Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infamy
by Jaegothis
Summary: There are many dangers in the Mystery Dungeon universe... including a world-hating Snivy, an insane Tepig, and a deranged Pikachu that dragged them on his 'epic' journey. How can these antiheroes survive? Well, you'll just have to read on and see. SYOC open! Chapters being redone.
1. An Introduction

The sun beat down on the residents of Post Town, who were doing their normal routine- i.e partying, sunbathing in the shade, having nose-picking contests, and using random old pokemon as piñatas.

But we don't care about them. No, we care about our protagonists, one of which is a Snivy. He probably has a mental disorder, or maybe he's genocidal. Oh, and he used to be a human, but we don't care about that.

Our second beloved character is a Tepig that's devoured one too many Pixie Stix, is probably an arsonist, and belongs in Post Town's insane asylum. But she's irrelevant for this chapter, probably.

Our third character is a Pikachu with nonexistent muscles, who raps and thinks he's famous. He's really not. Shall I list everything wrong with him? Okay, number one: HE WAS BORN. Two: HE RAPS. Did I mention his muscles?

Moving on.

The Snivy's name is Aegothis, who is totally not a self-insert. Who knows, he might end up hating the fourth wall. But here he is, waking up as a pokemon.

"Uuuugh… I knew that last chocolate bar was a bad idea…" he groaned, shielding his eyes from the sun.

"No it wasn't." the second pokemon, the Tepig, argued.

"Yes it was!" the Pikachu cheered, fistpumping and 'accidentally' hitting himself in the face. See, I told you he had problems.

The Snivy stared. The Tepig snickered and began snacking on popcorn.

The Pikachu, now sporting a black eye, raised his fist and posed heroically. "I, the great and powerful Roman, shall eliminate the intruders that fell from the sky!" and then posed another fifty times. A random troupe of paparazzi hurried up and began taking pictures. I told you he wasn't famous.

The Snivy apparently decided to go along with it and stuck his paw out to shake. "Hey. I'm Aegothis, but you can call me Ae."

Roman squinted, before screaming; "STRANGER DANGER!" and running off into a random hole in a mountain, neither of which had been there before.

Ae turned to the Tepig. "Oh look, he ran. Now we must go on an epic quest that we will most likely die on." He casually walked into the hole, dragging the wailing Fire-type.

" _No! You can't take me alive! I HAVE RIGHTS!"_

"You have the right to remain silent!" he retorted.

"NOO! Curse my 45 base speeds!" she wailed, before sticking a sugar-coated pacifier in her own mouth and wiggling her eyebrows stupidly. "Sup, bro. I'm Jay."

The Snivy decided not to dignify that with an answer and instead took one step and fell down three steps, tripped over a Rattata, curled into a ball, and flipped majestically into a wall, somehow finding the exit… and Roman.

"Should we help him?" the Pikachu asked, flexing his nonexistent muscles furiously. More pictures were taken.

"Naw," Jay said casually, picking up the Grass Snake. "It's too early in the story for him to die." She walked out the exit, Roman hurrying after her.

Unfortunately, a straggling sapling blocked the way across a gaping hole in between two mountains. Roman took a deep breath until his face turned blue, attempting to summon a Thunder attack. It failed.

Duh.

He passed out, leaving Jay to throw both unconscious pokemon across the gap. It failed.

Duh.

Instead, the two ended up at the beginning of the dungeon again, now revived for some stupid reason.

"I hate you!" Ae shouted up at the Tepig, shaking his fist. Roman attempted to throw him back up, using his nonexistent muscles. It failed.

Duh.

"No worries," Roman said, winking. "My fans will carry us up there."

 **Ten minutes later**

"I hate you," Ae said as the Pikachu and Snivy were forced to traverse the dungeon by themselves.

 **Another couple minutes later**

When the panting pokemon arrived at the top, Jay had found the time to finish three crossword puzzles (all about Roman), learn Pignite Latin and Tepigpen Code, and read Alakazam's biography. What Alakazam? I don't know.

On the way up, Roman had composed several raps, which he began to share with Ae.

The Snivy found many more things to hate, including rap.

"YOU AND ME, YOU STUPID THING!" he howled, punching the sapling. It fell over, allowing the three to cross. Don't ask how, because it's about ten feet too short.

OoO

 **SYOC is officially open! Send in your weirdos!**


	2. Stupid Anologies

We cut back to the three bumbling idiots who crossed the log in record time, (3.54 hours, thanks to Roman's fear of heights) and came to the other side. On the way, both Jay and Ae had time to learn how to play Monopoly with rocks and dust.

"Right," Jay said. "How do we get down?" Roman took a look over the edge and turned green. "OH MY ARCEUS!" she screamed suddenly. "A _SHINY_ Pikachu! Snivy, got any pokeballs?"

Ae bravely resisted the urge to punch her. He failed, and ended up blaming it on loss of fine motor skills. "No, and shiny Pikachu aren't that color, I think." he sighed, peering over the edge himself. "Thankfully, we can't die yet!"

"I catch your drift," Roman said, winking stupidly and flexing nonexistent muscles again. "Maybe I should rap! Then my fangirls will help their super muscular idol out!"

"TAKE ME, O DEATH!" Ae shrieked and leapt off the cliff, having already been exposed to the Pikachu's rapping.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," Roman said stupidly. "I guess he was too afraid of the fangirls."

Jay snorted and poked the wall, making a magic hole appear. The duo stepped in. not caring about the heavily bruised yet relieved Snivy waiting at the bottom.

†

A group of Minccino stood right in front of the entrance, which they bumped into the second they stepped in. A huge slab of rock crashed into the opening behind them, trapping the two in.

"Alright," Roman stage whispered. "There's only six of them. I can take on about two by myself, so we outnumber them!" Jay shrugged.

"I don't have opposable fingers so eh. Sounds legit."

The Minccino, who had apparently been schooled correctly, stared in confusion. (Roman's confusion attacks are quite efficient.)

"I don't want to do this," the Tepig complained, going into the corner to do some more crossword puzzles.

Roman scratched his head awkwardly. "Hey dude, you want to get some pizza or something?" he asked the head Minccino.

"Pizza doesn't exist in the Mystery Dungeon universe."

The Pikachu nodded. "Oh, right. I was thinking of steak."

The Chinchilla Pokemon stared, wondering if this was a prank. "Should we just kill him?" one wondered, while another growled; "We can't kill them yet, you dum-dum!" while the leader yelled; "KILL HIM AND HIS RIDICULOUSLY BIG MUSCLES!"

Jay looked up from her book. "Hey Pikachu, what's a synonym for poop?"

Roman's eyes bulged as the six pokemon chased him. "CRAAAAAAAP!"

"Good enough," the Tepig said, scribbling it down.

OoO

Somehow the idiots managed to get through the place to the bottom, where Ae was napping. After Roman threatened to rap, the Snivy was up in an instant. They continued along a nice convenient road where a sign said: _Now leaving: Ragged Mountain: Post Town_ with a little arrow pointing up.

"One problem," Ae pointed out. "None of us can fly."

"Like, whatever!" Roman snorted, posing for a passing fangirl. "I have an appointment at the Pokemon Paradise, so follow me with your little 90 base speed butts."

"…That's you," Jay pointed out.

"Shut up and follow me."

OoO

"WHERE IS THE RECEPTIONIST? I demand a refund!" Roman raged as the three arrived at a sandy canyon. A lonely tumbleweed whisked by.

"And it doesn't have free wifi!" Jay said, looking scandalized.

"He just bought it." Ae began. "He bought it. I think I want to kill myself. Does Kecleon sell death pills or something? Rope?"

"Hey guys, welcome to HOME!" Roman cheered, waving a piece of paper.

"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" Ae screamed, shoving his head underground.


	3. Terrible Battle-Cries

I do not own Pokemon, LOTR, or anything else referenced.

OoO

"IF SOMEONE DOESN'T GIVE ME WATER THERE'S GONNA BE DEATH TO PAY!"

"Jay," Ae sighed, getting ready to break out the duct tape. "Look at the pools right in front of you. Why are they not acceptable?"

Roman wrinkled his nose. "Ew! A bunch of old pokemon probably bathe in there."

"That creepy Kecleon might have water," Ae said, pointedly ignoring the Pikachu.

Jay whimpered. "His eyes bore into my soul."

"Maybe if we look homeless enough, we might get water for free." Ae tipped his head to the side. "I mean, it's not like we have money."

"Since when was money ever useful?" Roman snorted. "We can just knowck him out and loot the store! I mean, that's not illegal here, is it?"

"That's probably because the citizens of Post Town are good, upstanding pokemon who would never commit a crime."

Jay snorted out a puff of smoke. "Those losers! I'll teach them to go with the crowd!"

Ae buried his face in his arms and groaned loudly. "You are so messed up."

Roman strolled up to the store and did his best to look ragged. (Meaning, he took off all his rap jewelry.) Jay smeared some dirt on herself and shirked away from Kecleon. A tiny whisper of "He can see into my brain," was heard.

"Homeless kids?" Kecleon asked. "Get out of here, you rascals."

"We need some water to save our dying mother," Jay lied.

"Oh really." Kecleon did not sound convinced. "Tell me, what species is she?"

"ORAN!" Roman shouted at the top of his lungs. "Or was it Pecha?"

"Get out of here before I make you," Kecleon growled, brandishing several Blast Seeds.

"Sorry sir, but we're robbing you now," Ae informed the shopkeeper dully, walking up and snatching several bottles of water from the counter.

"Have a nice day!" Jay called.

"I think we should make robbery illegal here now," the mayor of Post Town said, watching the entire thing unfold. "Unfortunately, since it's not currently, they can't technically be punished."

"Oh yes we can!" Kecleon shouted, chasing the fleeing trio. "COME BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU PROPERLY!"

Ae sent the most pointed look at Roman that he could while he and Jay split up.

"Uh, help me, I'm drowning!" Roman called, pouring a bottle of water over his head.

Kecleon stopped on a dime. "No you're not."

"Oh yeah," Roman said, jumping into the pool of water behind the shop. "Help me, I'm drowning!"

Kecleon, gnashing his teeth, dived into the exactly two inch deep pool, knocking himself out.

Roman emerged from the water with a fist raised triumphantly. "Team Rocket, blasting off at the speed of light!"

OoO

"Well this place sucks," Jay complained, kicking a rock. They were back in the wasteland known as the Pokemon Paradise. "We need stuff to actually be built here."

"You three need something built?" a random Gurdurr asked, walking up to us. "In this wasteland?"

Ae nodded eagerly. "You can help us?"

"Haha, no. See ya, losers!" The Gurdurr walked off.

"I hate you."

"We'll just have to get the materials ourselves." Jay narrowed her eyes and clenched her paws, somehow. "TO THE DUNGEONS!"

"Don't wee need some long explanations about how they were created?" Ae asked.

Roman rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid."

OoO In the Dungeon

"This place sucks," Ae griped.

SCREEEEECH!

"Aw sweet, a boss fight already!" Roman fistpumped.

"I hope we have enough sardines," Jay said, playing on a phone. "I wonder if Snivy will do."

They traversed the first few floors easil, stopping before a large red wooden door.

"I like how this is supposed to stop us," Jay said, gesturing to parts of the wood that was rotting. "The game designers were clearly not very smart."

"You're not smart if you think we're in a video game," Ae sighed. "light her up, Jay."

The Tepig looked horrified. "Wait, that door is female? I'll never be able to face myself if I burned it!"

"I got this," Roman smirked, flexing madly. The door burst open from the sheer horror.

"Wait!" Roman cried, unraveling a long list. "We need an inspiring speech! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of 'mon fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of 'mon comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Pokemon of the West!" He looked up, only to see that the others were already in battle.

"Please tell me that you're my afternoon snack and not my challengers," the Braviary said flatly.

Jay looked at her watch. "It's not even ten yet."

"Let's just get this over with, okay?" The giant bird shrugged off a Vine Whip and began to sharpen its claws on a nearby rock.

"I vote we run," Jay offered. "I seem to have run out of sardines."

"Good idea!" the Braviary said, blocking the entrance with a boulder. "Let's kill you now!"

"This guy's messed up," Roman said. "He doesn't refer to himself properly."

Ae covered his face in shame.


	4. More Battle-cries

**I need to get my priorities straight, I really do. I don't own Monty Python, Pokemon, or the absolute stupidi- wait, yes I do.**

 **Aegothis's POV**

"Yaah!" Roman roared, charging forwards with a flash of light, zapping the mighty Valiant Pokemon we were fighting. I leapt onto his left wing, biting and not letting go, only to be thrown off and crashing into a wall. So much for a noble finisher.

"Yo ho, a pirates life for me, al la wir sind dae essen!" Jay shrieked nonsensically, charging straight into a wall. "Mary had a little Mareep, little Mareep, little Mareep, Mary had a little Mareep, and _now you're going to die_!" With that terrifying (not!) statement, she evolved with a bright flash of light… Wait, no, that was just Roman Thunder Shocking the air.

"There's only three of you!" the Braviary screeched, beating back Jay with a powerful flap of his wings.

"The number shall be three, not two, nor four, but three!" Roman laughed deliriously, kickboxing the wall. That left it up to me, a Snivy with a disadvantage. Against all odds, I would prevail, in the face of death I would spit out my gum, and at death's door, I would knock and run away. The massive bird loomed over me, and I nervously edged away.

"Meep?" I squeaked out nervously, edging myself away.

" _For Narnia!"_ The attack would've been more effective if the Tepig hadn't yelled it out before leaping onto the back- or tried to, because the Braviary used a huge Whirlwind, senting the Tepig into the wall, back end sticking out. The Flying Type finished her off with a Fury Attack, popping the Fire Pig Pokemon onto her back, legs in the air.

"It's just a flesh wound! I'll bite your head off! Yaaah!" To my right, Roman crashed into the wall, apologized, and did it again. The bird in front of me didn't look impressed.

"Feel my _wrath_!" it howled, tucking it's (his?) wings in and diving. I closed my eyes and braced for impact. I had few seconds before it connected…

"Jay, your momma so fat she jumped up and got stuck!" The Tepig was silent. "Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!" The Braviary stopped in midair, evidently

"One," Jay hissed in a tone that could freeze lava, "Second, I never knew my mother. Third. Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. _Prepare to die!_ " Roman rallied as well, apologizing to the wall one more time.

" _Leroy Jenkins!"_ With an Ember the size of a Flamethrower, a Thunder Shock as powerful as a Thunder, and a Leer from me, the great bird fell, struck by my super amazing Leer… what do you _mean_ , it wasn't all me? I deserve the credit- we're still rolling? Cut! Cu-

Ω

"Well that was great," Roman said happily, slurping at an iced tea. "Do you still have those blue stones?" I reached in my tail leaf and shifted around, tossing out my dirty laundry, three mountains, a good chunk of Johto, a few donuts, (which Jay immediately snatched) but no blue stones. Silence reigned for a second. _"Yaaaaaaaaagh!"_ Roman roared in a good impression of the Staraptor and Zebstrika Choir. Speaking of, I do believe they're coming to town… "If no one gives them up," he growled, faking calm, "I will _decimate_ this city to the point!" After that threat, a Scraggy tossed down a few shiny blue stones and made an escape. "Good."

"Nyah nyah!" the Scraggy yelled, stretching his mouth so wide he looked like the demonical Pokemon version of the Joker.

"You're going down!" I snapped, getting up and sprinting after him. He escaped, tossing a few choice words behind him. "Never mind. Why didn't you help me/" I complained to my two… _companions_.

After depositing some items and getting directions from a few pokemon where the Scraggy had gone, we set out again... to Pokemon Paradise. "Now it's cold out," Roman complained. "Jay, make a fire."

"No!"

"Fine…" We spent the night is freezing cold temperatures, (really only about sixty degrees below, those wimps) and come morning, two thirds of our group was turning blue.

Ω

After we had been sufficiently burnt to crisps, we set out for the next dungeon- Hay Pass, I believe. Jay torched the few Sewaddle hanging around and I handled the Wooper, and we altogether ignored the Audino. There were some shiny tree stumps that were electrocuted, burned, and jumped on, causing three more tree stumps to rise up.

"It's magic!" Roman gasped.

"It's a conspiracy!" Jay snapped.

"Its video game logic," I told them smartly.

We traversed the first five floors with only _minor_ third degree burns, whiplash, paralysis, and for some reason, only one broken bone, which happened to be Roman's tailbone. Interpret that as you wish. On the sixth floor, the Scraggy and the Gurdurr from before waited. "Oh good, some joint responsibility," Jay said happily, causing a mass face palm to occur.

"We must fight! For victory!" I cried valiantly, charging. Three seconds later, I was thrown back into Roman, who complained about me making him break a nail. "Why didn't you charge with me?" The Scraggy Leered at us and Roman Growled back. "Keep doing that!" He shrugged and Growled again. "Charge!" Jay and I charged, only to be knocked out immediately with a large steel girder.

" _Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows_!" I heard Roman say before I blacked out.

Ω Roman's POV

"Ninety nine bottle of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer, you take one down, and you _smash it on your enemies' heads,_ ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall!" I picked up a rock that had fallen and threw it at the Scraggy. "Ninety eight cans of Sprite on the wall, ninety eight bottles of Sprite, you take one down, _you chug it all down,_ ninety eight bottles of Sprite on the wall!" I pulled a can of soda from who knows where and chugged it. Oh, they were _screwed._

 **Don't know what happened there… a more serious one with less jokes, but whatever. Review!**


	5. Bad Jokes

**Priority 1: Writing PMD. Priority 2: Writing FBYLtF. Priority 3: Doing actual physical things. Priority 4: Work. Yep, looks good. And one more thing- I have no idea how many Paradise points are earned for a mission. Help wanted! Don't own anything.**

 **Roman's POV**

"Yah!" I cried, aiming a flying side kick at the Scraggy, knocking it off balance. "Taste my fist!" I roared, back hook kicking the Gurdurr. Behind me, Aegothis stirred, muttering about Fibonacci spirals and tree whistles. I turned to face the Shedding pokemon. _Clunk_. The Muscular Pokemon behind me slammed his girder into the back of my head, throwing me to the ground.

"Did we come in late?" I looked blearily to the entrance, where another team had come in. "Oh never mind." A blast of psychic power rippled over the area, completely ignoring the Scraggy. "Dang these paper cuts!" the speaker said as a way of cursing. "Wingler!" A Togepi was flung out, rolling out. "Dazzling Gleam!" A bring light whipped through the area, causing the Scraggy to faint and the Gurdurr to collapse. "Autobots, roll out!" And with that, the team was gone; causing me to think it was a delusion.

"Well…" I paused, glancing around. "That's why you never mess with the Roman!" I boasted, jumping on top of the Scraggy. "I fart in your general direction!" Unfortunately, said action caused a few pebbles to fall to the ground from the side... right next to the huge thundering boulder coming at me. The large rock collected the Gurdurr and charged straight at me.

"Never fear, underwear is here!" Jay sang, running _away_ as fast as possible and magically reviving. The rock thundered towards me still.

"Help?" I asked, watching the ball of death and doom charging at me. At this rate, it would hit me in… oh, two hours? "Come on guys, I'm trying to die epically!" I snapped at my companions.

"Die epically? Get killed by a Charizard X and I'll respect you," Aegothis snorted. "Take your left leg and lift, moving it exactly one foot to the right. Repeat."

"Oh good, I thought I was going to die!" I sobbed, collapsing into his arms.

"I hate everything," Aegothis sighed.

Ω Aegothis's POV

The rock that had 'almost' crushed Roman had carved out a nice tunnel and we traipsed up it to the seventh floor. Two Timburr from the town were sitting there, casually playing a game of chess. Roman inflated his chest and strutted up.

"We've been waiting for you," Roman said ominously, even though it was the other way around. The two Timburr looked confused.

"Who in the blazes are you?" the one playing the black pieces asked. "And why are you here?" he asked.

"Who cares? They're obviously here to rescue the pickle peach from the evil clutches of backgammon!" the one playing the white pieces protested. Oh to heck with it, they are now known as Black and White. Black scowled, beating White over the head with a king. "Oh yeah."

"Um anyways," I cut in awkwardly, "We're going to~"

"Oh, we're going to beat the boss's face in and rob him of any valuable belongings," Jay cut in with a happy go lucky smile. Cue mass face palm.

The Timburr joined us in our epic quest and helped us clear the floors, (in reality, they did all the work while we sat back and watched) leading us to the ninth floor.

"Alright troops, it's five on one," Roman said in a stage whisper. The Timburr shook their heads. "Oh fine, three on one. We can do this! One, two, five, team- uh~"

"Oh hi," Jay said, walking up to the Gurdurr waiting there as if she hadn't seen him before. "Are you the cashier? I'd like to buy these _loverrrly_ Oran Berries here. How much do they cost?" The Gurdurr flapped his mouth idiotically.

"Jay!" I hissed.

"Oh right," she said, beating him over the head with a rock. "But seriously, how much do they cost?"

"Watch out!" Roman cried, leaping backwards and doing a flip right into the rock wall, knocking himself out. The Gurdurr grabbed the Tepig by the ears and aimed its girder at her head.

"Make a move and she's twinkies!" he threatened in a gravelly voice.

"NO!" Jay shouted. "You can't kill me! If you do, your democracies will fall down! Your republics will collapse! Your rulers will die by extremely painful chopstick dancing! Uh… I. Am. _Spartacus!_ "

Silence. Then the Gurdurr wept and fell to the ground, begging for forgiveness.

"That went well. Now build us a house."

Ω Still the ten year old kid's POV

The Gurdurr and Timburr, under pain of extremely painful chopstick dancing, reluctantly built us a house. Quagsire came the second it was finished and dragged us away to an Azumarill, who showed us a notice board with some different missions.

"Ooh ooh!" Roman said in a good impression of a Mankey, pointing at a task. "I wanna, I wanna, I wanna do that one!" The Post-It sticker read; _Stonestump Peak_. "Wait, what's the actual mission?" Quagsire Sparta-kicked us outside a gate that magically opened and began explaining the guidelines for Mystery Dungeons.

"So each mission you gain a certain amount of points for the Paradise, depending on the difficulty of the mission. Rack up points to rank up and upgrade the Pokemon Paradise!"

Jay sighed. "No donuts?"

Yeah… anyways, we wandered into the cave, whispering about how we should be quiet and singing hard rock songs at the top of our lungs. So this dungeon was just a normal mission, nothing unusual… at all, but I kept thinking about the team we had run into earlier, and I couldn't keep it out of my head until Roman tripped into the bottomless pit that appeared out of magical sparkles and thin air. He kept screaming until the kraken swallowed him up, and then teleported right back to us.

So just a normal day here with us.


	6. Awful Acronyms

**So I have 3000 words done on FBYLtF, I will most likely be posting a new chapter Friday. Stay tuned!**

 **Ae's POV**

"I think my lungs are punctured," Roman whimpered as we dragged him out of the kraken's mouth. (In reality, the 'kraken' was a Joltik, but shh…)

"Suck it up and be a woman," Jay told him disgustedly, stepping on a feather and falling to the ground screaming in pain.

"How'd you even get back in the 'kraken's' mouth? You teleported back to us." I pointed out.

"It's a conspiracy!" Jay snapped, kicking the wall for good measure. "Six Treaties Under Pain Including Death! Also known as S.T.U.P.I.D for short."

"Oh really," Roman started, " _I_ remembered it as Illustrious Dogs In Oklahoma Typing. Or I.D.I.O.T for short."

"Well, I remembered it as Silent Hiccups Undoing Tara's Undulating Pickles," I growled, stomping along. "Or S.H.U.T U.P for short." My companions were silent, and I smiled in satisfaction.

"You! Stop in the name of my mother's laundry! You disturbed my slumber! Die, die, die!" an elderly Bagon snapped, hopping towards us on one foot. "Stay where you are! I'm coming for you!"

"Yeah, whatever," I sighed, walking off.

"Wait! Are you here for the lost Dunsparce? I heard he ran off!" the Bagon asked, still quite a ways off. No one responded. "Then you better go catch him! Ha-ha!"

"That was the worst joke in the history of ever!" Roman shouted after him, sticking out his tongue at the Bagon's retreating backside.

"Come on," I sighed, turning around and running straight into a herd of Tympole. "Attack!" A conjured up a Vine Whip and lashed it around the lead's neck, leaping off his head and attacking the next one. I neatly bounced from pokemon to pokemon, attacking them all with my Vine Whip. "That went well," I said happily, tossing them all to the Jolik.

Ω

Eventually we came to a river with logs floating around in various formations.

"Is that my Timothy?" Jay asked nonsensically.

"So now what?" Roman asked, scratching his head. "We've messed with the logs… wait, I remember now! There was another cavern at the entrance! We must have to do some other random irrelevant dungeon crawling crap that~"

"Screw that," Jay snorted, dropkicking him over the river. "With the power of Arceus!" She turned into a Dewott and swam over.

"You can't do that!" I cried, affronted.

"Oh yeah," she said, embarrassed. "At least I'm not a wimp like those wimps Quilava and Charmander who can't touch water."

"I think Quilava _can_ touch water, just their flames die down…" I paused and looked over her shoulder. "Eh… you might want to look behind you…" Nervously, the Tepig did so. "Bye bye!" I ran from the Quilava and his gang that had appeared from nowhere. A psychic hold tossed me back in front of them. I froze, petrified. "Um… nice pokemon?"

"Nice try," a Lucario snorted. "Dragon Pulse!" I panicked and began to crawl away. The last thing I heard was Jay shouting;

"Noo! I'm too young to die!"

"Jay, you're snorkwerdaff…"

Ω

"Ow! The nerve of those unevolved pokemon! I can't even… oh snickerdoodles." The Psychic grabbed me and threw me over to the other side of the river… again. "Meep… don't kill me."

 **Very short, yes, but I have the chapter of FBYLtF to finish.**


	7. Unproductive Stupidity

**I'm back! *poses dramatically*. This chapter is all about the team doing stupid acts of stupidity. (Also known as committing acts of crime- that made no sense. I do not condone any of the acts done in this chapter.)**

 **Flare: You look like an idiot.**

 **I always do, don't I? Anyways, I don't own Pokemon or Mystery Dungeon.**

 **A-E-G-O-T-H-I-S**

"That felt great," Roman chirped cheerfully as the three of us found ourselves in a hospital for some unknown reason.

"You know what we should do now?" I said back.

"Hold a tea party?" Jay suggested from my other side. "I'll bring Jasmine!" I tried to force away the thought that Jasmine was a person.

"You guys are idiots! Now shut up and let me sleep." A Grovyle on the other side of the room snapped at us.

"Don't you mean Sick Hirsch Ukuleles Tagging Upset Porygon?" I inquired innocently. "Or maybe~"

"Okay, okay, I get it, now kindly shut up and let me sleep!" the Tree Gecko Pokemon seethed, turning around as best as he could.

"How'd you get in here? It couldn't be because of my super amazing muscles," Roman smirked, flexing obnoxiously again. "And what's your name?"

"I was… uh, lost in a dungeon and was lighting a torch when, I fell off a cliff. Now leave me alone!" the grumpy Grovyle said. And it's Grant."

"Grumpy grandpa Grovyle Grant!" Jay sang, ripping apart her Jello cup with the pillow.

"Back to business!" Roman snapped at us, oddly stern. "We're a team now. A _team_ , ya hear me? We need to work together, but more importantly, we need a name."

"A team? Do you mean dungeon crawling?" Grant asked, showing that he had been listening. "To get points and rank up, etcetera? That's what I need, especially if you guys have compasses or maps… I'm in, I guess."

"Kay kay." I said obnoxiously. "We need a name… how about the Sacrifice Team? We can just sacrifice Jay if things get out of hand- never mind." I amended after seeing the looks that the other Pokemon sent me. "How about… um, we're going up through the ranks… ascend… rising…"

"We could be super unoriginal and name ourselves the Rising Stars," Jay suggested as a nurse came in with breakfast.

"Hey guys; don't eat the Froot Loops, that's cannibalism." I called to them. "And leave the nuts for me, eating those is also cannibalistic."

And so the Rising Stars were born.

"How'd y'all get out so soon, anyways? And why were you in there?" Grant asked curiously as we finished dumping the gasoline on the hospital. With a nice Ember, the flames roared up.

"A Quilava and their team did it. So now you're guilty of arson, robbery, two counts of murder, maybe more, vandalism in the Stony Cave~" I shot at Jay and Roman.

"Hey, that didn't count, and besides, that wasn't vandalism."

"Anything else you'd like to add to that list?" I asked, ignoring the Pikachu's comment.

"Ooh, I know! How about police brutality!" Roman said excitedly, running across the middle of the road to get to some random pokemon that looked nothing like any sort of law enforcement.

"Add jaywalking to that list." Grant supplied. "And that's not how police brutality works!"

"What do you want?" Jay snapped irritably, pickpocketing a random Swanna.

"I heard my species name," a Quilava said pleasantly behind me. I began to sweat, as I was an unevolved Grass type pokemon versus an evolved Fire type pokemon.

"Are you the one that beat him up?" Without waiting for an answer, the Grovyle charged, his arm leaves sharpening to turn into deadly blades. I laughed nervously and ran from the other three pokemon that had just appeared, one of them Teleporting in front of me, arm blades raised and positively _glowing_ with power. The Psychic glared at me… and kicked a miniscule speck of dust at me.

"Ahh!" I howled in pain, clutching my face. "Everything's going dark… I'm too young to die! I'm only ten! I just started my journey!"

 **Grant's POV**

I raised my Leaf Blades and charged at the Quilava, who accepted my challenge with a sharp smile, covering himself with fire and charging at me. I let out an undignified squeak and jumped, only to be caught in mid-air by a Lucario. "That's not fair! This is a two on one!" The Lucario bared his fangs in an approximation of a smile, sharp fangs glinting.

"Life isn't fair, Grovyle."

The flames enveloped me, and the last words I heard were _"Don't mess with Team Alpha, sucka!"_

 **Jay's POV**

"Mercy!" the Swanna screamed, covering herself with her wings and water. "Water Sport!"

"What?" I asked, stopping. "I haven't reached you yet. And that's not fair! My moves are only like, ¼ of the power on you!"

"That made no sense," she sighed. "But I don't like you, so Aqua Ring, Rain Dance!" She covered herself with a veil of water.

"Are you married? You just put a veil of wa- never mind," I sighed as she began to do the Macarena, causing rain to fall for some absurd reason. While she was dancing, I attacked. "I'm running on CPU knowledge, so I'll use the worst move to use right now!" I used an Ember and beat my chest for some reason. "Fear the mighty Tepig~"

The Swanna got fed up with me and used a Water Gun. "Shush." Me, being the ultra-strong pokemon that I was, fainted.

Roman? Oh, turns out the stupid Pikachu had attacked a donut shop and was being carted off to the jail.

That was where we were all going to end up, anyways.


	8. Bad Singing

**I'm baaack! And I still don't own PMD. Or Pokemon. If I did, the world would end. And Grant is OOC, but whatever.**

 **Ae's Pov**

"Whose fault was this again?" I wondered as the four of us sat in a jail cell, playing... Candyland.

"I dunno, but it must be the Candyland Conspiriacy-" Jay began.

"Stop right there! Hands and paws up so we can arrest you!" a random guy said, wearing an Assault Vest.

"We're already arrested, but okay then." I grumped grumpily.

"Whatever. You're going to court for your crimes against Candyland!"

OHM

"So. Do we get a defendant? Wait, we're the defendants... I think. D'wee get a lawyer?" Roman asked excitedly. The judge, who was a Blaziken, began banging his gavel.

"No! You didn't pay for one. Instead, my highly unbiased District Attourney shall act as lawyer!" he said, kicking the trained Archeops.

"Grant! Some help over here, please?" The Grovyle, who had escaped and was now doing crosswords, looked up at us and then the judge.

"You! Are you in any way, shape, or form affiliated with these crime commies... commnits... commererwas... communists..."

"Commiters?" Grant asked politely. "And no, I'm just here for the ride. And then, when they fail, I point and laugh. And by the way, guilty."

"Guilty! Guilty!" the Archeops chorused.

"I just realized something!" Roman said, eyes wide.

"I do that sometimes. It gives me a headache." said the judge. "I shalt not consult mah jury! Guards, to infinity and beyond!" He picked up his gavel and began to zoom around the room, making airplane noises. "Pew pew pew! Pew pee- hahaha pee!" The Blaziken began convulsing with laughter and choked to death on a pea.

"How immature." I sighed. Says the ten year old. "Let's go, being the fugitives that we are."

—

"So I think we're going to need to hide in mystery dungeons. They'll never find us there!" Roman said, being logical for once. "Mystery dungeons' layouts change for every person or team. It's perfect!" he said, squealing stupidly.

"Good idea, team. We must get a move on as soon as pokemonly possible. Got it?" Grant asked, apparently back.

"Got it! But first, I need a nap. It'll only be, hmm, three hours?" the Tepig said. I opened my mouth in a silent scream.

—

"La da da da da da DA! La da da da da da dee! La da da da da da da dough, we ain't gonna be kicking the Tepig's butt like what what what what!" Roman sang, holding an invisible michrophone with one hand and flexing with the other.

"Say what?" Jay screeched angrily.

"What!" Roman cheered. "La ha ha ha ha ha ho! La hee hee hee howitzers! La ra ra ra ra ra ro, the Snivy is going down like conglomerated nuts nuts nuts nuts!"

"Excuse me?" I retorted.

"You're excused!" Roman continued, bowing to an invisible crowd. "Now I'm saying; la na na na na na na! La nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh! La no no no no no NOOOOO!" he screamed, voice breaking on the last word.

"Do it and die." said Grant, casually sharpening his Leaf Blades with a balloon.

"The Grovyle won't like if I sing about him, he'll give me lots of cuts cuts cuts cuts!" Roman sang obliviously, Grant taking him down. "La la la la la- my eye!- la la! La lo lo lo lo -my tail!- lo! La le le le le -my small intestine!- le leeeeee!" Roman fainted. "Ow... my poor wisdom teeth..."

"And you never used them, anyways!' Grant said, triumphantly holding up four bloody teeth. "Stress relief," he said by way of explaining.

"Works for me." said Jay.

-–—

"So, we can actually live here?" I asked, Roman on my shoulder, still fainted.

"Yup. Berries and seeds automatically appear whenever new explorers appear, which is like, every day, and the wild Pokemon are... plentiful, if we want to enslave them to make our world domination plans complete!" Grant laughed evilly.

"Okaaay, back to Hazy Cave. Hazy Cave to Grant? Wait, can we make a base in there and earn points and crap?"

"Possibly..."

"Muahahaha! Screw you, Pokemon Paradise!"

—

"Chop chop!" Jay laughed gleefully, scorching the base of a tree trunk that had appeared inside Hazy Cave for reasons unknown. "Ready? Pull!" I nodded and wrapped my vines around the branches and pulled the tree down. "Well, this is fun."


	9. Silly Services

**Da na na na naaaa! I'm back!**

 **Dranicus101: (Reply) Weeeellll I liked the outlaw idea. So there. The judge was … uhm, odd, to say the least. The random singing was a bored thingamadoohickey that I came up with just for fun :D**

 **Also, 350 views! Y'all are amazing! I have no idea how or why anyone would look at this weird figment of my stupidity/randomness/idiocy, but y'all are AMAZING! Wingler, disclaimer please?**

 **Wingy: Jaycloud7 doesn't own Pokemon, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, or Gwant, whom belongs to Dwanicus101.**

 **Do I have to say it? Aegothis's POV.**

"I'm tired," Roman whined. "Grant, carry me." He flopped to the ground, wiping imaginary sweat off of his forehead.

"The only way I would carry you would be dissecting you and then carrying your body to cremation." came the reply from the irate Grovyle, who was hopping from tree to tree, slicing off unneeded branches. "And a stitch in the time saves nine."

"Works for me! And the only way I could do that would be to stitch up Palkia- oh." the Pikachu chirped, before being kicked by me.

"Watch out!" Jay cried to Roman as the tree we had been working on began to fall towards the unsuspecting Pikachu. With a roar, the smooth and now-bare trunk crashed to the ground, crushing him underneath its branches. "Crap. Does Post Town have any good hospitals?"

Ω

"Hello!" the receptionist, a Cleffa said cheerfully. "Will you need to go to the emergency room or the ICU today?" Grant grunted, holding up Roman by himself. Said Pikachu had a slight nosebleed… as well as the huge gaping wound on his head.

"What are you here for?" I sighed, looking at the papers that she slid over the desk for me. "Height, weight, BMI, religion, eye color, what do they need his laughter habits for?"

"Hello? This fatty is bleeding to death on me here!" Grant snapped at me and the Cleffa.

"Um… do you want an autopsy for him? We have premium care to make sure he doesn't feel any pain." While the three of us (Jay, Grant, and I) spluttered at the idiocy of this statement, Roman apparently woke up.

"I want to be _alive,_ thank you very much!"

"Oh, that's good! You're welcome! Do you have any suicide records?"

Silence. "Okay screw it, comin' through!" Jay roared, smashing through the wall and magically coming into a new and empty hospital room. "Oh." Behind the wall was an angry Lucario, a smoking Quilava, and- "Gotta go, bye!" Grant dropped Roman on the floor accidently when he turned to run, and a psychic grip took a hold of him. Cold red eyes met very scared red eyes, and the three of us ran for our lives.

Ω

"I still think we could've taken 'em," Grant grumbled as we plodded back to our home in the Mystery Dungeon that had somehow not moved for whatever reason.

"It hurts mommy." Jay whimpered from my other side. I looked over at her and noticed a smaller pokemon attacked to her tail, Pecking it furiously. "Get it off! Ow ow ow…" I grudgingly pried the weird red and grey pokemon off of her.

"Who're you?" I asked, examining her curiously. The Tiny Robin Pokemon chirped and pecked me on the side of my snout.

"Nova!" it –she- chirped again. I was about to reply when a yellow blur knocked us over and _into_ the actual dungeon. A very familiar yellow blur.

"Roman? What'd they do to you?" The Pikachu looked exactly the same as when we had left him- mostly unconscious and somewhat bloody. However, the wound was almost completely gone.

"Oh hi!" he said, pulling his head up out of the ground and spitting out dirt. "They just hooked me up to the electric chair, and voila, I healed! Great, isn't it?" He frowned and scratched his head, which caused more blood to trickle down his head. "But I need to stop this." He produced a toaster and a fork, stuck the plug on his cheeks, and began to spark, powering the toaster. He took the fork and stuck it in the bread slot, electrocuting himself. "Better now." The Pikachu tossed the appliance and fork behind him, causing shrieks of 'my saliva!' for whatever reason.

"That's… great." Grant said, confused about why he was in this stupid 'Rising Stars' team.

"Home, James!" said Nova and Jay, running into the makeshift log house we had been building. Well, Jay did. The Fletchling incapitated herself laughing too hard.

"Back to work, I guess." I said flatly, dragging myself to the random trees popping up.

Ω

"NO! We _don't_ __want to fight you!" Jay snapped at a tiny group of Joltik, who began shocking the Tepig. Two seconds later, fried Electric types flew everywhere.

"This sucks." I grumped, Vine Whipping another tree down. Grant shrug nodded, slicing it up into neat planks because pokemon.

Another two seconds passed, and I felt a Joltik crash into my head. "Jay, you have two seconds to run!"


	10. New Teammates

**Yes, yes, I know, I need to get a life, blah blah blah.**

 **Dranicus101: No kidding, why do you think Roman is a Pikachu? (Roman: I resent that!)**

 **We are nearing 400 views! And because of that, we're going to get this story back on track!**

 **Also, for all you silent viewers, REVIEW! If you don't here's a random question to answer. Where is the first time you meet Lance in gen 2? A. Lake of Rage B. Mahogany Town C. Elite Four D. Goldenrod Radio Tower. OR, here's another one. What pokemon was almost the mascot for the series?**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, or Grant, who belongs to Dranicus101.**

 **Aegothis's POV**

"So I snuck out under the cover of Night," Roman began, holding up a Joltik apparently named Night. "I snuck around Post Town, stealing the Azumarill's board with all of the missions on it."

"Actually," I interjected, "I did that. You went to the pawnbroker to try and fix your chess set."

"Oh yeah, how p/funny is that? I also tried to buy the camouflage shorts I saw yesterday, but I couldn't see them anymore. Well anyways, where are the missions?"

"Over there," I said, pointing over to a board in our half-finished home. "We can check 'em out, I guess. I have a feeling the Azumarill will just get a new board, but then we can just steal the little Post-Its off the board. So check it out!"

Random missions were scattered across the board. The first one I saw was item retrieval.

 _Help! I've lost my oh-so-precious Rainy Orb! Please help me find it! Reward: 70 Poke_. Not bad for a starting quest. "How about this one?" Roman asked, pointing at another one. _There is a pokemon terrorizing the feral pokemon in the Hazy Pass! Please take care of it!_ "We can do both, can't we?" Jay put in nervously.

"Yeah, only one problem. Only three pokemon can do missions at a time, otherwise it attracts too much attention. Four is too many, so… one of us is going to have to sit out." Grant supplied helpfully. "I nominate Jay or Roman."

"Yea, me too. Jay will most likely cause us to be found but Roman will most likely kill us."

"We're right here you know!" the Tepig said angrily. "And besides, it's too early in the story to die. Once we hit 1,000 views we'll be able to die!"

"Um Jay," the Grovyle began. "You do realize we're _not_ in a story, right? That'd be incredibly stupid."

"Right. I knew that."

"Back to the problem at hand! Who's not going? Jay? Thanks for volunteering." I faked a smile and pulled Roman and Grant along. The Tepig was immediately assaulted by an angry Fletchling.

"Nooo! Don't leave me like this! I beg you!"

"See ya suckas!" Roman called over his shoulder, Swaggering past, confusing us greatly… and also raising our attack as we all surged upon him.

Ω

"Ow…" the Pikachu whined as he dragged himself into the dungeon-y area. "That hurt you know. My appendix is missing now!"

"And you don't need your appendix now, do you?" I shot back. "Whatever. Rainy Orb and mischievous pokemon. Got it." We continued exploring the first floor, also making me wish that Jay was with us simply because of the sheer amounts of Sewaddle around here. Roman helped with the Wooper greatly, as I contemplated how Grass was strong versus Water.

We climbed up to the second floor, arguing about the tree stumps again. "I think I see the evil pokemon." Roman stated obviously, as the entirety of the pokemon population on the floor was in a giant heap. The Zorua on top laughed and ran off up to the next floor. We gave Chase up as an offering- wait, no, we gave chase to the Tricky Fox Pokemon, who led us up to the next floor.

"I see sparkly!" Roman gasped, snatching up the Rainy Orb that we were sent to retrieve. "My precious… bwahahahaha!"

"Roman…" I began. "Why don't you go back out and give the Orb to its rightful owner? We can take care of the Zorua by ourselves."

"Buh-buh-buh- okay, fine." Roman put away the Gameboy that had appeared in his paws and began juggling the Orb with a few Rattata, heading back down.

"Thank Arceus he's gone." muttered Grant. "Now, to business." The Zorua was nowhere to be found on the third floor, so we went up one more. "Is this supposed to be here?" We were in a maze of walls and rocks.

"Maybe it's the Zorua's doing," I suggested, poking one of the walls. It dissolved into… Poke puffs? Sure enough, many of the little sugary treats rained down upon me as the entire wall crumbled into Pokepuffs. "Ready, fire!" I cried as I spotted the Zorua perched up high. I took a bite of the dessert and lobbed it at the bigger pokemon, who effortlessly dodged.

"I'm back!" Roman shouted in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, appearing out of nowhere. "And I'm just in time!" The black and red pokemon above me laughed harder. I threw another Pokepuff at it, catching it on the ear. Surprisingly, its red parts melted away to reveal blue underneath.

"You're _shiny_?" I gasped in disbelief. The Zorua stopped laughing and used a Leer, scowling at us.

"I have an idea!" Roman said, striking a ridiculous pose and flexing nonexistent muscles. "Hit me!"

"With pleasure!" Grant and I said in unison, socking him in the head. The Pikachu fell to the ground, unconscious. "Oops."

"Haha! I like you guys. Were you sent to retrieve me? Where are you guys staying?" the Zorua asked.

"Um, right now our residence is Hazy Cave." I said awkwardly.

"Wait, what? I am _so_ in with you all! I get to stay in Hazy Cave 24/7!" he cheered, fist pumping.

Ω

"Well this isn't odd at all." said Grant, dropping Roman on the floor as we reached our hideout. The makeshift fort glowed for a second and when it faded, it looked… better… somehow. "Did we just level up or something?"

"Nope! You just got points for level up! Now is this all of your team or are there more?" the Zorua asked. Right about then, a Tepig was flung over the wall and a Fletchinder following.

"Well we sure missed a lot."

Ω

 **And that wraps up this chapter folks!** Remember to review!


	11. Say What?

**Yay, more inspiration.**

 **Dranicus101: Yeah, I have busy days too. Don't worry 'bout it. And what is PMD without teammates? Specifically idiotic teammates. And yes, I like the base thing too: D What ability does Grant have?**

 **Eater of Souls: Thanks, glad you liked it.**

 **The answer to the question is the Lake of Rage, where you must take care of the red Gyarados first.**

 **Trivia: In Pokemon Emerald, the Battle Tower is replaced by what?**

 **Review! The more I get the faster I write!**

 **Defiant: It's not like you have anything better to do. Oh right. Disclaimer. Jaycloud the idiotic does not own Pokemon or PMD or the Banana song or Grant, who belongs to Dranicus101.**

 **And um, there's not gonna be an FBYLtF update unless I get over my writers block.**

"So… uh, who are you?" I asked the Zorua.

"Eclipse. I assume you are the team leader? You seem sane enough." The Tricky Fox Pokemon idly began to create copies of him, which was admittedly creepy but I let it go.

"Eh, I guess I'm the co-leader. Sort of, maybe, so-so, possibly. This is Roman, Jay, Nova, Grant and I'm Aegothis the facepalming." Eclipse nodded, mouthing the names.

Nova nosedived the Tepig who had begun to stretch out lazily. "Ow!" The Tepig covered herself in flame and the Fletchinder caught on fire, angrily putting out the burning flames. "What?" The Fire Pig Pokemon began to glow a bright white, form shifting and growing. When it faded, the light faded to reveal a bigger, buffer pokemon. Pignite, I do believe. "Nooo! I don't want to evolve! Sob sob." Fully pronouncing the words 'sob sob' for an unknown reason, the Pignite fell to her knees, 'accidently' Arm Thrusting Roman into the nearest wall.

"What in the name of bananas was that? I like bananas, you know that mangos are sweet~ nevermind." Nova asked with eyes wide.

"…That was me not realizing I had this much strength." The Pignite cackled, punching the wall and causing the entire roof to collapse. Actually, that's what she thought would happen. In reality, the Pignite charged over to the wall and tripped over her own two feet.

"Wow, how'd that evolution happen? That was pretty cool." Eclipse dropped the 'tough guy' act and admired the admiration. That made no sense either. Shush.

"Well when you have to deal with that annoying Fletchinder," Roman began, stepping out of the wall without a scratch and dodging the attack his way, "it takes a lot out of you." Attempting to dropkick a boulder at the said pokemon, he dropped the rock on his foot and broke a nail.

"I'm not going to question why you thought a _pebble_ would harm me." Nova scoffed, lighting the Pikachu on fire.

"Well, Fletchinder do have a double weakness to Rock, after all." Grant, always the smarty-pants. "They also have a double resistance to Grass."

"Mantine suck!" Jay put in helpfully, poking a stick with Roman. Yes, I said that right. "Now are we gonna do another quest thingy?" She randomly punched Roman into the wall again. "…That was me abusing my power. Muahaha!"

I facepalmed again and headed to the bulletin board. _Help! My precious little sugar cakes honeybun has lost her way around the dungeon! Please find her. She is just a little Sentret!_

WHERE ARE MY LINE BREAKS

"Who are you?" the mother of the lost Sentret shrieked, whipping around and slamming Jay into a wall. "Are you the team going in for my little pouch-meister? Ooh well! Who are you?"

"I'm ADHD, have PTSD, autism, ADD, writers block, and diarrhea." the Pikachu proudly said, puffing his chest out and grossing everybody out.

"That's nice. And can I just say, TMI? Roman, you haven't even been diagnosed, have you?"

"Actually, I've only been diagnosed with delusions."

"Annnnnd, I'm back! We are here this lovely evening~"

"Jay, it's ten AM."

"Ahem. We are here this lovely evening to bring you _your early Christmas presents_! Yes folks, Easter has come early this year, because Thanksgiving decided that Halloween was too greedy and that April Fool's Day should share its toys."

"Jay, she only wants your name."

"I'm happy when you're happy, I'm angry when you're angry, and I'm _downright psychopathic_ whenever the heck I want to be."

"So…" The mother Sentret was clearly freaked out by this crap mystery dungeons team. "Who are you?"

"Aegothis. Got a nail file handy? Kill me now."

 **A few important things. First, my writing time is ½ved this week because of a volunteer thing in the mornings. Second, huge huge huge writers block on FBYLtF. Third, REVIEW or I will send a raging Tyranitar after you. With a Dragonite as air support.**


	12. Explosions

**I have the day off, so I think I'll give you all a PMD chapter.**

 **Dranicus101: Yep, spot on. And… drumroll please… welcome my Tyranitar army! *shows bundle of Larvitars***

 **Trivia rewards- any quote, joke, or idea you want in the story. Trivia: This country 'exploded' the largest between Java and Sumatra in 1883. What is it?**

"I… I don't even…"

"What did you say?" asked Roman. "I thought you said… um…"

"Did you just say 'I thought you said' to me?" I snapped back.

"I thought you said 'I thought you said' 'I thought you said'… wait, I forgot what you said." the Pikachu said, frowning.

"Who cares? We're on a mission, remember? We got to find a Sentret… thing. Yeah."

"Noooo! I don' wanna die! Leave me alone!" Roman wailed, pulling out a boombox and playing children's songs.

"Were you just dancing to 'Mary had a Little Mareep'?" Grant asked, eye scale raised.

"I am _so_ obnoxiously writing this down as blackmail material!" the Grovyle cheered, scribbling down a picture of mashed potatoes and tomato sauce.

"Hey guys…" I said, frozen in fear. "Was there a rouge pokemon causing trouble again here?" The rest of the team shook their heads. "Crap." Before us lay a mountain of unconscious pokemon, on it laying a grinning silver pokemon. Various magnets and screws were stuck to it, and I backed up.

"Ooh! More challengers to beat into the ground! Welcome, welcome all! Three on one? Very well!" the Magnet Pokemon cheered, electrifying the ground below us. Grant charged forwards in a Quick Attack, only to get zapped by a quick Thunder Shock. The silver pokemon locked onto him with a beeping noise.

"Nooohooohoo!" Roman cried, leaping valiantly away from the incoming attack. "Wait." He then jumped on Grant, bouncing off into a pathetic heap on the ground. The Magneton stared for a few long seconds before firing a cannon-like electric blast of extreme power and deathiness at Grant. There was silence for a long, long time. "Quick! What's the number for 9-1-1?" the Pikachu asked, picking up a rock and making _beep beep_ noises as he pushed invisible buttons.

" _Power_!" came a voice from the left, crashing into the surprised Magneton and hugging it. "Ooh, and a Pikachu! Great things are coming to this world… heh heh heh…" The newcomer, a white pokemon with a black scythe-like blade on his head and a crazed look in his eyes. "Look! A perfect time to have my latest invention…" The pokemon pulled out a tube like thing with a bowl shape on the end. "Behold… the Power Sucking Electric Nullifying Lightning Rod Absorbing Vacuum Suctioning Item of Doom!"

"What?" Grant asked, entering the room. "Oh hey- I see you found my substitute. Um…" the Grovyle backed off under the combined weight of our stares.

"Mission success!" the odd pokemon cried, holding a fainted Magneton with his odd invention sparking with electricity. "Now for you…" he turned his gaze on Roman.

"You know what; I'm going to um… I forgot to pay off our mortgage?" he suggested, giving a Mareepish grin. The white pokemon gave a demented grin, raising the machine threateningly. "I… er… forgot to feed my pet Sharpedo?" The grin stretched wider. "Okay bye!" Roman shoved Grant out of the way and both pokemon ran, leaving me to pick up the spoils of the fight- not really anything good.

Ω

"What… just… happened?" Nova asked, folding her wings to glare at the psychotic pokemon. After singeing the white pokemon's fur, he had agreed to stop chasing Roman, indiscreetly fingering the weapon… thing. "And who in Arceus are you?"

"Dust the Absol, sir," the Disaster Pokemon stated, barely dodging the fireball that followed, "I really don't know where I am." Pulling out another machine, the electric sucking tube was plugged in, charging the larger one. Both began to flash and glow.

"Um, do you think we should move?" I asked nervously, inching away.

"Nah," Dust replied, a crazy grin firmly in place on his face, "I have worked on this baby for too long? It certainly won't malfunction and it _certainly_ won't blow u-"There was a blast of compressed air and machine parts went flying as it blew up.

"I hate my life," I sighed, ducking a shard of metal.


	13. Why Me?

**Guess where I'm writing this from- King's Dominion! Too bad it is such a humid day, but I also got a good number of new jokes!**

 **Dranicus101: (Aegothis speaking) I'm going to find a way to keep Dust locked up, if I don't die doing it.**

 **Static: Y'know, I think I just realized that Team Rising Stars (or rather 'Destroy Everything in Sight') never rescued the Sentret.**

 **The answer to last week's Trivia- Krakatoa. The reason that was the trivia was because the chapter was titled 'Explosions', and Krakatoa is a volcano that erupted.**

 **Trivia: Seeing as I'm at King's Dominion, what breed of dog is Snoopy?**

 **ONTO THE CHAPTER!**

OoOoO

"So… we never did rescue the Sentret, did we?" I asked suddenly, jumping to my feet. "Oh great, now we have to go back in." Eclipse snorted, ducking a bolt of lightning coming his way. Somewhere far away, Dust could be heard shouting. "Who's with me?"

Jay jumped up, running over to the Absol and Pikachu, plucking said Absol into the air and tossing him deeper into the dungeon. I sighed and followed the two pokemon, kicking rocks in their direction.

OoOoOoO

"Is that who we're supposed to rescue?" Dust asked, staring up at the extremely tall Furret that was busy clearing out the floor. "I really don't want to drag it back." The Furret turned towards us and smiled happily.

"Hey, um, I'd be glad to arrange your funerals," I began, talking to my team, "what kind of wood would you like for your coffins? Pine wood? Oak wood? Cherry wood?" Jay's eyes lit up.

"Ooh, cherry wood? How about watermelon wood? Or how about making it out of strawberry wood? I love strawberries!" she cheered, causing a mass facepalm.

"Hello, little children! Are you here to take me back _home_?" Her tone remained oddly cheerful. "I'd love to go back _home_ , but of course, you can't make me go _home!_ I, Furret, am the most powerful pokemon in the world!"

"Forget crazy, she's downright psychotic! Even more so than me! And that's _not_ allowed!" Dust said, running up and poking the Furret in the face. She let out a great cry and fell down, clutching her 'injured' face.

"This is insane," I sighed, slowly dragging the Furret out of the Mystery Dungeon.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Gasp! Is that my precious child? Thank you, Snivy and Pignite!" the mother Sentret gasped, paws on her face. Jay looked from one pokemon to another.

"How did you ever give bir~ err, never mind, don't answer that. Where's our reward?" she asked rudely.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Dust complained, pulling a machine out of his fur.

"Nah, a liver has a use. You can be a spleen." I grumbled back. The Absol's red eyes narrowed as he dramatically lifted up his creation.

"Behold… the _**Super Awesome Cool Amazing Wondrous Sweet Grand Great Good Machine of Rainbow Sparkles and Fluffy Unicorns!**_ _"_ he roared, activating the machine and creating a rainbow with Rapidash and Keldeo dancing on it. There was silence for a long, long, time. "Err… wrong one."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"All must bow for the one and only… Radical Roman!" a certain Pikachu yelled, striding into the main cave with a ridiculous flower crown on his head and flower bracelets.

"That sounds like some stupid rap name." Grant snorted, rolling his eyes and shrugging at the same time and looking rather stupid.

"Oh yeah, I can totally rap! Listen to this- y'all never go to the mall, they'll gyp you out of a good football. Maybe try a horse stall, they always welcome all if you give them a good duck call," the idiotic Pikachu sang.

"That's not rapping, that's just saying random words to a bad tune."

"Verse two!" Roman said, completely ignoring my previous statement. "Go to the park, look in the pond and hark; if the Growlithe see you they'll bark! If you don't see the mark, then it's most definitely not Tony Stark!"

"Make… it… stop!" Nova squawked, flying away and out of the cave.

"My poor ears…" Eclipse moaned, clutching said appendages.

"Verse three!" Roman continued. "Never start to boast, then your mom'll never make you a perfect crown roast, shell just be a bad host and look like she's seen a ghost, then she'll ship you off to the coast to learn how to make toast, and… um… what was I saying again? Oh yeah… _**Mazda is in da house**_!"

This last statement caused a bunch of rocks to fall and block all possible exits. "My logic states that to get out, we'll need a high pressured water blast. Or just have Dust blow up the rocks, but then we run the risk of having the cave collapse on us."

"High pressured water blast, eh? Alright then!" Eclipse cheered, pulling out a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew and shaking it rapidly. The soda fizzed out of the bottle and slammed into all of the rocks somehow, causing them to magically disappear.

"I really, really hate logic."

… **I have no witty comment to say here.**


	14. Insanity Ensues

**Just gonna put this out there, my August schedule is going to be hectic. I will try to upload at a normal speed, however.**

 **SunnySummer77: You are correct :D**

 **Dranicus101: Well yeah they forgot; they're team 'What was I doing again? Oh, I forgot, so I'll go run into this wall because it's fun!' XD**

 **I guess every 7** **th** **chapter is going to be a randomness chapter.**

 **I don't own Pokemon or any of the fast-food chains mentioned.**

OoO 3rd person POV

"To follow the sacred Way of Sub, you must first find the legendary Bell of Taco, which lies in the paws of the king of Burgers and the Queen of Dairy. They live in the Hut of Pizza, and the Bell of Taco is kept in the Creamery of Cold Stones." Roman's eyes opened as he stood up and dramatically raised a fist, falling off of the stick he'd been balancing on and falling down six hundred feet. The rest of the team looked down at him, supremely unconcerned.

Two hours later, the Pikachu climbed back up, huffing and puffing. "We must quest for the Bell of Taco!" said he, puffing his chest out and flexing nonexistent muscles once more. "What's that voice in the clouds?" he asked, looking up. Oh yes, I am your narrator for this chapter. I narrate. The rest of the team looked up, unconcerned. "Well whatever! We have to go now or I'll go by myself and stand like this!" _It's my job to narrate, got it?_ _ **Stop taking my job you little blood sucking leech or I'll fly into a homicidal rage and leave you in here for the Zubat! Got it?**_ Good. Anyways, where were we?

"You were… not killing us?" Eclipse asked with a Mareepish grin on his face.

"I don't think you can find Zubat here, miss… mister… it… narrator." said Aegothis, snout buried in a book named Sanity for Dummies. You're kidding, right Snivy? You can find Zubat anywhere. _Anywhere._ "Right."

Go on a quest. It's literally the only interesting thing to do right now. "Well, we could terrorize the villagers." Jay suggested, hanging from the ceiling and sporting plastic fangs. _**No! You listen to me you useless Sunkern, because I'm feeling very genocidal right now! Got it?**_ "Right."

So the… um… hold on a second, one, two three four, red fish blue fish one fish two fish… erm, never mind. The questers wandered to the Hut of Pizza, which really was the Pokemon Paradise of Doom, Destruction, and Desolation, seeking out the King of Burgers and Queen of Dairy.

"Hey what're you doing, little guy?" Grant asked a Vanilluxe gasping for help. "Wait, you're the Queen of Dairy, right?" No duh, I swear everyone in this place is an idiot. No wonder I don't have any friends. "You want us to help you?"

"Too bad! We're on a quest to take your Bell of Tacos!" Jay announced puffing her chest out. The Vanilluxe gave them a 'no, really' look and blasted them all with a blast of icy cold, knocking them all out.

Two seconds later, the crew reappeared from behind a rock. "Boy, thank Arceus for the story being incomplete so that we could respawn." Dust remarked as he leveled a machine at the Vanilluxe. "Blah blah blah, prepare to die!" the machine began to glow… before blowing up again and knocking everyone out.

Two seconds later, the crew reappeared again. "This is why I need a better energy source." The Disaster Pokemon sighed at the Pignite next to him melted the Vanilluxe before casually walking past. _Stooooop!_ Stop you infernal Pignite! You're an offense! You just walking is an offense! The Pignite kept walking. _**Gahhh! I will commit omnicide by employing Dust if you keep this up**_!

"Okay." she said, breaking into a run. Loopholes, loopholes.

The crew didn't run into the King of burgers, nor did they ever find the Bell of Tacos, but as they returned to their cave, they all decided to never be sad again. "Aegothis, tell Eclipse to give me back my iPod!" Roman whined. Alright, scratch what I said earlier.

"Nooo! Where's a Verizon Wireless store when you need one?" Dust raged, stomping on his phone. Suddenly there was a far-off cry.

"Nooooo!" a tall green pokemon wailed, falling to the ground in a heap. "You'll never catch me alive!" Opening orange-red eyes, the pokemon rose up to her full height. "I, the great narrator, shall keep my position… by fighting you all!"

"Yeah, whatever!" Nova called, flying in from somewhere and nimbly attacking the pokemon, dealing a massive amount of damage and fainting her. "Buh bye!" she chirped, flying out again.

"I… am… _sick_ of the **crap** you put me through!" Aegothis roared. Aegothis is reacting to authoress's Mega Bracelet! Aegothis Mega Evolved into Sanity Warrior! Wait… no, he just evolved into Servine. A twister of leaves encircled the entire cave, attacking everyone inside of it. A wave of rage and frustration zoomed out from the Servine, creating an earthquake that knocked out every pokemon… except Aegothis, of course.

"Much better." Aegothis continued reading his book.

 **OoO**

 **Here's the deal for Versus chapters- I'll get 6 pokemon from a random generator, and you vote on the poll for the 2 that you want. I figure I have enough readers to make it work.**


	15. What is Life?

**Static: YOU FORGOT THE QUEEN OF DAIRY! XD Thanks so much for your review.**

 **I'm not lazy, I procrastinate!**

 **Question of the day: Does anyone else think that Dratini sounds like a gourmet pasta? Or am I just weird like that?**

 **Still don't own pokemon… duh**

 **OoO**

"It's ho-la, like saying Ho-oh!" Roman shouted across the cave.

"It's oh-la!" Grant shouted back.

"Ho-la!"

"Oh-la!"

"I'm a skilled languageologist!"

"…Do you mean _linguist_?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

" _ **I give up**_!"

The Pikachu fist-pumped in triumph, backflipping and breaking his neck. Two seconds later, he reappeared from behind a rock. "So what's happening today?"

"I know! I know! Let's go rob a bank!" Eclipse cheered, jumping around the cavern. Virizion, who was in the corner scowled and used Sacred Sword on him, "You know what, let's not, actually."

" **I believe I can flyyyy! I believe I can touch the skaaahhhhh!"** Two seconds later (again), a Pignite appeared from the crater that she had caused.

"I sense a disaster approaching!" Dust said, popping out from hyperspace… or something. Three seconds later (Ha! I have conquered you, oh evil two seconds!), the machine he had been holding jumped off of his horn and began throwing bombs into the air.

"Run away!" I cried; turning and tripping over my own clumsy feet. Gotta get used to this new Servine form.

"Hypnosis!" Virizion cried, concentrating on… nothing. A bomb hit me, throwing me into unconsciousness. "Hah!" She actually thought that she had done it.

 **3** **rd** **person POV**

"Comne on, Ae! Wake up and smell the coffee!" Grant hissed through clenched teeth. "Youre my only lifeline to sanity right now!"

"Sanity? Where we're going, we don't _need_ sanity!" Roman shouted, dumping several gallons of coffee down the Servine's throat. "Oops. I thought that since most of your taste comes from smelling things…" Grant turned on him.

"Quick Roman! Say something! That sounded somewhat smart!"

"…Philly cheesesteaks?"

"Nevermind." the Grovyle said, slumping down in his seat. "We should actually go do a mission."

OoOOoO

"Danananana Batman!" Virizion sang inside the deeper part of the cave, in a mixture of the Jaws and Batman song. "Dang those potato skins! I _told_ them not to run off! We need to switch dungeons before my sweet little fruit cakes can escape!"

"Ladies and gentlemon, this is the second Legendary member of the Swords of Justice." Grant deadpanned; facepalming into a wall.

OoOoO

"Welcome to the Desolate Canyon, a place of desolation and… desolate dust… and stuff." The Staraptor that had been narrating screeched and flew away as Roman Thunder shocked him. "Buh-bye!"

Desolate Canyon was pretty dang cool. Despite the name, there was green moss creeping over stone walls and rocks, wild pokemon hanging around doing nothing like slamming into walls and bashing rocks over their heads. Absolutely nothing, just like I said. "Oh hello! Welcome to Desolate Canyon… or whatever can be said about it. Forgive me for asking, but aren't exploration teams usually ah… under four members?" A Blitzle trotted up, looking over the fainted Servine, the larger Pignite, the Pikachu that was currently attempting to shave using his fingernails, an Absol that was tinkering with an invention, the Grovyle that was currently banging his head into a wall, and the largest green pokemon that was ranting about the evil of Sinnohan accents.

"You know what? We're really just here to switch dungeons. So shut up or I'll bash your face in."

"And eviscerate you with a toothpick."

"You know what, I'm going to see if I can find some bleach." the Blitzle decided, trotting away.

OoOoO

"Hihihihihi! I'm Sparky! Who're you? Are you here to destroy our home and faint or kill us all? Will you burn it to the ground? Bury us in the air? Tellmetellme!"

"You want to know something?" Roman asked kindly. The Emolga nodded. " _ **Run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiives!**_ "

OoO

 **You heard him! Run! It's the Pikachu apocalypse!**

 **Anyways, I'm running off of Google and Bulbapedia. Don't kill me, please.**

 **AIR STRIKE!**


	16. Pocket Dimensions

Sorry for the late chapter.

 **Guest: Are you saying that I have to swear in order for the story to be 'good'? In whose eyes? Yours or mine?**

 **Eater of Souls: I can tell :P**

 **Dranicus101: Ice cream? Huh. I always thought that 'druh-tee-knee' (even though that is not proper pronunciation) sounded like pasta. PASTAAAAA!**

 **QOTD: If you could bring ANY Legendary or pseudo into reality, which would it be?**

 **OoO**

"Where'd the marbles come from?" Virizion asked weakly as one of the said items hit her in the head.

"I lost 'em." Roman said proudly, tapping his head. "Watch, I'll show you a trick." He threw the marble up as though it was a grape and into his mouth, swallowing the marble. The Pikachu's eyes bulged as he started coughing.

"Neat trick!" Ecplise said, clapping politely, unaware that Roman was choking. "Um… you're okay, right?"

Somewhere across the room, a certain Servine let out a muffled scream and used his vines to somehow perform the Heimlich Maneuver on Roman. "Wow, thanks!" he said, getting punched in the face by the Grasslands Pokemon to his left. The Mouse Pokemon's ears drooped. "I need better friends."

OoOoO

"And then I was like, ohmygosh, really? And she was like, ya really! And then we were like ya ohmygosh really and then… she said, like, what _ever_ ," the Emolga chatted next to them, appearing out of thin air. "Oh hi there, how are you doing?" she asked, very fast.

The exploration team, who consisted of Dust, Jay, Eclipse, and Virizion, stared. "Oh, you're probably, like, what the heck just, like, no way! Way!" There was a thump as Virizion fell to the ground.

"Forget the others, we have a _valley girl_ Emolga on our hands." She groaned, burying her face in her paws and disappearing into thin air. The Emolga blinked.

"Well, like, I guess, I'll be going like, now?" She flew away and smacked into a wall. A "like, ow." could be heard clearly.

OoO

"I don't like this." the Pignite said, peering around a corner. There were several Croagunk, Blitzle, Vullaby, Litwick, Archen, Petlil, Foongus, and Klang in each dungeon floor. The only pokemon that were a problem was the Vullaby and Archen, who liked their sneak attacks. "This can't get any worse from here on out."

"Never fear, the Radical Roman is _back_ again once again, bringing you more of his awesome rap skills!" the Pikachu cheered, dropping in from the ceiling wearing a Pikachu Pop Star costume.

"Why do people fall from the sky? Are there free donuts or something?" Dust demanded, before seeing what Roman was wearing. "Why are you wearing a pink dress?"

"I am wearing cucumbers on my head!" Jay interjected.

"Tomatos are fruit yo, everyone knows that, but what about a fruit Zubat, maybe it used bananas for a mat, and invites rat…atta to come in and wreck the place while getting extremely drunk and throw each other on pillows while singing pirate songs for the rest of their life…" Roman's extremely bad 'singing' scared away all of the native pokemon, and he continued. "You know that Grass types are crap defensively and that Electric types are so much better, yo! Electric pokemon have no weaknesses with Magnet Rise, yo~"

"That does not even rhyme, that's just putting 'yo' at the end to make it sound better and to act like an idiotic tail." the Pignite spat at him, punching him into the nearest wall.

"I know that you know that Dust knows that I know that you know that I know that you are an idiot." said Roman proudly, puffing out his chest and reemerging from the wall in his normal attire and striking about fifty different poses. "Mother of Mew, I don't have any clothes on!"

"Pokemon don't wear clothes." Dust reminded him.

"Oh yeah. I guess I'm too sexy for my shirt."

"Never, ever put those words together again." Both of his companions turned towards him and linked paws… things. "Team Attack!"

OoOoO

"What was that?" a random Klang asked, staring at the Pikachu flying across the room. "Darned exploration teams…"

OoOoO

"Nonono. What if they have some kind of pocket portals or pocket dimensions or something awesome like that?"

"Yes," Dust said, nodding his head wisely. "they're called 'plot holes'."

 **OoO**

 **My answer to the QOTD would be Rayquaza, totally.**


	17. PokePuns

**Thank you all for the support, means a lot to me! :D**

 **Static: You're not behind anymore! You updated! ;)**

 **Dranicus101: I think that's where he got the idea. However, none of the others wanted to battle him.**

 **Sunny: *falls though plot hole***

 **Trivia/Question of the Day: Which Eeveelution is your favorite?**

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon Mystery Dungeon or half of the puns in here.

"This is Onixepptable!" Roman snarled, kicking rocks at Team Alpha. "You have no right to come here! This is... uh, private property!" The Quilava leader held up a search warrant. "Oh." A jet of flame incinerated the paper, while the Flaafy behind him produced about 50 quintillion more copies. "Well..." The Pikachu generated a yellow ball of electricity, destroying all of the papers... somehow.

The Lucario fired off a blast of water at Roman who began to flail around on some random carpet that appeared. "Quick Roman, stop drop and roll!"

"Okay!" Roman then began to roll around on the carpet uselessly, splashing water everywhere. "Muahaha! Basic science, rolling around on carpet! Now I have a huge electric charge!"

"But... you're covered in water." Roman used a Thundershock, electrocuting himself and doing exactly no damage to the enemies. "And that's why you listen to me." Roman scowled.

"Guillotine!" he shouted, using exactly that on the Quilava...somehow.

Grant leaned back, utterly confused. "Ohhkay?"

"Actually, I believe the term in OHKO." Roman said proudly, strutting past. "Do I pay you to judge?"

"Actually, you don't pay me at all." groaned.

"You've got to be skitten meowth!" he sighed.

OoOoO

"Hey guys! Hey guys!" Eclipse shouted, running into Rising Stars HQ (also known as Desolate Canyon 1st floor) "There's a music competition! I can be drums, Roman can be the... uh, rapper, Dust can be piano, Aegothis can be bass,"

"Stop right there!" the Servine snarled, turning and throwing off the bass guitar that had appeared on him for unknown reasons. . "Do it yourself, I'm not joining." Eclipse shrugged and pulled out drums from another improbable location, slinging them over his shoulders. Dust hopped along, dragging a set of harmonicas. "Ha. There is no way that they'll win."

 **1 hour later...**

"We won!" the three exclaimed, trotting back into Rising Stars HQ.

"Wait, what?" half of the pokemon in the cave asked, eyes widening.

"Oh yes, we'll tell you all about it." Roman said with a conspiratorial grin. "The judge was a Donphan in a tree and he kept saying things like "I said what I meant and I meant what I said, a Donphan's honest one-hundred percent!" And then the tree snapped and he fell about 300 feet down a random hill and we stole the prizes and booked it out of there. Look what I got! Shiny!" He held up a Light Ball. Beside him, Dust peered through a Scope Lens.

"Oh Arceus no..." Virizion groaned in the corner. "Maybe you should have given the challengers a second Chansey. To you know, redeem themselves."

"I am most certainly not going to Raichu your eulogy, seeing as there'd be nothing but empty words." said the Grovyle, facepalming. "Actually, empty words are your specialty. Oh, Wynaut?" A Cubone explorer wandered down, smiling blandly.

"I found this humerus," he said, waving the club around. "I am also Seaking the Bell of Taco. Might you know where that item of legendary legendaryness is?" There were coughs and an awkward silence. "Oh... alright then. Farewell." He toddled on past them.

OoOoO

"First rule of insulting someone!" Eclipse listed on floor 3 of Desolate Canyon, flipping several sheets of paper. "First, start by making a derogatory remark of their grandparents and slowly work down from there! Next, make a comment about their figure! Preferably negative! See, watch me." He turned towards a nearby pokemon. "Your grandma could walk faster than you, and I bet she just had hip surgery! Do you even lift, bro? You look like some kind of... oh." The pokemon just so happened to be a Skarmory, and the Steel bird went flying after him, generally beating the crap out of the Zorua. "Ow..."

"There's no Shaymin losing to a Skarmory," Dust said, patting Eclipse on the back. "On the Plusle side..." He pointed to a random pokemon. "Look! Its a Sunkern!" Eclipse turned to him, and if he had an eyebrow, he would have raised it. "Ah, okay, don't Jynx me with anything... I can sense the disaster already..."

 **Team recap for everyone: Aegothis the Servine, Jay the Pignite, Roman the Pikachu, Grant the Grovyle, Eclipse the Zorua, Dust the Absol (with a FF account, hmm hmm) and… Virizion.**

 **Virizion: *uses Sacred Sword***

 **I submit! Anyways, I feel like I left someone out there, so tell me if I did… and next chapter I hope that Umbreon will be appearing! Yeee! Umbreon is my favorite… If you have a name suggestion for him, that'd be great.**


	18. Day of Reckoning

**Hey all! A WEEKEND UPDATE! I WANT TO HEAR YOUR OBNOXIOUS CHEERING NOW! XD The reason I'm writing this now is because I'll be gone (gasp) the 3** **rd** **(or Thursday, whichever day that is) to the next Tuesday, and I'll be spitting out chapters like mad (hopefully) 'till then.**

 **Also. 31 reviews! Seriously WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? Thank you all SO much for your support.**

 **Dranicus101: Actually, I think that they threatened the judges. But shh… Thanks for the names.**

 **Static: I've NEVER heard of someone like that… (note sarcasm) Did you- err, Zephyr come up with that? *wipes tear from eye* Beautiful.**

 **I own nothing but the story.**

 **OoO 3** **rd** **person POV**

"Like, when I told her, she was like, oh my Arceus, no way! And I was like, totally! And then, like…" the Emolga chatted excitedly with the oversized team (everyone) as they headed up the stairs to the eighth floor.

"Your IQ matches your shoe size." hissed an annoyed Grovyle between his teeth, stomping away from her.

"Silly Grant, Pokemon don't wear shoes!" Eclipse corrected cheerfully, bouncing up along the sides.

"I guess that her IQ is nonexistent then!" he retorted. Grant used Will-O-Wisp! Emolga was burned!

OoO

"Oh look, a barrier made of Galvantula silk that's very clearly a trap! What do I do? I know, I'll do the stupidest thing possible and walk right into it! Ooh, shiny!" Jay said, walking straight into the trap. The two Galvantula behind the web stared as the Pignite walked straight into the web. "Oh no! I'm trapped! What ever shall I do? I know, I'll thrash and get even more stuck in the web! That's smart!"

"I'm amazed at your levels of intellect." Aegothis deadpanned.

"What's intellect? That sounds like some sort of special kind of PokePuff!" Roman gasped, licking his lips.

"No! Never again shall I! Give me a pack of double cheese Doritos to go, please. My taco will never surrender! This is what happens when you defy me! Muahaha!" Virizion charged straight into a wall, falling down on her butt. "Ow… look at all of the pretty pretty Torchic…" She slumped down in a dead faint.

Two Venipede charged, their little teeth dripping with a poisonous substance. "Have fun, you guys!" Aegothis said, stepping out of the battle. Dust and Eclipse as well as Grant stepped out, having a weakness to the Venipede's types. Both Jay and Virizion were incapacitated, and it seemed like Roman was the only one who could defeat them. Actually, everyone else probably could, and more efficiently.

"Ha! You're all wimps! I, the mighty Roman, shall abolish these magnificent monsters with my intellectual intellect!" the Pikachu said, tossing away his world atlas and flexing nonexistent muscles. The Venipede on the left threw a glob of raw poison at him, successfully poisoning the Pikachu. "Oh… that's going to leave a mark…" He leapt in the air (don't ask how, it's video game logic) and began to discharge electricity, soaring above the Venipede's heads to attack them. "Using moves that I don't even know, I, the mellifluous Roman, shall send these monstrosities back to the netherworld!" Both Centipede Pokemon fainted because the fact that Pikachu could fly obliterated their tiny brains.

Two Galvantula leapt forwards, shooting webs of electro-electricityness… electric…. Elec- you know what, my 'e' word escapes me, so anyways… Roman got hopelessly tangled up in the web, but absorbed the volts coursing through the web.

 **Roman's POV**

Every nerve in my body felt the power of the web flowing through me, and I saw my body begin to glow brightly.

Thunder Stones are regular stones infused with massive amounts of Electric power, said to be the eggs of Zapdos. Of course, those are all myths, but the point remains, the electricity that the Galvantula kept feeding into the web continued to feed me, and my body started the process of evolution.

 **3** **rd** **person**

The grass and Dark Types on the side felt their eyes widen as Roman evolved into a powerful Raichu, ears standing straight up. "Oh no…" I heard Dust say beside me. "When a Raichu has his ears up, it means that his electrical pouches are fully charged." There was a blinding flash, and all light vanished from the cave. A faint glow emanated from the Raichu, who lit up the place again with a discharge of electricity. All of the enemies were revealed to be fainted.

"So, guys, who wants ice cream?" he asked, a stupid smile on his face.

OoO

"Listen up, recruits!" a random Seel snapped at his 'subordinates', waving a stick around. "Today we start a new world! Today we shape our own lives! Our own… destiny!" The Umbreon in the middle of a crowd of Togepi sighed and raised his paw.

"Excuse me, sir, but don't~" The Seel whipped around and smacked the Umbreon on the head with the stick, which snapped in half.

"Silence, Dusk Shadow! Did I _say_ you could speak?" The Umbreon sighed again, this time louder, and left. The Seel didn't even notice. "As I was saying... today we conquer the world! This is Post Town's day of reckoning!"

OoO

"I spy with my teensy weensy little eye… something green!" said Eclipse to Roman.

"Me." Aegothis responded.

"Darn! How'd you know? You're psychic, I swear!" the Illusion Pokemon groaned.

"Maybe it's because that's, oh, _I don't know_ , the seventh time that you've asked that?"

"Nah, of course not. I spy with my little teensy eye… something black and yellow!" Roman frowned. "Oh look, it's coming closer! I wonder what it could possibly be!" Dusk Shadow collided with the Raichu and stopped.

"My deepest apologies, explorer. I was just Seaking sanctuary from the evil Seel overlord," he said in a sincere-sounding voice. "I was also looking for my sister, but she's probably long gone by now, so she can wait until an undetermined amount of time."

"Sanctuary? Oh, of course we have sanctuary! What's sanctuary?" he hissed to Virizion, who shoved the Umbreon out of the way to glare daggers at the Seel that was approaching. Literal daggers. The Seel whimpered and fled, making frantic hand signals to his Togepi army. The Spike Ball Pokemon charged down a random hill at the town, causing the wimpy residents to flee in terror.

"Make a defensive line!" Dusk Shadow ordered the team, who jumped to attention. "Defend!" The first line of Togepi stopped suddenly, using Metronome. "What in the…" Multiple pink barriers went up to protect from the Hydro Cannon, Air Slash, Shock Wave, and Needle Arm.

"It's hopeless…" Roman said, eyes widening. "Even our team Attack alone won't take them out… what can we do?" The second wave of Metronome attacks smashed into the barriers that Dusk Shadow put up, blocking the Explosion and Blast Burn as well as the Forest's Curse and Disarming Voice. The rest of attacks weren't as harmful.

"Whatever you do, do it soon! I can't hold this Protect up for much longer!" Dusk Shadow said in desperation, obviously straining hard to keep them up.

"What if we join in your team attack?" a new, unfamiliar voice asked.

OoO

 **I need OCs for Team Solar Eclipse. Accepting Ghost, Dark, Electric, Flying, Ice, Fire, and Dragon Types. Dual types accepted, as long as it gets past my Pickiness test. Seriously, SEND THEM IN! Feel free to send in as many as you want, only be warned that not all of them have a guaranteed acceptance.  
**

 **Vote on the Poll, please!**


	19. Friendship Is Not Magic

Before the team stood a tall Infernape, a grim smile on his face. Behind him stood a Weavile, a Pawniard, and towering over them was... Yveltal? The Infernape laid eyes on Grant and only had time to say "Oh-" before the Weavile and Grovyle went at it. The Legendary behind them grinned, looking at his team leader.

"Who are these? Are they friends? Can I steal their souls? Can I? Can I?" He hovered over Aegothis, who nervously moved away. "Have a Cheeto! You don't want it? Well too bad!" The Dark type shoved it down the Servine's throat. "Was it good? Can I steal your soul?"

On the other side of them, the Weavile was pinned to the ground, three leaf blades at his throat. "Okay, okay, fine! You win!" The leaf blades retreated, and the other Dark type leapt up, kicking back the Grass type. "Can't believe you fell for that again! Can't you learn strategy?"

"Shut up!" the Infernape roared, breathing fire on the two members of his team. The Pawniard backed him up loyally. "You two are insufferable! Why did I take you in again? Gaah!" He punched the ground, leaving a fair sized dent in the ground.

"Because you wuv us!" Yveltal said, grinning.

Aegothis nodded appreciatively. "We should hang out sometime." Bane the Weavile, behind them all, fired off an Ice Shard at Grant and missed, hitting Roman instead.

"Hey! That's against the rules!" Roman shouted at the approaching army and at Bane, opening up a football play book. "See, fifty-nine goes left, quarterback hikes to forty-seven, oh wait a 'sec." He leafed through more pages. "Here: Rule number 3,838. No 'mon with the letter 't' in their name may attack a Pikachu- um, Raichu!" Grant looked over and stabbed the Electric pokemon with his leaf blades.

"I have an idea!" Virizion said unusually excitedly, perking up.

"Hit me with them," Dusk Shadow said, throwing up another Protect. Virizion jumped up and summoned a sword, stabbing the Umbreon with a Sacred Sword. Dusk Shadow lost his concentration and the barriers flickered, letting through a Bubblebeam, Twineedle, Aerial Ace, and Hyper Beam. "What in the name of Arceus's many names was that?"

"You did tell me to hit you with them!" the Grassland Pokemon offered, eyes wide and blinking innocently.

"For the Interregional Association of Galactic Pies and Other Assorted Baked Goods!" Jay cried, throwing herself into the battle. A Togepi jumped into the air and used a Metronome, coming down on the Pignite's head in an almighty Giga Impact.

"I got this!" Yveltal said, picking up a Pawniard in each paw... wing... thing. Aegothis perked up at the almost-sound of his name, only to slump down again. "Sky head attack!" There were many odd looks for that. "Um... Iron Attack?" The three Pokemon spiraled into the sky, the Destruction Pokemon becoming cloaked in a bright white night light. Or something. The Pawniard were released like aircraft missiles, glowing brightly while using Iron Head. A few Togepi went down easily.

Virizion winced. "Arceus, I'm glad that Togepi are Fairies this year..." she mumbled.

"Popcorn anyone?" Eclipse offered, the Zorua passing around a bucket of said item. A single speck of a part of a popcorn kernel flew away on feathery Zubat wings and hit a random Spike Ball Pokemon, causing it to transform into an Espeon.

"Curses! You have fouled my meaningful plans of exponents and variables! Minions! Attack at once!" she shrieked, waving around a 'Togepi R # 1' foam glove.

"Okay, okay! How does this Team Attack thing work?" Aegothis asked desperately, watching the Togepi army descend upon the two teams. "Do we have to use the power of friendship or something? Friendship is Magic, right?" Behind him, Bane innocently tripped Roman as he was walking by.

"Actually, we just need to hold hands and shout 'Team Attack' or something." The Infernape grabbed his teams' hands or wings or wings or blades or whatever, and connected with Rising Stars. "I guess we're a team now."

"That's right! And you want to know something? We're an awesome team! And we stick together! We'll take care of each other in times of desperate peril! We'll never run from an enemy!" Dust cried courageously. A Kangaskhan appeared in the distance, and both Roman and Eclipse panicked and ran. "Roman! Eclipse! Act your age!"

"Okay!" they said in unison, falling to the ground and beginning to cry.

Aegothis groaned loudly. "By the Legendary, we're dead." Leaves began to swirl around him, and he sent them to attack the oncoming pokemon.

Both Pawniard went to retrieve the Raichu and Zorua, dragging them back to the circle. A Togepi latched onto them, and Jay punched it off. Everyone took a deep breath. "Team Attack!" Blinding light exploded from the circle, and the world turned to white.

OoO

Somewhere in the Distortion World, Giratina was laughing hysterically. "Palkia! Dialga! Come here!"

Somewhere off to the left, Dialga ran into the 'room', crying. "Tell Palkia to give me my teddy bears back!" He left again. Five seconds later, Palkia chased him, waving around a pair of safety scissors. Giratina groaned. "I'm a failure at life."


	20. Silence is Bliss

**Dranicus101: (last chapter) Thanks. I'm sure that you've** _ **never**_ **heard of that Yveltal before…**

 **Static: (two chapters ago) You got your wish! (Last chapter) Why thank you. I liked that last part too.**

 **Moonless: (two chapters ago) Thank you! *bows***

 **I don't own Pokemon or Go Fish.**

 **OoO**

"Hiyah!" Eclipse flung a spear at the last Togepi, which missed terribly. Instead, it bounced off of a cloud, two rocks, the ground, the, Togepi's shell, before finally smacking the Spike Ball Pokemon away with the blunt side. "Wow. I thought that only worked in movies."

"I don't think that we're in Desolate Canyon anymore, Dusk…" the Espeon groaned, sitting up.

"Dawn Light." Dusk Shadow said simply, as if they'd met in a grocery store. "Actually, I don't think we're anywhere near Post Town right now." The entire team (plus the random Togepi and Espeon) had been Teleported to a desert. "Why do deserts have to be so bare?"

"Deserts, like, aren't bare, silly! They're, like, full of sand!" The Emolga had apparently traveled along with them. Half of the team shrieked and fell to the ground; while the other half turned death glares on her. She continued chattering obliviously. "Like, is that the Mirage Tower, like, in the distance? No way!"

"Are you serious?" Aegothis deadpanned. "I think you've gotten even more ridiculous since we saw you last. Or, heard you last."

"No silly, like, my name is, like, um, Scorch!" she said, despite the death glares turning to confused stares. "Now, are we going into the Mirage Tower? Come on, it's right there!"

OoO

"I hate these pokemon." Surprisingly, Aegothis did not keep chanting it as the team walked through the cluttered floors. It was actually a certain Pignite. "I hate these Ground types."

"Hate is a strong word, young padawan." Virizion lectured, waving a paw in her face.

"What the~" Everyone's attention was now on the brightly colored unicorn that had just passed through. "What is a legendary doing here?" Keldeo grinned nervously and shot off.

"Oh yeah, like, the Legends hold polka parties here, like, every month or something. No way, right? Like, whatever! Come on!" Scorch informed them helpfully.

"And you're not surprised… at all?" Roman asked, singlepawedly knocking out a Sandshrew with the power or speech, or some kind of absurd power that very obviously does not exist unless you have a really obnoxious voice or something.

Two seconds later, a water vapor can sprayed the entire team except for Dusk Shadow, who clapped a water filter offer his face. His sister, Dawn Light, looked at him, confused. "That's not going to work, you know." As soon as she said that, her eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed.

"Hey look, a bush that has flowers on it! Pink flowers, too! Pretty in pink!" Eclipse cheered like a little five-year old girl. "I wonder where it got the water to blossom… man; I wish I had some water right now." The bush lurched and 'unfurled', revealing a short- actually, tiny, white pokemon that staggered around drunkenly.

"Your granted is wish!" Shaymin slurred, casting a Healing Wish and fainting. There was an awkward silence.

"I'm just waiting for Roman to make some obnoxious comment right now." Grant looked around for the Raichu. "Roman? _Roman?"_

 **Somewhere you shall never know… or something**

"Any last words?" Bane laughed, holding an Ice Shard dagger in his paws. Roman thought for a second, before snapping the ropes binding him and leaping onto the chair. "What the…" The Raichu winked, before beginning to belt out the ABC song at the top of his lungs.

"Finish him!" Yveltal roared, juggling flaming Emolga for unknown reasons. The Infernape groaned in unison with the Pawniard.

"The story hasn't reached 1,000 views yet, so technically he can't die yet."

"Stop breaking the fourth wall!" Bane shouted, hurling his weapon at the team leader. Unsurprisingly, the Ice type attack did absolutely nothing to him, but that's beside the point.

A shadowy portal appeared in the wall of the unknown place, and an eighteen foot pokemon came barreling out, holding a teddy bear and wailing. Several seconds past, and then a fourteen foot pokemon chased him, waving around safety scissors. "Come back here!" the smaller one shouted, creating a spatial rend in the very fabric of reality and appearing in front of Dialga.

"Mr. Snuggleface says no!" the Temporal Pokemon shouted back, stopping time and racing past his counterpart. Time resumed like normal. Several more seconds passed, and Giratina, in his Origin Forme, came out of the Distortion World, raging about missing a polka party. The Portal closed as the Renegade Pokemon crashed out of sight. Everyone was very, very still.

"Was that normal?" Yveltal asked.

"No. _That_ never happened."

 **Back with the Failing Stars**

"I'm not stupid! I know Pignite Latin and Tepigpen Code!" snapped Jay to Aegothis, despite the fact that the Servine had said nothing to her. "Hey, wait a 'sec, where's Roman?"

"Take a wild guess." Dust grunted. The Pignite stared at him. "It's about a half a mile away from a Wild Goose Chase." The Team continued in silence, oblivious to Roman reappearing in a flash or sparkles and fish-shaped bubbles.

"Look look look what I got! I got manly soup, for men!" he cheered, apparently not perturbed that he had gone missing.

"Oh, so you can't have it." Apparently, his team wasn't very perturbed either.

"Ooh! Look what I found!" Eclipse said, waving around a protractor. "I bet that I could stab someone with this… if I ever come screaming and waving around this, please know what to think."

"That we need to see it from another angle?" snarked Virizion.

"Lighten up, Virizion. You need to go to a heavy metal concert someday. I know… how about Go Fish?" A Sandshrew that had been by Roman when he said that executed a perfect spit-take when he tried the soup, either from the terrible taste or the idea of Go Fish being a heavy metal band. "What is heavy metal, anyways, a weightlifting contest? Hey mister Sandslash over there! "What's heavy metal?"

"I'm a Sawsbuck with no sense of decency or respect, not this silly 'Sandslash' you speak of. What is that anyways, a special gourmet cheesecake?" it snarled back, completely ignoring the question and used an Earthquake on the Raichu.

OoO

 **Why are they in the Mirage Tower? Don't ask me, I didn't write- well, yes I did, but that's beside the point!**

 **Anyways, next chapter will start the nuzlocke, but this fic will still be the same lighthearted comedy it has always been. I need your input for this though, should we add a randomizer to it?**


	21. Happy, Sad

**Am I for real right now? Two updates in a week? Okay, joking aside, we've reached over 1,000 views. You know what that means. Nuzlocke! But wait, there's more! We are starting a randomizer. (cue evil laugh) We've almost reached 40 reviews, and I'm honored to be the writer of this silly little fic. But guess what, it's the 21** **st** **chapter! Randomnessssss!**

 **IAmShadow: This isn't meant to make sense. Thank you for being somewhat polite in your review though.**

 **Absol in a Tardis: Thank you! I think Dialga will always protect his teddy bears. :D**

 **Dranicus101: This has come a long way, and I hope that it continues for much longer. Thank you for your review!**

 **Trivia: In the Heart Gold game, in what city do you fight Eusine?**

 **I don't own Pokemon or Dora the Explorer.**

 **OoO**

"I… need… water…" Dusk Shadow panted, ears and tail drooping. "Hate… being… black…"

"Lighten up, dumbreon!" a nearby Snorunt grunted, patting itself on the pack for the double pun with nonexistent arms. Dusk's eyes glowed, and two seconds later the Snow Hat Pokemon was tossed into the wall with a blinding flash of ultimate power. The team continued on like nothing had happened.

"Hello, exploration team." The tall, faintly-feline like pokemon floated from the rock wall to land in front of them.

"Woah, how'd you do that? Do you just wait for innocent pokemon to walk by, and then you _trap them to be your immortal servants forever?_ " Jay gasped; eyes wide. Mewtwo stared at her for a few long seconds.

"No, I'm here to warn you. Arceus and Mew, the Legendary that stabilize the world's pokemon appearances, have gone missing. The wild pokemon that appear regularly have been ah, transported to different places. Foul pay has been suspected. Also, Xerneas, the bringer of life, the one that allows pokemon to recover after they have fainted, has gone missing. His power has been chained. From now until you rescue him, pokemon who faint will remain ah, dead. And those who faint during the time that will remain fainted."

"Sorry, all I heard was 'blah blah blah, Arceus and Mew, appositive, and something that sounds suspiciously like a quest." Virizion growled. "Why should they, we, its, whatever, do this?"

"Because I told you, duh." Mewtwo rolled his eyes, as if this answer was obvious. Dusk and Dawn both charged the Genetic Pokemon, who threw up a sturdy psychic wall in front of him. His attackers patiently waited while he recovered from the retching. "Okay, time in. You think that you puny pokemon can stop me?"

"Yes." both Eeveelution siblings said simply. Mewtwo growled.

"Groudon! Cue cards!" Two white business cards were flung out of the ground. Mewtwo read them. "Happy Meals Weight Loss Plan: what the- Groudon! I'm not fat!" The Legendary turned towards the 'mons. "How darest thou! Preparest to die…eth." Both Eeveelutions raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Anyways! Prepare to die!" Mewtwo clapped his paws together and formed a crimson Aura Sphere, firing it at Dusk Shadow. The Umbreon took the attack without flinching. "Oh yeah… that ridiculous special defense. Never mind! If you, heroes decide to take up my quest, you can harness this power!" The Genetic Pokemon raised a small stone about the size of Dawn Light's forehead gem, and his form began to glow.

"What in the name of Arceus is going on?" Aegothis growled, muscles tensed. The other team members evidently decided to take action, because the rest of the team readied themselves into battle stances. "I don't know what you just did, but we can still take you down!" Mewtwo became enclosed in a cocoon or white light. Multicolored swirls of aura and power flowed around him, and cracks appeared in the white light. The new Mewtwo X stepped out, and the Rising Stars shrank back. He raised a paw hand thing.

Dawn Light charged him, forehead jewel beginning to pulse with an unknown power. Her form darted around the sandy room, blurring in and out of sight, before sinking short shards of strange star shaped shrapnel into Mewtwo's chest. (Say that ten times fast, I dare you) The Mega evolution howled, and black tendrils encircled the Espeon's body. The dark power seemed to explode, throwing the Espeon into the wall. The mist evaporated, and the Espeon stayed still. Dawn Light was very clearly gone.

Time seemed to slow down. Mewtwo locked eyes with Virizion and said guiltily; "Oops." He cringed and paused. "Um, Arceus and the others are in the Smoking Mountain. Bye!" He Teleported away.

Dusk Shadow let out a series of words that would not be appropriate for the most hardcore motorcycle group to use.

"Okay, come on. We need to move dungeons. Again." Virizion sighed, dragging the frozen Umbreon with her.

OoO

"Why did we agree to do this again?" a panicked Dust in the Forest Grotto asked, shedding various gears in an attempt to run from the Kabuto chasing him. Eclipse came and knocked it away. "Oh, uh, thanks Eclipse." The Zorua nodded, only to wince at a blinding light that came from the new Kabutops. The Illusion Pokemon puffed out his chest.

"Swiper, no swiping! Swiper no swiping!" The Rock and Water Pokemon cocked its head, before advancing upon the two Dark types. "Why didn't it work?" The two pokemon shrank back, only to feel rock at their backs.

"You have to say it three times, dimwit!" Dust cried, red eyes wide.

"Talk about being stuck between a rock and another rock." Grant waltzed by, draining the Kabutops's energy. It fell to the ground, eyes dimming. The Grovyle waltzed on, apparently not noticing how he looked.

 **OoO**

 **Thus ends the epic chronicle of Dawn Light. We shall remember you forever. );**

 **I just had a thought… in nuzlockes, you 'kill' a lot of pokemon through level grinding and… well, whenever you beat a trainer.**

 **I can almost feel the story inspiration coming on.**

 **raaaagh**


	22. Plot Happening?

**Dranicus101: What would that be? And yes, this nuzlocke will be very fun :D**

 **Static: Hey Swiper, I have some headphones here blasting rock music so that you can't hear Dora screaming at the television. Go ahead… you can't hear the kids saying 'Swiper no swiping' right now! Just give me a quarter of the million…**

 **Was I the only one that forgot that Eclipse was shiny?**

 **I don't own Pokemon, Grant, Dust, Bane, this Yveltal, or Brody. (who remains unnamed :P)**

OoO

"I don't like these pokemon. I think the feeling is mutual." Roman sat up, cracking his head on the wall above him. He was currently being hung upside down courtesy of Virizion. "Owuragh. I don't like this place, either." Dust nodded, knocking back a Larvitar with his horn.

"Where'd Nova go? She'd be very useful here! We need a Fire Type! Jay doesn't count." Eclipse wailed; headbutting a Meganium.

"She went on vacation, away from you. Forever." Dusk Shadow whipped around to glare at the Legendary Grass type who had said that, and turned back to the Wailmer that he was fighting.

"I think that this is our last wave," Grant panted, shoving a Natu Back. Pokemon were flooding from the upper floor and the entrance, with a Honedge and Barbaracle, as well as a Mime Jr. Dusk Shadow moved from the Wailer to switch with Aegothis, who used a Leaf Tornado on the Wailmer. The Water Type didn't even flinch, and trapped the Servine in a Whirlpool.

Eventually the Rising Stars forced back the many pokemon with dire insults to everyone's honor. "Insert dire insult here." Virizion said blankly. The opposing pokemon's leader howled loudly, and three more pokemon shoved their way down from the next floor. The Rising Stars were now trapped on the first floor, the angry Forest Grotto pokemon blocking the exit.

"So… this is farewell, then?" Aegothis asked nervously as a Prinplup and Patrat advanced. Not that those pokemon were dangerous, it was the Haxorus behind them. It roared, and Dust skittered back nervously, before throwing a strange metal object that bounced along the floor. "What…"

"Close your eyes," the Absol said simply, doing so himself. The Patrat picked up the object, and stared directly at it. _Bang_. The flashbang exploded into a blinding… flash, duh, also releasing a deafening noise. When the white light mostly cleared, the team got up, staggering around.

" _ **Why didn't you warn us about the noise?"**_ Eclipse practically screamed, unable to hear himself.

"Oops." Dust said in a normal voice, taking off his headphones, eamuffs, triple hat, and minor protective bubble that was also soundproof. "Hey, it worked, right?" Maybe not quite as much as the Absol had wanted.

A Lucario appeared out of the ground, covering the tunnel he had appeared up out of with Roman. Shoving the Raichu down into the ground, he smoothly stepped out, eyes scanning the team. He opened his mouth, and Grant slammed a fist into his head, knocking the Lucario out. "Nope." The Aura Pokemon fell down into the tunnel again, shoving Roman out and somehow covering the gaping hole in the ground.

Dusk Shadow once again let out a string of curses that would make a death metal band flinch and shy away. "Who was he?" he asked in a more reasonable tone of voice.

The Grovyle winced. "You really don't want to know him. Especially if you're female." After he said that, a low moan came from the angry (and now stunned) pokemon, and he saw a tiny Fennekin lying on the ground, dragging itself towards the team.

"What do we do with um, it?" Aegothis whispered.

"Like, take her in! Like, no way, right? Like like like, um, that Haxorus will, like, knock out her and then she'll be like blaaah and be all dead and stuff. But whatever, since you guys, like don't like me," Scorch flew away, leaving the team to wonder how she acquired that info. (And also where the heck she came from, maybe outer space if that valley-girl accent is- what was I saying again?) I can't call it exposition, since exposition is supposed to be _comprehensive_.

"Yeah, let's go!" Dusk Shadow said, scooping up the Fennekin and dragging the rest of the team up to the second floor.

OoO

"Right, so how is this any safer than the first floor?" Aegothis grumped, glaring daggers at the Absol.

"Simple video game logic- enemies can't follow you up to the next area!" he crowed, not mimicking a Honchrow very well.

"Hey guys?" Jay nervously pointed over to the other side of the room, where a mass of pokemon gathered. There was some hushed whispers, and a Seadra hurried over.

"You're an exploration team, right? Please help us! That Haxorus… along with a strange Ampharos and Hydreigon… they're terrorizing each dungeon with their miniature army of pokemon they've recruited! Please, you need to fight them or gather the forces to do so! And quickly!"

Aegothis stared into the distance, looking far, far older than he was. "Wait… so we need to stop these Dragons, and the only way to do so is by gathering a team powerful enough to stop them." The Water Type nodded.

Off to the side, Roman cackled while setting a picture of Team Alpha on fire. "Oh yes… revenge is best served…"

"Hot?" Dust suggested, holding up a lighter.

"No, you fool! With potatoes!" Roman smushed a pan of baked potatoes in the Absol's face, and then poured a pan of melted butter on top.

The rest of the team stared.

"I need a vacation… I hate my life, I hate most of my team, I hate this dungeon, I hate these pokemon, I hate hats, I hate Pidgey, and I hate Fire types…" Aegothis continued to rant about everything he hated, while Virizion sighed wearily off to the side.

"For once, I agree with you, Servine." Aegothis nodded and continued ranting about Sandile and mechanical pencils.

OoO

 **So yes, we have some plot happening. It's basically a kingdom war- Dragon types and their army versus Aegothis and his team. Why I say 'his' team in the possessive sense, I don't know.**

 **And yes, massive battles will be happening soon.**

 **Review?**


	23. What Just Happened

**That moment when you forget what you were going to say in the AN. Yeah. *dumps ice cream on self***

 **Absol In A Tardis: The first chapter is pretty bad, but feel free to read it. Thanks for the review!**

 **Dranicus101: Plot is not allowed. I like to call it 'Powerful Legendaries Orchestrating Trains'. Flashbangs, yes! That was fun to write, and I blame it on my CoD spree the night before.**

 **Question of the day! What is your favorite pokemon game? (Includes all side games)**

 **OoO**

"This is bad. If the enemy forces reach here," Grant said, tapping a place on his makeshift map of the second floor, "we'll be overrun. So do you know what that means?" He turned towards the team, who were in various poses, including a normal sitting, crumpled in a ball, buried inside a wall, picking their nose, and stuck in the ceiling. "Right. I'll pretend that you cared. Roman, where are you going?" The Raichu in question was leaning out a random 'window' (read: the spot where Virizion had thrown Jay a second ago) with safety goggles.

"Don't worry; I have all of my safety gear!" He waved a pair of safety scissors. "They don't make safety parachutes, so I'll just- ahhhhhh!" He leaned out too far and fell out of the 'window'. Everyone stared awkwardly.

"Hey Dust, there's a giant Haxorus behind you…" The Absol looked behind himself and stared at the tall Dragon-type before letting out a very feminine scream. "Mommy, I'm scared!" The _real_ pokemon that had screamed was Eclipse, who dived behind a Hawlucha. The Wrestling Pokemon turned its yellow eyes onto the much taller Axe Jaw Pokemon before letting out a horrific screech and picking the Dragon type up and throwing it up into the air. The Fighting type then executed a perfect 16-hit combo in the air.

" _Finish him!"_ Roman roared, throwing paper confetti into the air along with butterscotch for absolutely no reason. How the electric mouse had survived the fall was unknown, but that's aside the point. The Hawlucha clasped both fists together and slammed the Haxorus back down to the ground. The Hawlucha saluted and sank down into the ground, completely out of sight. There was another awkward pause, while Roman decided to learn how to snorkel without safety gear.

" _Woher kommst du?"_ it roared. When there was no response, _"Geh weg! Laß mich in Ruhe!"_

Virizion blinked slowly. "Uh…Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale." The Haxorus stared at her incredulously before speaking in a thick accent a language that they recognized.

"Did you just say _my hovercraft is full of eels?"_

OoO

 **Random Filler chapter**


	24. Once Again, What?

**Dranicus101: Yup, I think that only one or two pokemon will join again (plus the nuzlocke death element) so the number may stay the same… hint hint. And who knows? Roman is an MVP to the story right now, I guess. You'll have to ask the producers of the show.**

 **Static: It does. After a good game, or a character loss (in a fic, *Digital Skitty* *cough cough*) I will feel numb for the next feel hours. Either that or I cry the numbess away.**

 **WHO WANTS MORE DIALGA AND PAKLIA?**

 **I… don't know what happened here. I also don't own anything. I also also don't mean any offense to and British people out there.**

 **OoO**

Giratina was meditating. To be more specific, he was trying to block out the Dialga and Palkia screams. His trainer, a Medicham was perfectly calm. The massive Legendary Pokemon sighed and once again resisted to urge to strangle the Space and Time commanders.

Dialga narrowed his eyes, standing on a tiny toy pirate boat. "Arrgh, mateys! Toodle ho! Land dee! A WILD PALKIA HAS APPEARED! Full speed ahead! Mr. Snuggleface, raise the sails!" he roared in a terrible mixture of pirate speak and British slang. His teddy bear, which was missing his stuffing, wondered what he had gotten himself into. "Bloody aargh! He's gainin' on us!" The Temporal Pokemon glanced behind him.

Giratina could almost feel the veins in his head bulge. "Maybe that's because you're heading at _full speed_ towards him!" Palkia, sitting in an inflatable rubber ducky, turned towards his safety scissors, which were sitting innocently on the ducky's head. How he turned _towards_ the front was unclear, so don't ask.

"You're barmy, mate!" Dialga shouted to Giratina, waving a plastic sword at the Renegade Pokemon. "Blast!" he cried, accidently snapping the sword in two as he flailed around. "Mr. Snuggleface, prepare the cannons!" After waiting a second, in which absolutely nothing happened, he pointed the shards of his plastic sword at the yellow ducky. "Fire!"

Palkia grabbed his safety scissors and waved it over his head, jumping onto Dialga's tiny pirate ship with a loud battle cry. "Blast it all! We've been boarded! Abandon ship! Abandon ship!" The Temporal Pokemon jumped off the boat into a kiddie pool, Palkia following him. Both Legendary then engaged in an epic sword fight.

Giratina ground his nonexistent teeth, changing into his Origin Forme and sending both pokemon to the normal Pokemon World.

 **That was our random fight scene. Now we get to the actual team.**

Three Grass types, Aegothis, Grant, and Virizion carried sharpened spikes to the entrance of the second floor, stupidly sticking the sharpened points into the ground to create a barrier. There was a growl behind them, and the ground broke apart as an Ampharos destroyed the ground. But this was no normal Ampharos… This was a Mega Ampharos!

"Dun dun duuuun!" Roman announced grandly, playing the organ dramatically. The Mega pokemon, furious, now had a fluffy white mane and tail. The tail, which held a large number of glossy red orbs, began to glow, filling up with an electrical charge. "Oh no." Roman gulped, before being blasted back into the wall with an immensely powerful Zap Cannon.

On the other side of the room, the wooden barriers were blasted back by a wave of power, the Hydreigon rising up slowly. Virizion's eyes widened as she leapt into the air, the Brutal Pokemon swooping down to meet the Grasslands Pokemon in midair. In a totally anti-climactic ending, Hydreigon pecked Virizion and she fell to the ground. "Virizion! Nooo!" Dust wailed, throwing mashed potatoes in the air.

The Legendary opened an eye. "Shush, you… thing!" With that, she closed her eyes and vanished in a burst of sparkles and confetti.

Dust stared. "What did she just call me?"

The Ampharos disappeared, as well as the Hydreigon.

OoO

 **Sorry 'bout the short chapter, but… review?**


	25. There Are No Words

**Dranicus101: I feel sorry for Giratina as well. But at least he can get a break once in a while. :D**

 **Raichu of Time: YAY! Thanks for your review!**

 **Moonless Night: Dialga is immature. Understatement of the year. Thanks for your review!**

 **Static Eevee: That's good. I don't think I could've brought you to life again… although Mew might be able to help. :D**

 **OoO**

"Ah, I remember when I was young…" Dust sighed, sporting a white beard and white space helmet for unknown reasons. "I would fall in mud pits and wrestle Dragonite because it was fun… and skydive with no parachute… and deep sea dive with no oxygen tank… ah, those were the days."

To his left say Jay the Pignite, garbed in fancy outfit- a scuba suit with a spaghetti noodle tie. "We are gathered here to celebrate this random Seedot's six-hundredth birthday…" She closed her eyes and innocently dropkicked the tiny seed pokemon away.

To her left stood Roman, who was wearing a dunce cap and was wearing black and white, holding flowers in his paw. "Please welcome your hosts, the bride and groom down the aisle! My ghosts have escaped the basement! Please help me receive my special hat order placement and show me a protractor!"

To _his_ left sat Eclipse, who was juggling sharpened balloons. "My blue monkey is amnesiac with a pet Goldeen with dementia! The pencil will never bow to you, oh mighty Rattata James! His laundry hamper shall gain three crystals and a mechanical pencil! Mmhmm, my peanut butter buttercups will bloom for me alone!"

To his left lay Dusk Shadow, who was taking a nap. Angry, a Pumpkaboo began jumping rope nearby. Somehow this woke the Umbreon up, and he sat up. "We are gathered here to give the eulogy of Virizion, who unfortunately passed away to a Peck… um, she was… um,"

Grant, to _his_ left, frowned. "Um… she was sarcastic and… and…" He scratched his chin. "Aegothis, any parting words?"

The Servine screamed like a banshee, breathing fire all over the place like an Arcanine. Still screaming, the fire changed to some kind of hidden Grass power and the Servine exploded in a mixture of hate and rage. But since that can't happen, he was revealed to be controlling a puppet of himself, sitting on Yveltal.

OoO

"We need to actually do something." Grant said, sharpening his Leaf Blades on a Pidove feather. Everyone nervously edged away.

Aegothis, still screaming, went down to the first level. A dust cloud appeared, and he tacked the Mega Ampharos into it. There were sounds of a massive struggle before the Servine appeared over the body of the electric dragon, triumphant. He held up a red orb, apparently from the dragon beneath him.

"I don't even," Eclipse said weakly, before fainting. (Thankfully not dying, though.)

A white glow surrounded the entire party before they were Teleported to Mewtwo's evil secret lair, where the Genetic Pokemon was watching TV and eating chips. The team stared awkwardly, while the tall Psychic began crying as Titanic ended. "So…" Dusk Shadow said awkwardly.

"Ah!" Mewtwo jumped up, Mega Evolving into his X form. "Ahem… welcome back to the Evil Lair of myself, Mewtwo!" He gestured around his hot pink secret cave. "Are you laughing at me?" he roared at Grant, who had a perfectly straight face on. The Grovyle frowned again.

"Why would you think that?" he asked calmly. Mewtwo's blue eyes flashed and he created a sword out of blue energy, striking the Grass Type on the head, or trying to at least, because the attack missed terribly.

"Anyways… what was I gonna say again? I forgot, because I'm an incompetent idiot. Ciao!" Mewtwo smiled at the team brightly, and the world was turned back into the Forest Grotto.

 **OoO**

 **Question of the day: Of all of the stupid random things in here, which would you like to see more? (i.e. Dialga and Palkia, Roman's bad singing slash rapping, epic fails, etc…)**


	26. THANK YOU!

**54 reviews. 25 chapters. What has happened. Shoutouts to *takes deep breath* Moonlesz Night, Dranicus101, Static Eevee 198, Raichu of Time, Saraceaser, SunnySummer77, and sheepyentertainment1, and everyone of you guests who reviewed!**

 **Raichu of Time: YOUR WISH IS GRANTED!**

 **Static: YOUR WISH IS ALSO GRANTED! Laughed at your review to the point of ROFLing, by the way. XD**

 **Dranicus101: SO IS YOURS! Hey, don't ask me. Ask the camera crew.**

 **Moonless: AND YOURS, OF COURSE!**

 **I don't own pokemon, or anything else!**

 **OoO**

"Bippity, boppity, boo, the mouse ran up the clock, its fleece was snowy white! Oh, the wheels on the muffin man, the muffin man, the twinkle twinkle little star, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, you are a pirate!" Roman pranced through a flower bed, ignoring the two bewildered Legendary falling to the ground. "Oh yeah, here we go, prancin' through the snow, when you're in a boat you row, bring the crew and co, wahoo!" The Raichu executed a triple-Mario jump over Palkia. "If you're not a Miltank, don't go moo, moo, moo, yeah I'm talkin' to you! Look at these legendaries, they sure fit together like pods in a pea, they're lord of the metal and lord of the sea, yeah!"

Palkia raised a purple glue stick dramatically, raising his head to stare into the eyes of Mr. Snuggleface. "I have repented of my foolish ways; you demented old blue steel Teletubby! If you love your teddy bear so much, I shall glue it to your face! Muahaha!" The two legendary charged at each other, waving their 'weapons' over their head. Dialga laughed.

"Oh no, Mr. Snuggleface will never surrender! Right, my snuggly little popcorn popper? I met your second cousin's aunt's uncle grandson's alchemist's florist's hairdresser's baker's sister's bartender's brother last night, and we hung out and had a goooooooood time! We had pillow fights and ate chips and had a sleepover and invited friends over and then…"

" _And then I stole their souls!"_ Yveltal appeared out of nowhere, shoving Cheetos and quarters down Palkia's throat. A vending machine appeared in his paws as he bashed it against Dialga's head, screaming; "Unleash to me your secrets!" The deathly pokemon gave up and threw it across the room, slamming Eclipse and Aegothis into the pokemon behind them. A shadow was suddenly cast over the room, and a white figure appeared, radiating power and authority.

"Arceus, what is that!" Bane shouted, claws raised and ready to strike. The majestic white creature turned its head, the thing on its back glowing red. "Oh." Beams of light fired out in all directions, hitting every pokemon. Arceus looked over each fallen pokemon, opening his mouth to speak.

The ground below him caved, sending the old pokemon (and Roman, because reasons) tumbling down into the Shadow World. Scorch flew by, helpfully chattering. "Like, yeah, a bottomless pit is like, totally possible! But what _ever,_ because no way is that possible! I think I just, like, contra… contare… contradicted myself, like like like no way!" She flew off again.

OoO

Giratina smiled faintly as he finished his meditations, feeling immensely relieved. He thanked the Medicham and sent it on its way, plopping down on the floor to finish reading his book.

"Ahhhhh-" Giratina's eyes bulged as seven hundred and seventy pounds landed on him, his book flying out in front of him. It transformed into a Ditto, transforming again into a neon green and purple Giratina. Roman looked at both dumbly. "Which one is which? Oh my, with the Pyroar and Darkrai and Politoads!"

Arceus sighed. "Put two and two together."

Roman's eyes widened. "Wait a sec… I thought you were imprisoned! IMPOSTER!" He Thunder Shocked the pokemon creator, but… wait, put two and two together… what's a two?"

Arceus groaned. "I leave for _two seconds_ and this is what Mewtwo says about me?" He paused. "Mewtwo! Go to your room!"

An extremely fat Mewtwo appeared, holding three family size bags of chips. "Hrmmmph!" he argued through a full mouth, disappearing again.

Roman sighed and magically Teleported back to the normal world, dancing a jig. Aegothis Vine Whipped around a stone support, catapulting straight into Eclipse. The Raichu grinned. "And that's what it's all about!"

 **OoO**

 **Thank you so much for 54 reviews you all,**

 **I know some of my chapters appall,**

 **But I'm honored that you like my fails,**

 **And… darn it; I'm just as bad at this as Roman!**


	27. You've Got Mail!

**Dranicus101: Yeah, exactly. I love the idea of a fat Mewtwo, it's hilarious.**

 **Static: Thanks! I have a solution. *lowers voice* Sit on the floor. *winks***

 **Raichu of Time: Thank you! Yay randomness!**

 **I don't own anything you can find in a store! I also don't own Bane, Grant, this Yvletal, um, or anyone else I may have forgotten!**

 **OoO**

Birds chirped and the sun beamed down on the Rising Stars, who were sitting outside of the dungeon for once. Eclipse cheerfully chased butterflies, often running straight into trees and giving himself a mild concussion (and staying conscious to do it again), Roman and Dust were contentedly playing checkers, and everyone else was either stuffing their faces like a pig, (I'm looking at you, Pignite) napping or screaming at their video game console to 'do a barrel roll'.

"No, no, no, no!" Roman screamed shrilly suddenly, flipping the checkers board and throwing the pieces into the Absol's face. "That's not how you play chess!"

Aegothis sat up from his nap, blinking in the sunlight. "I thought you guys were playing checkers." The Raichu frowned and innocently set the game back up.

"Well I was, but this idiot kept trying to pretend that once of his pieces was a queen!" Dust kicked the board, which blew up in the electric mouse's face.

"No Mario, don't jump on the Goombas, call down your super star destroyer and harness the power of friendship!" Bane, ticked off at the gaming console, stabbed the screen with his claws and started laughing demonically. There was a beat, in which the Weavile dropped the controller. "And save the kingdom, of course."

"Come here, my little stuffed Sugar Daddy!" Eclipse howled deliriously, still chasing butterflies. "My aunt shall flower you up with the roses and Delibirds! You know you wanna!" He ran straight into a tree, cuddling around the trunk like some sort of teddy bear. And speaking of teddy bears…

The ground burst open, Dialga foaming at the mouth as he jumped into the tree Eclipse was cuddling. Palkia did the same, appearing from space. "The floor is lava!" the Water type legendary yelled at his counterpart, waving a finger at the ground. "Now come here! Mr. Snuggleface shall be mine!" He chased Dialga around the grove of trees which magically appeared, waving his safety scissors and glue stick. Dialga got an evil look in his eye.

"Time out!" he yelled while Palkia was in the air, causing the Spatial Pokemon to fall dramatically into the 'lava'. "Yes! Mr. Snuggleface shall be forever mine!" He jumped down into the 'lava', ignoring the fact that it _was_ 'lava'. He then dramatically raised Mr. Snuggleface, standing triumphantly on the body of Palkia.

"Never!" Palia shouted, getting up and chasing Dialga back into the Distortion World. There was another awkward pause as the ground closed up behind them. Muffled shouts could still be heard, somehow.

"Mail call! Mail for… Roman the Raichu!" A Staravia mail carrier dropped a letter down to Roman, who excitedly reached up to grab it and instead cracked his head on the nearest planet. As he fell back down to his own planet, he opened the mail. _'Roman, your singing may be terrible, but you get an A for always doing it!'_ Roman looked for the sender, but there was no name.

"Haha! Someone appreciates my amazing singing for once! Here's a victory song: Someone likes my song, I came up with one playing ping pong, I once battled King Kong, everythings about me 'cause no one cares about no one else, right? Right! Two four six eight, who do we appreciate? ROMAN!" The Raichu jumped into the air, cheerleading for himself. He looked back at the letter. "Huh. I feel like I know this person…" Roman paused, before casually eating the letter. "Mmm. Tasty."

Aegothis blinked slowly. "I'm so confused right now."

OoO

 **Fan mail? I don't know. I just wanted Roman to see it. XD**


	28. Chaos of Legendary Proportions

**Moonless: Of course it is! :D**

 **Raichu of Time: Roman's gonna see that in this chapter. Oh hecks yes. Thank you, BTW.**

 **Dranicus101: Are you implying I wasn't popular? *fake offense* I LOVE Dialga and Palkia, they're some of my favorite Legendary. So I made them hilarious in here**

 **OoO Anyways, RANDOMNESS CHAPTER! Not like anything other than randomness has been in this story since chapter 25… or something.**

 **I Don't own anything!**

 **OoO**

Mewtwo lazily turned off his TV, crawling to his magic teleporter. "Urgh… so far." He turned it on, and the entire Rising Stars Team appeared. "Gah.. so far…"

Eclipse cocked his head. "What? Kalos?"

"No, you fool! The kitchen! NEED MORE FOOD…" The Genetic Pokemon crawled to the said room, which was about two feet away, where he pushed himself up and began searching for food. "Nooo! I need more food!" In frustration, he began gnawing on thecupboards. "You, team! Go to the local store and bring me more food!"

"Um, do we have a say in this? Where is the nearest Pokemart anyways?" Aegothis asked. Mewtwo fell to the floor again, several pieces of silverware in his mouth.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK, PEASANT?" His eyes glowed and a weak telekinetic pulse hit the Servine, who shrugged it off. "Ooh… that took so much energy… hmm…. need more food…" Aegothis nervously shuffled backwards, dragging the rest of the team with him.

 **Two hours later…**

They finally arrived at the Pokemart. "What do you _mean_ ; you only carry healing items here? We just walked two hours to get here!" The shopkeeper, a Kangaskhan, looked at them skeptically.

"Did Mewtwo send you here?" The team nodded. "Oh. Well, in that case, here ya go. Technically there's supposed to be a Kecleon Shop over here, but Mewtwo destroyed it because they were out of apples. Then he sent the family that bought the last to the Shadow World. I feel bad for them."

"Yeah…" Grant said, for different reasons than the Kangaskhan. "Wait, are we supposed to drag this back?" He stared in horror at the huge crate full of food that the pokemon had brought out.

"Well… sort of. You see, Mewtwo destroyed the teleporter and our techs are too lazy to fix it, so good luck. See you tomorrow!" The Kangaskhan gave a cheery wave and shoved them out the door, with a few parting words. "Oh yeah, Mewtwo tends to eat a _lot_ every day. Goodbye!" The Parent Pokemon shoved the food crate out with the team.

 **Four Hours Later…**

"Need more num-nums!" Mewtwo roared furiously, lying in a heap on the floor. His entire cave was bare, with the exception of his TV, which was sparking because the Genetic Pokemon was chewing off the edges. "Hm… everything's going black…"

"Finally!" Dust crowed as they dragged the massive food crate into Mewtwo's cave. Everything was stripped bare, including the TV now. Mewtwo was nowhere to be seen. "Did he move out? Huh, I guess we can eat this food then." He pulled out a crown roast, shoving the entire thing into his mouth. Soon the food was gone except for one lone banana, which Roman was reaching for when Mewtwo dragged himself into the cave.

"My food!" he sighed with relief, crawling to the crate! The Rising Stars blushed and Roman quickly dropped the banana, which Mewtwo snatched up. "Oh, my banana babies! Yes! We are reunited once more!" He scarfed down the fruit, peel and all, before reaching in the crate. "Well… where is the rest?" The team winced.

"Scatter!" Jay cried, throwing a Scatterbug at Mewtwo. It bit him, and he cried out in pain overdramatically.

"How does that work?" Yveltal cried, appearing out of nowhere.

"Well, Psychics are weak to Bugs. But a Scatterbug, really, Mewtwo." The feline Legendary managed to stand, still extremely fat.

"You will pay, you multi-chocolate pumpkin wuffles!" Mewtwo evolved into his Y form and slammed a psychic cage over the team, effectively trapping them in. He was now skinny, short, and full of energy.

"Wuffle?" Eclipse said cluelessly. Yveltal, outside the cage, began innocently whistling and flying away. "Yveltal, you traitor!" The Death Pokemon turned and a beam of red light demolished the cage. The Destruction Pokemon swooped down to attack Mewtwo, arms outstretched.

"No!" Mewtwo cried, covering himself with his hands. "I want my mommy!"

"Give me a hug!" Yveltal answered, chasing the Genetic Pokemon.

"WAA!" Dialga broke out of the ground, trampling Mewtwo. The great Steel Dragon was bawling, being chased by both Palkia and Manaphy. Giratina chased all three, waving an old cane and hobbling after them. "Mommy, tell them to stop!"

"I'm not your mommy!" Giratina howled, furious with the Legendary. "Now come here!"

"NEVER!" Dialga roared at the, distorting time so that he could speed away. "You just want Mr. Snuggleface! I tell you, he's mine! I got him for my three thousandth birthday! _Mine!_ " The Roar of Time faded away, and the pokemon chase continued.

"Leave me alone!" Mewtwo wailed, still running from Yveltal. He de-evolved back into his normal form, and immediately fell to the ground, fat and weak once more. The Destruction Pokemon grabbed him and squeezed the life out of him (nearly literally), dragging Mewtwo with him.

"Look Dyegalia or whatever your name is, I have something better than Mr. Snuggleface! I have Mewtwo!" The Temporal Pokemon narrowed his eyes, raising his teddy bear. Mewtwo squirmed in Yveltal's grasp. "Stay out of this, Poolkya, this between us!" Both Yveltal and Palkia narrowed their eyes. "Alright Mewtwo, use… um, Splash!" Mewtwo bobbed uselessly.

"Oh yeah, is that all you got?" Dialga laughed. "Let's go Mr. Snuggleface, use Hyper Beam!" Surprisingly, the teddy bear did, and completely demolished the space where Yveltal and Mewtwo had been. "Hey, where'd they go?"

Maybe the world shall never know… but they didn't die, because if they had then Giratina would be screaming with agony.

OoO

 **Well then. That was quite the chapter.**


	29. Words With D

**So I just got back from my trip… *looks at reviews* and the first thing I see is 86 flippin' reviews…**

 **You guys are awesome. Enough said. O-O**

 **Question of the Day: What has been your favorite chapter?**

 **Dranicus101: I wish the regular games had the Hunger aspect in them. That'd be cool. And I forgot that they were in a cave… whoops.**

 **Static: Quite the chapter! Thanks!**

 **Arceus: I'm not going to stop this story until I graduate or something. Please don't smite my ancestors. Thanks!**

 **Moonless: Couldn't do much but a short one. Thanks for the review!**

 **And to the guests that all reviewed: thank you!**

 **ENOUGH STUFF! ONTO THE CHAPTER!** **MORE FAN MAILZ THAT I DON't OWN! I also don't own Pokemon or the OCs in here. Except mine.**

 **OoO**

There was only silence in the Forest Grotto as Aegothis gently lay down a stuff-less teddy bear. Dialga was present, idly playing games on his watch. "Dialga, any words?" The Temporal Pokemon looked up and realized where he was. A frown crossed his face. "For Mr. Snuggleface?"

" _Never!"_ Dialga roared, rising to his full height. " _I'll not be influenced by your doom-y words of destruction and desolation and death and more words that begin with d!_ Come, Mr. Snuggleface, to infinity and beyond!" Dialga pulled a new teddy bear out of nowhere and jumped into one of Palkia's space portals.

"I am marshmallow," Roman said randomly, squishing his head between his paws. "Squish squish!" There was an awkward silence until a Staraptor flew onto the scene, holding a bag full of mail.

"Take it all!" it wailed, dramatically falling to the ground. "I cannot hold my burdens any longer… Tell my TV that I love it… tell my fries that I'm sorry they weren't deep fried… ahhh!" It collapsed, the Rising Stars no longer caring.

"Ohh!" Roman pulled out a letter addressed to him. "Look, it's in bright blue! Doesn't it match my skin tone?" He opened the letter. _'I think that Roman is my favorite character. :3'_ "What is that thing on the end? Who sent it?"

Dawn Light appeared in a flash of sparkles. " _Raichu of Time… ohh, I'm a ghost, fear me and stuff. Blah."_ She disappeared.

"It's my long lost brother! Or sister!" Roman began doing the disco for no reason.

A Lucario appeared, pressing a paw to his head. "I sense that the sender is a female…" He touched the letter, and Roman ate it. The Raichu then breathed out a spout of flames at the Lucario, who fell to the ground and vanished with a _po_ p _._

Eclipse's eyes widened. "They're coming for my life! This isn't gonna be _gooood!_ " He began to dance around, making faces at the wall.

Arceus appeared out of nowhere. " _Amuse me, peasant!_ Are you going to continue? I'd be sad if you don't . . . and then I'd be mad . . . and then I'd destroy your ancestors . . ."He stamped the ground. "I said, _amuse me!"_

Things happened.

Mew appeared, holding two energy drinks.

Mewtwo appeared, holding a bag of chips.

Palkia appeared, holding a teddy bear.

Giratina appeared, holding a sanity bracelet.

Dialga did _not appear,_ because he was stuck in his room with Mr. Snuggleface.

Dust backed away from the Legendaries.

"Hi! Hi! Hi! I'm Mew! Who are you, huh? Whowhowhwho let the dogs out? Wheeee!" Mew spun around in the air, chugging the other energy drinks. "Do you have sugar? Wherewherewhere? I NEED SUGAR!" She punched Grant in the face, spinning around hyperly and smashing into the walls.

There was a rumble. Mewtwo burped loudly in Arceus's face. The cave collapsed, the Genetic Pokemon making a tiny little barrier over himself. "Too… much…. effort!" Mew zipped over to her double and poured the rest of her drink down his throat.

"A, B, C, D, E, Ffff…!" Mewtwo burped again, apparently learning his ABCs. "Uurp!" He dug his hand into his chips bag, which was now empty. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Giratina slapped him gently.

Palkia screamed like a banshee and Teleported the Rising Stars to somewhere else that is unknown… also known as Dialga's room.

Giratina slapped him gently.

Mew Head Smashed into the ground, creating an earthquake.

Giratina slapped her gently.

Dialga Teleported into the room with the team, roaring loudly as he rolled in the dirt. Mr. Snuggleface Hyper Beamed the Temporal Pokemon.

Giratina screamed furiously and sent Dialga to the Shadow World for a time-out.

OoO

 **Sorry bout the crappy chapters. I've been running dry on my jokes**


	30. The Sing-Off

**Another Gates to Infamy chapter. Aren't you jumping for joy right now. No you're probably not, but whatever.**

 **Moonless: I'm a judgey person. And yes, Legendaries.** **:D**

 **Raichu of Time: Yes, apparently you're Roman's long lost sister. Thankfully, you got his share of brain cells.**

 **Dranicus101: I was trying to make up for the lack of good jokes by adding legendaries. It's a foolproof plan. What's 'salty'?**

 **Aegothis, disclaimer? (Aegothis: No.)**

 **Whaaat? (Ae: With the crap you put me through this chapter…)**

 **Okay, fine. I don't own pokemon, mystery dungeons, any OCs sent in, references, or anything I might've missed!**

 **OoO**

"I'm bored." Jay grumbled in the Inflora Forest. Due to the mass amounts of stupidity in the Forest Grotto, they had had to move.

"Your sock is red?" Eclipse called across the cave.

"No, I'm bored!" she yelled back.

"Ooh, your apple is cored!" he said, nodding wisely.

"No, oh I give up."

Your sore bit?" In a fit of anger, Dusk Shadow threw the Zorua against the wall, making him tumble down to the floor, barely conscious. "Haha… memememe…"

In unison, everyone else groaned. "Haha! Yes, of course my sock monkeys shall achieve world domination! Take that, you flightless fools!" Our favorite Raichu was currently hanging of an umbrella, preparing to jump off a ledge. "I believe I can siiigh! I believe I can-"

"Die?" Grant suggested, shooting razor leaves up at the Raichu subtly.

Virizion and Dawn Light appeared with a flash of confetti, towing along an unfamiliar pokemon. "You!" Virizion shouted, pointing empathetically at Roman. "Quick my minions! Attack, for his infernal singing has infuriated me!" The unfamiliar pokemon sighed and shook its head. "I said, attack!"

"Someone kill me now," the tiny pokemon groaned. "I've been stuck with this idiot since she died. IF I ever find the team she was with, I'l…" It's white ruff flared up. "No, Viriziot, I refuse! If we must defeat these pokemon, we shall do it in…" The Jolteon trailed off suspensefully.

"A sing-off! Excellent idea, my dear little sugar baby!" Dawn Light crowed, apparently having gone off the hook a while back. "Now, puny team, you shall taste defeat!"

"Would you like that to go?" Grant asked innocently. There was a loud groan from the Jolteon.

"Ooh! I'll rap now!" Roman said, perking up. "You and me, Joltie!" He took a deep breath. "Wait, before I start." He snapped his fingers, summoning a beach chair and dumping a cocktail down his face. "Ah, much better! Apparently I got magical powers for a chapter, so here goes." Roman attempted to lick the smoothie off of his own face. "Yo, I'm Rooooo-man! I like baking cookies in a paaaaaaan! I don't even know a guy named Staaaaan! It's fun eating toothpicks in a caaaaaan! Yeah, I'm talking to you, my fluffy unicorn! You can't mess with this pokemon, because… because… reasons."

The Jolteon stared incredulously at Roman, who grinned and put on a pair of hot pink shades. "Well then Banana, are you just gonna stare at my awesomeness?" The Raichu flexed his arms, showing that he still had no muscles from evolution. "Look at my awesome swagalicious muscles!" Off to the side, someone snort and tried to cover it up by yawning, if you count saying 'yawn' as yawning.

"Roman, why don't you listen?"

The Raichu paused. "I don't speak that language."

The Jolteon narrowed his eyes. "My name is not 'Joltie', or 'Banana'. I am simply known as…" He paused for dramatic effect.

"Goldilocks!" Roman said delightedly. "What an awesome name! Tell me, was that oatmeal good?"

"It was pudding, and my name is _not_ Goldilocks." The Jolteon glared. "I shall show you what rap can really be!" He took a deep breath. "I'm an original pokemon from the first generation! I'm only here to arrange your defamation! My lightning is charged and I'm ready to fight! Get ready for me to turn your day into night! I'm both sensible and responsible, I hit hard like an overpowered Gible!" Goldilocks, or whatever his name was, narrowed his eyes at Roman, who wiggled his eyebrows at a random palm tree.

"Okay, whatever." Roman pouted for 4.234 seconds before perking up again. "I wanna see the very test, like no drum never buzzed!" He jumped out of his chair and pinched Aegothis, running away and laughing maniacally.

The Servine flushed red and chased the Raichu. "To catch him is my real test; to train him is my cause!" Roman began running circles around Aegothis.

"I will unravel across the hand… searching for my slide!" Roman continued with glee, spinning around.

"Each pokemon to understand, the power that's inside!" Grant added.

The rest of the team cheered. "Pokemon!"

Aegothis gritted his teeth. "Gotta catch him soon! It's all on me, I hope that its destiny!"

"Pokemon!"

Dust joined in happily. "Oh, electrics are my friends, in this world I must defend!"

"Pokemon!"

Roman jumped onto his beach chair and began yelling for the entire world to hear. "My heart has goo! My courage will tell you moo!"

Yveltal descended from the skies, two bags of Cheetos securely in his wing hands. "Cheetos are orange, and so are you!"

"Pokemon! Gotta catch 'em all!"

Palkia and Dialga appeared as well, the Spatial Pokemon continuing the song. "Every challenge we'll feed them hay. And then we'll go to space!"

Dialga kept it going. "It's time for you to get a watch, and worship Snuggleface!"

Jay the Pignite did a failed backflip. "Come with tea, the slime is bright. There's no butter ghee!"

Aegothis sat on the sand, grumbling. "Arm in arm, I'll make it right, it's always been my dream!"

" _Pokemon!_ "

Eclipse, apparently recovered, grinned. "Gotta Sketch it all, it's all about me. I know I'm a destiny!"

Roman bounced off of the Zorua's head and landed in a pose, still flexing. "Oh, I need more friends, or something for my defense!"

" _Pokemon!"_

Eclipse butted in again. "I just skydived too. My ego will pull us through!"

Dusk Shadow sat on the floor, crying his eyes out. "Why can't I learn, they're all insane!"

" _ **Pooookeeemoon!"**_

Roman raised a fist. "Come, my newfound Pikachu army, to infamy and beyond!" Yveltal followed him.

"It's been nice staying with you, but I really should be bothering Jaser in my own story!" He swooped off.

 _ **OoO**_

 **Fun fact: Rap stands for Rhythm and Poetry.**

 **I have important news! Since November is National Novel Writing Month, (NaNoWriMo) I shall be increasing my updating speed to THREE updates a week for some of my stories! Probably Gates to Infamy and Shadows of the Past as well as Versus! Arena and Who We Are.**

 **Yayz.**


	31. Um?

**Moonless: That song… that song drove nuts until I posted it. Thanks for the awesome review!**

 **Dranicus101: Good! Er, I mean…uh… that's totally not good? And about the crackers thing, makes sense. Roman's army of Pikachu will wreak havoc next chapter!**

 **OoO**

Aegothis put his pen on the paper and began writing, despite his lack of obvious hands. _'To whoever may find this, this is a distress signal. Please, if you find this, I ask that you-'_ Grant looked at his paper over the Servine's shoulder. "Aegothis, you idiot! This isn't a distress letter!" The Servine rubbed his head, confused.

"It's not? Then what is it?" The Servine crumpled the paper up and threw it at Roman, who gobbled it up. "Oooh, I remember! It's time for plot stuff to happen!" He picked up a flare, sending it up into the sky. It exploded into a splatter of Pikachu shaped fireworks. With a _pop,_ another Pikachu appeared with a stupid 'duh' look. "What the- Roman, who is this?" he asked, talking to the Raichu.

The Pikachu frowned. "What, no miss, I'm Roman!" He pointed to himself. "That's Zap, my brother." The Raichu that had been posing as Roman posed. "Now where did I put my crayons?" He thoughtfully pulled some cookies out of his pink fuzzy socks and ate them.

"And… when exactly did this happen?" Bane asked cautiously. The Pikachu's eyes widened.

"STRANGER DANGER!" he screamed, flinging flaming brown stuff at the Ice type. "Hey, where did that come from?" He waited. "Oh, that was my chocolate chips."

"Yeah, whatever! Where's my distress letter?" Aegothis turned red and began to yell at Dust. "I know you did it! Don't deny it! You're guilty!" He paused to take a deep breath. "To court we go!"

"Not again!" everyone else groaned in unison.

 **In court, because.**

"Order in my basketball court!" the old Blaziken judge said irritably, bouncing a basketball on the ground. "You people there, do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and everything but the truth?" He pointed at the Rising Stars.

"What?" Grant asked.

"Yes?" Eclipse answered.

"No!" Roman declared.

"Maybe?" Zap wondered.

"Possibly," Aegothis laughed.

"Paper airplanes!" Dust said, throwing a few into the air.

"Paper airplanes!" the judge said, picking up his famous wooden airplane. "SHOOT 'EM DOWN, MY GOOD SIR PEEPS A-LOT!" His airplane twirled into the air and crashed into the ground.

"How about we forget that this every happened?" Aegothis suggested, peering down into the massive hole that the tiny plane had created.

Good enough!" the Blaziken declared, scribbling down as note. "Take that to my first cousin second removed's bear's tea party friend's sugar's bookcase's tie's scarf's…" This went on for a while. "Shoe's teddy bear. It's a message for Mr. Snuggleface and Dialga."

"You work for those nutcases?" Eclipse asked, gaping.

"Well of course I do, mister glass wall! How else will I get the money to support my family?"

"You have a family?" was the shocked answer.

"Of course! Meet Airplane A, Airplane B, Airplance C…" and so on… "Airplane Y, and Airplane Z!" Yveltal, Xerneas, and Zygarde appeared, taking their respective airplanes. "What… I don't care if you're Legendaries… prepare to meet your doom! 3…2…1…"

"Happy New Year!" Yveltal cheered, bouncing around and throwing confetti into the air. Xerneas fell onto the floor, crying.

"I want my mommy!" she wailed, drowning the team in her tears. They flooded out and back into Post Town. "I want my teddy bears!"

Out of nowhere, Dialga appeared and raised Mr. Snuggleface. "Challengers Dialga and M.r Snuggleface want to battle! GO SNUGGLYPANTS!" He threw out the teddy bear and began setting up all kinds of 'Mr. Snuggleface for President' sign around Yveltal.

"Oooh!" the real Roman cried, hopping up onto Yveltal. "I shall narrate! Or shall I rap?" he asked.

"You put your teddy bear out, you put your earphones in, you put your pokemon out, and you make it to a scout," Eclipse began. "You do the pokey hokey and you turn the thingiy about…. something…"

 **OoO**

 **Question of the Day: Based on my writing style, how old would you say I am?** ow else


	32. Cameos and Fourth Wall Breaking

**Wow, that last chapter was** _ **not**_ **proofread well.**

 **Static: The paper airplanes make everything awesome.**

 **Dranicus101: I am…** _ **so**_ **bad at keeping my promises. Here's some Roman Pikachu army for ya :-( WHY WOULD BLAZIKEN BE SERIOUS? I dunno. *shrugs* I think he might have been made schizophrenic.**

 **YourTypicalReader: Thanks, I've only been writing for about a year… and a half… something like that. I'll make sure to proofread from now on!**

 **Raichu of Time: Yeah, I was confused too. But thanks for the compliment for the story!**

 **OoO**

"Roman, count us down from five!" Aegothis demanded, locked in an arm-wrestle with Eclipse.

"Um…" the Pikachu mumbled, scratching his head awkwardly. "Three… two… one…"

"What? I said _five!"_

"Well you see, my teacher kind of kept saying I had until the count of three to stop talking… and I kept talking… and I kind of got suspended from school. So I only learned my numbers up to three." Satisfied with his explanation, the Pikachu began tooting his flute like those birthday things that go _ploot_. All of sudden reporters crowded around him, a Raichu, a Lucario, a shiny Umbreon, and a blue Eevee.

"Roman, when did you disappear?"

"Roman, why did you disappear?"

"Blazkien, do your airplanes each have separate rooms?"

"Weeell, I disappeared around chapter…. well, the author is too lazy to check, so the time when Yveltal juggled flaming Emolga. I disappeared because the famous life can be too much to handle!" Roman snapped his fingers and summoned a random Pikachu from his newfound army, which he sat on. "And… wait, I thought the questions were about me!"

 **Back with Blaziken in whatever bridge he lives under**

"There you go Airplane A, oh you want a bedtime story? Okay… Once upon a time, there was a little fairy paper airplane…" he rambled, continuing the fairy tale. "And the brave paper airplane knight slew the evil safety scissors dragon and saved the paper airplane princess. Everyone lived happily ever after!" He continued onto Airplane B. "Oh, you want a bedtime story too? Well too bad! Paper Airplane A is my favorite! Oh, you say that parents aren't allowed favorites, Paper Airplane C? _Go to your room!_ "

"I heard someone say Safety Scissors!" Palkia shouted out of nowhere, leaping up from his place on the floor, apparently posing as a rug. "I, evil paper user, am the superhero known as… _Captain Safety Scissors!"_ He took a ridiculous 'superhero' pose. "Now repent of your wicked ways… yada yada yada, for I am here to destroy you!" He tossed away his cue card and brandished his scissors. "Perhaps you shall be a better rival that my old rival Dialga and Mr. Snuggleface!"

The Blaziken, who we shall call Bob for narrative purposes, whimpered heroically and ran off with his 'family'.

"Curses!" Palkia roared, picking at his superhero space suit. "He has escaped! I am in need of a new rival as of now! Hmm…" He spotted a random old lady reading a newspaper. "You there, paper-user! I shall destroy you and your diabolical plans!" He ran towards the screaming old lady and raised his safety scissors above his head.

"Oh no you don't!" a Quilava shouted at him, eating a lemon for absolutely no reason. "I shall stop you with my amazing fourth wall powers and stuff!" The Quilava randomly summoned a thin bamboo wall, which Palkia easily destroyed. Then a second, and then a third. "Oooh, I get it! This fourth wall should at least be able to stop you!" The pokemon summoned another wall, which was made out of brick. Palkia smashed that one too.

Fourth.

Wall.

 **Broken.**

OoO

 **Back with Mewtwo and Mew**

OoO

Mew guzzled her sixty-fourth energy drink, tossing the can to Mewtwo, who ate it. Suddenly, the doorbell rang to the Hall of Judgement. It was a delivery truck. Mewtwo dragged himself to the door and ate the food inside, before eating the delivery truck. Mew tossed him her eighty-ninth energy drink can. "FOOOOD!" Mewtwo screamed. Scowling, Azelf came and put the equivalent of a buffet in front of him. He ate it in 0.32442 seconds before pausing to breath. "HOT! HOT! HOT!" he screamed, suffering from the Super Spicy Ghost Pepper Sriracha Sauce that Azelf had sprinkled liberally over the meal.

But we don't feel bad for him, so back to our scheduled programming… I mean, cast…

 **Back with the… okay, whose idea was it to name these idiots the Rising Stars?**

"The wheels on the mice go round and round, sound and bound!" Roman began, riding on his Pikachu-Mobile, which was basically a cart pulled by Pikachu with the wheels being Pikachu. It seemed he was putting his army to work. "The wheels on the mice go round and round, round and rouuund!" He flailed as the Pikachu carried him above their shoulders.

"The itsy bitsy Joltik went up the potter's count!" Zap began.

"One, two, three!" Roman and his Pikachu army cheered.

"Down came the pain and watched the Joltik's snout!"

"No." Aegothis snapped firmly. "No more songs!" he decreed, waving his hands up in the air. Zap and his Pikachu ignored him. "If you keep this up, I'm sending you to school!" They kept singing.

 **What goes on in schools?**

"And this is a _one_ ," the teacher said to Roman, who continued talking. "Roman, you have until the count of five to stop talking!" He kept talking. "One… two… three... four… five!" The Pikachu brightened up.

"I just learned how to count to five!" Then the Pikachu and Raichu got kicked out.

OoO

 **I think Roman's gotten immunity from his popularity ratings. :P**


	33. PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

**101 reviews! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! To celebrate, our favorite characters will so some craaaazy stuff.**

 **Dranicus101: Well, this is the Palkia that waves around sharp things and claims he's a superhero… and I haven't really been killing off characters because this is a fun fic and not something dark and depressing. Enjoy!**

 **Fuzzy Blue/Guest (Static): Yeah, don't ask 'bout the nickname. … I'm weird. And don't worry about the guest review; I did it on Arceus Gave Me His Phone Number once. And yeah, Blaziken's favorite paper airplane is Paper Airplane A! DX Case adjourned! *eats mallet***

 **Moonless: (Roman: what's** _ **school**_ **? Is it that weird place with the creepy people?)**

OoO

 _Dear fail- er, Rising Tar, or whatever your name is, hey, tell Mewtwo to stop eating my pencil! Ahem. Dear exploration team- Mewtwo, give me back my pen! You know what; just get your collective butts up to the Hall of Judgement! Now!_

 _Signed with no sincerity, Arceus, the ultimate super amazing spectacular multi-armed omnipotent being that belongs in a nursing home._

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy, oh boy!" Roman squealed as he received the letter. "Oh boy! I wonder what's inside, maybe a new hat, or a ticket to a free for all buffet, or a new refrigerator, oh, I know! It's my new dump truck!" He took a breath. "Cause we like to drink from cups, cups, cups, cups! We don't go down; we go right up, up, up, up!" He opened the letter. "Oh. Hey guys, I have something to tell you!" he yelled, running for the rest of his team.

"Shhh! I'm watching paint dry!" Cobalion hissed, never blinking from looking at his darling paint dry. "It's my new job, y'see."

Arceus appeared, with cucumbers over his eyes. "Pop! Haha, I love saying that. Popopopopopopopopop! Okay, whatever. Teleport!" He closed his eyes.

"Hey bro, I know Teleport," Deoxys said lazily, floating by on a La-Z Boy.

"Whaaaat?" Arceus roared furiously. "I'm the god of this universe! I made every pokemon move! Why can I not know Teleport? CURSE YOU GAME DEVELEPORS, CURSE YOU!" He disappeared in a flash as Deoxys Teleported all of the team to the Hall of Judgement.

"Party! Party! Party!" Yveltal shouted, wearing a party hat and throwing confetti into the air. "Yay! We have visitors!" He threw more confetti into the air.

"I'm going to tell you a secret…" Mew whispered to the team, eyes wide as she talked. "They're all mad!" she wailed. "They're crazy, but I'm not, oh no I'm not!" She cackled insanely. "I'm insane!" Still laughing, she floated off, chugging another energy drink.

Mewtwo walked (read: dragged himself) up to the team and began gnawing on Zap casually.

"Like, that's like, so funny!" Scorch cackled like a Mismagius as she flew away randomly.

"Grant, I have a very important question." Roman said seriously.

"Yeah?"

"I want to know… how are babies made?"

The Grovyle groaned loudly.

OoO

"Time out," Dialga said tiredly, stopping time. Everything froze, including Palkia in midair, wearing a spandex superhero costume.

 **This has been ridiculous enough, but now we add this stupidity in? I've lost faith in my writing 'skill'.**

"But!" Palkia cried, time magically unfreezing.

 **Nope.**

"But- but- but…" Dialga protested grandly.

 **Nope.**

"I'll give you a cookie if you take these two to a movie," Giratina said hopefully, bursting up from the ground.

 **Okay!**

"I want Skittles!" Dialga whined, pointing to a pack of gummy worms.

"I want M and Ms!" Palkia argued, pointing to a pack of Milk Duds.

 **Okay, you can have both.**

Two teleporters appeared and warped the candies to their respective Legendaries.

"Whaat? I said, I wanted Junior Mints!" Dialga snapped, throwing his gummy worms on the ground and crying loudly.

"And I wanted the Butterfinger!" Palkia sniffled.

 **I'll get it for you if my name isn't Hoopa!** The mysterious voice in the clouds revealed itself to be the mischievous Confined Legendary.

OoO

"Paper Airplane A, Paper Airplane B," Blaziken chanted to the tune of the Alphabet Song, evidently teaching Paper Airplane A the ABCs. Paper Airplane P came whizzing by. "No, Paper Airplane P, your name is stupid and you don't deserve a proper schooling!" He turned back to his 'favorite' paper airplane.

"Well if you don't want them then we'll take them!" a group of small pokemon said in unison, rearranging themselves to make words. _We're Team Unown, giving proper schooling to orphaned paper airplanes!_

"Whaaat?" Blaziken sneered, waving his original paper airplane at the Unown. "That's ridiculous!"

 _Nevermind! This is a battle of the Ages!_

 **I prefer Hoopa and the Clash of Ages, actually.** Hoopa injected helpfully.

"How about Pikachu and the Crash of the Eons?" a random Pikachu from Roman's army said.

"I like Aegothis and the Destruction of His Enemies," the Servine mumbled, shuffling away.

 _That's perfect!_ the Unown spelled.

"Really?" Aegothis asked, perking up.

 _Yes! Unown and His Team Do Awesome Stuff and Save the World!_ the Unown happily spelled, dancing around each other.

 **OoO**

 **Please go vote on the poll, and I'm sorry that the quality of these chapters have been falling. : (**


	34. A Mixture of Everything

**Goood afternoon Jays! Even though it's morning right now. (Evening, right now actually. :P)**

 **Moonless: Yeah, I'm totally doing that. Thanks for the suggestion!**

 **Dranicus101: Yeah, Arceus can't learn Teleport. Congrats on being the 100** **th** **reviewer, again! Thanks for the encouragement.**

 **Static Eevee: Thank you for everything! XD And yeah, Insane Roman will already be a thing.**

 **OoO**

Dusk Shadow cautiously turned the corner of the dungeon, signaling for his teammates, Dust and Eclipse, to stay behind. There was a fork in the road, and from the right side came evil cackling came. From the left, a few Magikarp flopped around uselessly. "Oh good, I thought we were in trouble for a second there. I think we should go right," Eclipse said, running into the direction of the evil laugh.

"Why would he go that way? We could've taken the easy way! Then we wouldn't have had to…" Grant quickly followed the Zorua, while Dusk Shadow stayed to fume. "And why did we even come in here? It's about high time I set up my donut shop…" Eclipse came crashing out of the tunnel, Grant following closely. "Then I could've bought myself a gourmet coffee blender and use it to take over the world… yes, of course my sock monkeys will serve me. No, I'm not crazy."

"What are you talking about?" Zap asked, dropping down from a Vine Whip helpfully created by Aegothis.

Dusk Shadow turned to him with a bloodshot eye. "Take a wild guess."

Roman popped in, frowning. "Can I buy a consonant?"

Down the right hallway, a unicorn came out. It was brightly colored- oh, forget the description. It was… "Dun dun duuuun!" Eclipse announced.

I haven't even said who it was, you imbecile. Anyways, as I was saying before _someone_ rudely interrupted me, it was…. Keldeo! So hard, I know. Anyways, the unicorn trotted in on stilts, talking to himself. "So I was like did you like, see that girl? She was like, ya, like, I don't care. And then she was like what _evaaar._ " Scorch popped in as well, and the two began to 'talk' to each other.

Arceus appeared in a flurry of feathers and hot pink sunglasses, innocently hiding a cell phone behind his back. "Who are you?" Dusk Shadow demanded, as if he couldn't recognize the creator of the Pokemon Universe. "You cannot stop me, even if you are worthy to lick my ice-cream cone's whipped mocha! ! I am the Legendary that put your species on the earth! I am responsible for-"

"Uh, Dusky, you do know that Umbreon _aren't_ Legendary, right?" Eclipse asked. Dusk Shadow's jaw dropped at the ridiculous nickname. "Dusky?" Dusk Shadow's head exploded from sheer rage, but he was brought back because he's too awesome to die.

Arceus Howled, upping his attack because reasons and Sacred Swording Eclipse into the wall. Using Volt Tackle and other moves he didn't know, he slammed the Zorua out of consciousness. There was a very awkward silence.

 **R.I.P Eclipse, Level 18, 2015-2015**

 **OoO**

A lone paper airplane flew in, landing on a slumbering Legendary's shoulder. "GET UP, LAZYBUM! WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO!" Dialga roared in Palkia's ear, disturbing the mail. He ripped up the paper, stuffing it inside of his deflated Mr. Snuggleface to use as stuffing. From now until forever more, the teddy bear will be marked with the words _'I can't believe Palkia, the deity of space, broke the fourth wall, that is unheard of!'_

Palkia stirred, before lunging at the Steel type and attempting to eat him alive, which failed epically. "Awww, why didn't it work? I had this awesome dream I was a PokeZombie and could eat other pokemon although I already do that and it was really fun!" Dialga sighed and explained that he wasn't a zombie. "Why? I've been living a lie my entire life? That's not fair! I WANT MY MOMMY!" Dialga narrowed his eyes and Tackled Palkia, resulting in an epic/incredibly stupid fight. In the commotion, a mystery figure stole Mr. Snuggleface and cackled to itself, before running off in a flurry of dust.

OoO

A paper airplane flew in, and he read the writing on it. Confetti flew out. 'Roman ceases to amaze me, and congrats on learning how to count to five.' The Pikachu grinned. "Aww, I'm touched! I love you too, whoever sent this." Another one came in. _'Roman, Please. Go meet up with Zephyr sometime. I bet you two can learn to count to ten! What fun that will be!'_ "I'd love to meet this 'Zephyr' character someday!" the Pikachu sang, whirling around and stuffing the mail into his mouth.

Roman wrote on his paper airplane/fan mail, staining it with teardrops and red tea as well as beet juice and pickle sauce. Cheese gravy floated around in a fishbowl nearby, holding the remnants of a Skrelp. _'Dear Diary, Journal, my most prized possession, wait. Dear Diary, I write another entry in the Chronicles of Roman. Today I lost a dear friend and confidante,'_ "No, my precious teacup princesses! Today is not the day where General Roman will save the day, because my sun catchers are more important!"

Dusk Shadow burst in towherever it was that the Pikachu was writing, and frowned. "We haven't even come back with Eclipse's body yet. How would you know?" he asked sourly.

Dust appeared, lugging a strange pink and blue contraption behind it. "Way to darken the mood, Dusky. Now can I present what I built?" The Umbreon glared.

"No. Your dysfunctional machines never work."

"But I put the fun in dysfunction! How do we lighten the mood otherwise?" the Absol whined, slumping down.

Roman brightened. "I know! I'll rap!" The other two groaned, Dusk Shadow pulling out two earmuffs and Dust activating his soundproof bubble. "Yo, my name is Rooooman, I used to box with a tin caaan, but I'm here with Pizza Crust and Tusk Foreshadow! Both of them are my number one fan,"

"I object!" they both said in unison.

"Objection overruled!" Blaziken screeched, hitting them both on the head with paper airplanes.

"And I think there's another one named Stan! Maaaan, I really like rap, it goes with me like puzzles on my soda pop!" All three other pokemon were on the ground now, Roman's incredibly bad singing voice reaching through the audial protection screens.

"Make it stoooop!" Dusk Shadow 'Tusk Foreshadow' wailed, his rings glowing brightly. Dust 'Pizza Crust' nodded. "Make it stoooop!" The Absol fought to his feet against the waves of terrible rap ("Because I never even tasted steeeak, and I never learned to baaaake!") and hurled a softball at the Pikachu's head.

"Owww!" he screeched, rubbing his head. "Oh wait, it was a softball." Another thing came whizzing at his head, missing but hitting Cobalion, who was still watching paint dry.

" _Activating. Initializing. Commands, active and programs online."_ Dust looked immensely pleased with himself. _"Standard protocol, use Self-Destruct."_ It began to glow brightly, and the pokemon crouched under some random rap albums made by Roman.

"Oh, heh heh." The Absol Inventor laughed nervously. "That was actually supposed to happen, see, it is an omen of good things to come!"

Roman began to weep, mourning the loss of his albums. Suddenly, a Kyurem Black and White burst out of the ground. "Yo, hero! You are the one destined for greatness! Fill in our bodies with truth and ideals!" The Pikachu gained an evil grin.

"Alright, then. Let's start a rap band!"

Somewhere far away, all of the sane Legendaries began to scream in horror.

 **OoO**

 **QOTD: Next chapter is the randomness chapter! What should our incredibly stupid protagonists do?**


	35. Chapter The Next One

**Sorry for the late chapter everyone, had to wait for OCs to roll in.**

 **Moonless belongs to Moonlesz Night, Bane, Grant, and Dust belong to Dranicus101, Zephyr and Yveltal belong to Static Eevee 198 and Rai and Lumia belong to Raichu of Time!**

 **Review responses: Dranicus101: Nothing is expected, and insert Yoda quote here.**

 **Static Eevee 198: Yes they do. And Phione? WHO IS THAT? Oh wait, yeah I remember. And yes, you can write!**

 **I don't own anything.**

There was a hiss as a Raichu and Mareep pulled on space suits and disappeared underground. What caused the hiss was unknown and I'm not sure what I am saying!

Rewind.

Aegothis and Co traipsed through the dungeon of whatever they are in, (yes, all of them) aimlessly wandering around. Roman frowned for a second before raising his hand. "Look look look!"

Yveltal swooped in, destroying the walls and reducing the dungeon to nothing more than piles of dust. In his hand-wings he was holding a Squirtle and an Umbreon. Yeah, I know what Im saying. "Hello, fellow blue Venusaur! Don't we think our stuffed animals need to take a walk?" Zephyr the Squirtle yelled over the sound of the Legendary screaming.

"Hi people and random other pokemon of my species! I'm Rai and I really really like shiny things!" the Raichu yelled, still wearing a spacesuit. "Hahaha, this pony ride is like, so faaast I think my maps are going to fall off!" She was riding a Shuckle while she pulled out a plastic fork and jabbed it into a random toaster . Beside her rode a Mareep on a Jolteon.

"Hiya friends, I'm Lumia! Who wants chocolate pie?" the Mareep, Lumia, threw the pie (apple) into Aegothis's face.

"Oh my gosh you're bleeding!" Roman screeched in fear, despite having seen the Servine get pied. He turned around to face Moonless. "It's all your fault!" he accused, pointing an accusatory finger.

"What? What did I do?" the Umbreon demanded.

The Pikachu frowned. "I forgot. But it's still your fault!" Zap barreled by them both, waving a yellow flag.

"That's a flag!" the Raichu accused, narrowing his eyes. "Thirty five yard penalty!"

"But we weren't playing football!" Moonless defended. "We weren't playing anything! In fact, after two seconds of knowing this Pikachu, I just want to-"

"Someone hates me? This calls for an epic poem!" Roman struck a pose, flexing nonexistent muscles. "Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even an electric mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with pears, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would give care bears. All the good Pichus nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of Light Balls danced in their heads." He began to continue, only for Lumia to bounce by and accidentally shove his head into the dirt. How it's possible to accidentally do that is unknown.

"You!" Bane roared in fury, flinging several breakfast items at Grant. The Grovyle was then burned, frozen, paralyzed, poisoned and confused. "How about you man up and-"

"Wait! How can I have all of these status conditions at once?" he asked angrily. "That's impossible!"

"Magical Weavile powers," Bane said with a smirk.

"Okay, not bad." Roman said, nodding. Bane's smirk grew wider and he summoned a bunch of icicles to fling at his rival. "Okay, that's bad news bears!"

Dusk Shadow ran by, chasing after a Shinx. "It's not my fault our names are similar!" Dusk the Shinx snarled, kicking the Umbreon.

Dust watched the scene unfold, blissfully eating a banana.

"Yo, this calls for some of my awesome rapping!" Roman announced, putting on a pair of pink shades. "I'm here with Dusk Shadow who isn't a hedgehog and Dusk the Shinx-"

"What?" Zephyr asked, confused. "That is obviously not a 'Shinx'. It's blue and black, so it must be a PAPAYA LOLLIPOP! And you can't forget the Supreme part! Supreme Papaya Lollipops, away!"

"Where did the name come from, my fellow secret agent front line fighters- television remotes in arms!" Rai teleported into his face. "Huh? TELL ME OR I WILL SHIP YOU… downstairs."

"Anyyyways, as I was saying.." Roman frowned, getting back to work. "Dusk the Mega Pineapple Super Ultra Thing is here in da house, but we all know we're the better electric mouse."

"But I'm not a mouse." Dusk frowned.

Aegothis groaned again, facepalming.

 **I has a beta now! Check out DemigodPrefect :), and thank you Demigod!**


	36. A Day in the Life of a Roman

**This is it. What we've all been waiting for.**

 **Jaegothis presents: A Day in the Life of a Roman (subtitled Roman's Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infamy)**

 **Roman: FINALLY! I get the credit I deserve!**

 **You already had all of the fame you needed, Roman. Review responses!**

 **Static: Papayaaaas! Supreme. Yes, Roman is very forgetful. :D**

 **Moonless: No worries, your OC will show up more in this chapter. And as for the Eevee thing… I totally remembered that. I'm smart. DX**

 **I don't own ANYTHING in here. OCs belong to their proper owners, (see previous chapter) and Pokemon/ whatever I missed belongs to their rightful owners. The D.T.D.T.A.F.F.N.S belongs to Dranicus101.**

 **OoO**

"Hiya! I'm Roman, and I'm a Pikachu. I used to be a Pichu, and then I turned into a Jolteon one time but you don't need to know about me. Wait, yes you do. That's why I'm writing this! I'm very smart, I passed all four years of middle school! Now, you want me to tell you how old I am? You should never ask a lady what her age is! Not that I'm a lady, anyways. Hold on; let me get the calculator… five plus two, carry the one… anyways! So, you want to know about my rap fame. Well, my rap name is Radical Roman and I grew up on the streets of Post Town, scrounging the odd two thousand Poke from the passerbys… and then I discovered my talent for rapping! Listen to this: I'm a mouse and I live in a house, I don't like to wear a blouse, and I don't have a-"

During Roman's 'delightful' narration, the others were writhing on the ground in pain. Well, everyone except Rai and Zephyr, who were playing completely different games with each other. Rai the Raichu was playing Uno with an Apple to Apples deck and Zephyr the Squirtle was playing Apples to Apples with Uno cards. "Hm… got any Skips?" Zephyr asked, stroking an imaginary beard.

"Nope," Rai answered, handing him a card that said 'My grandma' on it. "Go fish,"

"What?" Zephyr asked, aghast. "I'm not a fish, I'm a Squirtle!" They continued playing like normal, until Lumia the Mareep bounded between them, screeching.

"I have the old maid!" She bounded off again, striking up an enchanting conversation with Scorch, talking about two different things.

Back to Roman.

"So, anyways, I was talking about… what? Oh yeah. Wait, I forgot. No, I'm not stupid. I'm just… mentally challenged. Yeah. So, anyways. We were talking about my rap fame, aren't we? So, my band and I, the Day Old Growlithe Excrement, known as Doge for short, totally went on tour yesterday and we had a greaaaat time!" Roman developed a slur as he fell to the floor, passed out from a sugar high.

"Should we help him?" Moonless asked, leaning over the Pikachu.

"Nah," Dust said dismissively. "Hey Moonless, wanna help with one of my experiments?" Moonless shrugged, ignoring Grant, who was behind Dust, frantically shaking his head before diving for cover. "Cool. Come on, I set it up right here." There was a tiny little metal box on the ground. "In it contains a modified Everstone, but you don't need to know what it does. Pick it up!" By now, the rest of the team had caught onto the hint and were all in hiding.

"How bad could it be?" the shiny Umbreon asked himself, before reaching down to pick up the metal box. Instantly a white glow surrounded his form.

At that time, Roman sat up. "Hiyas! I'm Roman!" the white glow surrounded him too, and when it faded, it revealed a shiny Eevee and a Jolteon. "Oh look, I predicted the future! I had magical sightseeing powers! Dragon Tales, away!" The new Jolteon struck a ridiculous pose.

Zephyr shook his head. "But Leafeon are better, or so my author thinks."

"Don't break the fourth wall!" Aegothis hissed, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth.  
Meanwhile, Moonless had begun to glare at the Absol that had done it.

"I'm revoking your allowance!" Grant said angrily, emerging from cover.

Dust frowned. "What allowance?"

"The Donation to Dust the Absol Foundation for No Specific Reason!" the Grovyle reminded. "Although I don't think many (read: any) people donated…"

Dust nodded. "Ooh, that. It's actually called the D.T.D.T.A.F.F.N.S.'' he said, pronouncing the acronym as a word. Grant's eyes glazed over.

"What about us?" Moonless and Roman demanded.

The Absol frowned. "Hold on, give me a second… nope. You guys are stuck as that for at least another chapter. Sorry!"

Aegothis spewed popcorn everywhere. "Stop breaking the fourth wall!"

OoO

 **Happy Thanksgiving!**

 **Now, you're probably saying "Jay, why is the humor bad?" Well, it's because this last week, I lost two extended family members. I really wanted to get this chapter done for Thanksgiving.**

 **Question of the Day: Aside from Roman (and your OCs), who is your favorite character? What would you want to change about them?**


	37. Running Out of Chapter Names

**There is too much infamy right now. :/**

 **Moonless: Those darn parallel selves always messing things up.**

 **Dranicus101: If I misspell your name one more time I'mma start calling you Drake or something! LOL, Dust, can't you create a money-machine?**

 **Raichu: Maybe you love all of them!**

 **Thank you all for the support in your reviews, it was much appreciated.**

 **OoO**

High in the Temporal Tower, a certain Zorua peered out of a window. Dialga paced around the spire, mumbling. "Can I go now?" Eclipse, for that was Eclipse, asked for the millionth time.

"No!" Dialga roared, beginning to cry. "You're my bargaining chip for getting Mr. Snuggleface back! After Arceus took it, Yveltal stole it. Then I got him back, but that cursed teacup took him back!" The Temporal Pokemon stomped his foot, falling twenty floors down to the ground.

"So if you get it back, I can go?" Eclipse asked hopefully.

Dialga came back up, spitting woodchips everywhere. "Mr. Snuggleface is not an ' _it'!_ Mr. Snuggleface is a he! Get it right, maaan!" Dialga stomped the ground again, falling down again. "And no, you won't go! Muahaha!"

"Aww." Eclipse turned back to the window. "Back to waiting for my princess in shining armor, then."

OoO

Meanwhile, Dust was busy working on his new invention. Moonless sat by, watching him cautiously. "So, this is going to change me back to my normal form?"

Dust began to sweat. "Uhh… yeah, sure, of course it will. Where did Rai and everyone else go?" he nervously asked, changing the subject.

The shiny Eevee regarded the Absol suspiciously. "Rai and Lumia left, but not before junking up the whole place." He nodded at the 'Christmas decorations' hung up, a.k.a the toilet paper strung around everything in sight. "Zephyr is… don't know, don't care." While he was talking, Dust innocently screwed in the last screw into his machine and flipped a switch labeled 'ON'. The box shaped invention began to flash and whir, before spitting out Pokedollars of all kinds. "How… exactly will this help me?" he asked, a dangerous edge creeping into his voice.

Dust laughed. "Easy! With this money, you can go and pay some other crazy inventor to transform you back!"

 ***FUSION EMBRACER PLEASE***

 ***NIGHT PLEASE***

"Uh-oh!" Dust said, diving for cover as blasts of dark power exploded near the Absol, destroying everything around the two pokemon. "Right, I'll get started right away!"

OoO

Roman the Jolteon sped around at approximately two miles an hour, somehow knocking Aegothis off of his feet with the wind. "Wheeee!" the Jolteon cheered, as Aegothis get up.

"Roman, this has been the _last time_ that you ever tick me off!" The Servine had begun to glow dangerously. "So do you know what I'm going to do to you? I'm going to make sure that your burns hurt more than the time that you annoyed that Garchomp clan!" The white light encased his entire body as his form grew longer.

"When did that happen?" Roman wondered.

"In the future! Now, as I was saying, you're going to experience pain like you're never felt it before! I will doom you to a fate worse than death!" The new Serperior glared at Roman from his new form.

The Jolteon gasped. "You must have evolved into a Flying type! Quick! Pikachu, use, Thunder attack!" He darted over to the other side of the room and attempted to look like a Pikachu. "Pika Pika!" He then used Thunder, but on himself. Aegothis looked distinctly unimpressed.

"You are an idiotic Pikachu that does not know right from left! You couldn't find your way out of a rat's nest, despite being a rat yourself! You are not worthy to clean off my nonexistent shoes!"

Roman blinked, turning to Grant, who had been watching the whole time. "I don't think he likes me very much."

OoO

Dusk Shadow was on a mission. Creeping around the corner of a pyramid, he heard the words, "Do you think that I'm totally insane?" Someone answered. "Well, too bad. Captain Safety Scissors is back in action!" There was a very feminine shriek as the other one, Blaziken obviously, attempted to hide his paper airplanes. Instead, Paper Airplane B burst into flames simply by being close to his fiery body.

"Nooo!" the Blaziken who we named Bob wailed, sitting down to watch his precious airplane burst into flames.

 **R.I.P Paper Airplane B 2015-2015**

 **We never really cared about him, anyways. Everybody likes Paper Airplane A better.**

 **OoO**


	38. Filler Carols

**Sorry this chapter took so long :/**

 **Raichu of Time: It was already glorified, but PAPER AIRPLANE A WILL BE MORE GLORIFIED!**

 **Moonlesz Night: Why not?** **:-)**

 **Dranicus101: Without Dust, I wouldn't be able to do half the crazy stuff I do. :p As for the second part… ha**

 **I don't own anything here, including references to other stories.**

 **OoO**

"On the first day of Mistmas, my blue glove gave to me…" Roman slid down a random fireman pole that had appeared. "A cartridge in a bare tree!" The rest of the team continued to shoot the breeze with each other, except for Jay. (wow, we haven't seen her in awhile, have we!?)

"On the second day of Prisshiss, my goo Pidove gave to me, glued hurtle loves and a starch in a bear's p-"

Just to cut her off, Dust burst into song. "On the third day of isthmus, my new shove gave to me, three bench pens, two myrtle aboves, and a carnage in a stare me!"

Continuing the nonsensical song, Zap closed his eyes blissfully as the things began to appear. First a cartridge appeared in a barkless tree, next a Pidove covered in a Goodra's goo began flying around. Two glued hurtle's gloves appeared on Aegothis's leafy hands, who freaked and threw them at Grant, who threw them to Bane. This started a game of hot potato. Thankfully, the next line did not appear. Next a new shove began its third day of isthmus (however a shoe has that, anyways) and threw some pens made of benches as Dust. Then the next things appeared. "On the fourth day of biscuits, my sew sort of gave to me, door falling birds, three wrench dens, two kernel boxing gloves, and a martian in a hair key!"

Continuing the attempt to sing the song without using the original words, Grant reluctantly mumbled, "On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, and a partridge in a pear tree." Arceus darnit Grant, I just said-

Next came Dusk Shadow, who had his nose buried in a book. "On the sixth day of ambitious, my coo trove gave to me, six peas a staying, five beholden Bingssss, four cell phone birds, three wench hens, two Shuckle foxglove, and a starfish in a tear treeee!" His rings started to glow beholden (however it does that) as Aegothis picked up the song, inhaling apple cider.

"On the seventh day of nutritious, my boo gov gave to me, seven Swanna a brimming, six Keese a laying (blatantly crossing fandoms), five molded rings! Four stalling Girdurrs, three French Swamperts, two cites of brotherly love (also known as Philadelphia), and a artist in a fair lee!" the Serperior fainted directly afterwards, but not dying because reasons.

"Oooon the eighth day of gistmas, my moo cove gave to me, MR. SNUGGLEFACE!" Dialga pranced off, holding his teddy bear close to his chest. A random flashback appeared.

O

" _Palkia, I'll give you this fine young Zorua for Mr. Snuggleface!" Dialga whined, holding Eclipse by the scruff. "Look at his teeth if you will!"_

 _The Spatial Pokemon frowned at the Temporal Pokemon. "I thought you were supposed to look at the dorsal fin." Dialga growled at Palkia and tackled him, leading to an overly long fight. In the end, Dialga won because he resists everything under the sun and pranced off happily with Mr. Snuggleface._

 _O_

"I'm not stupid, I'm just… mentally challenged." Roman was sitting up. Wait a second, why are we back here? Dust, you said that your time travel machine was perfectly reliable! Wait, where are you guys? Dust? Aegothis? The Absol from the past was asking Moonless once more if he wanted to help him out with an experiment.

Oh no. Now I had to stop them, somehow. This would put me, Hoopa, to the ultimate test. I narrowed my eyes. Yes, for it was I, Hoopa, that had been the narrator all this time!

What the- Hoopa, give me back my microphone!

OoO

 **IMPORTANT-**

 **Should we take this story to the next level of randomness, or do you guys still want some plot?**

 **Also, shameless plug: I have a new story.**


	39. Let's Go On An Adventure

**Dranicus101: (or whatever I nicknamed you) Random was sort of the plot but… I dunno. I just wrote stuff. And yeah, Skipper. Stuff happened. I like stuff. I'm also incredibly tired. :x**

 **Raichu of Time: Nope. Great minds think alike!**

 **Static: SNICKERS! Me likes Snickers.**

 **Moonless: Ha! And your wishes are granted *poses***

 **So the general consensus was lots of randomness but some of a plot at the same time. So I'll give you a random plot!**

 **I am proud to announce that this story has over 2,500 views. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!**

 **OoO**

Giratina had finally caved. So now, he and his charges were at a Build-a-Bear Workshop. Beside him, Dialga began wailing like a little kid. "But it won't beee the saaaaame!" he cried, throwing a massive tantrum. Giratina's scowl deepened as he turned to Palkia.

"Nope. He's mine now." the Spatial Pokemon said, flicking his counterpart over the head with a chopstick.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS!" Dialga screamed, having ripped apart his bear by having put too much stuffing in. "I. WANT. MISTER. _SNUGGLEFACE!_ " The employee there, an Ursaring, came over to boot them out.

"Frustration leads to anger, anger leads to the Dark Side. The Dark Side has cookies," the bear lectured. Wait, that wasn't booting them out.

"NO!" Dialga screamed. The building promptly exploded, little kids and stuffing flying everywhere. Poor kids.

OoO

Palkia crashed down into the team's base, in full Captain Safety Scissors uniform. "What," Grant deadpanned, "is _that_!?" Palkia looked deeply offended.

"How _darest_ thou not know what this is! MINIONS, ATTACK!" After several moments of him standing there and vandalizing their walls, he finally attacked… with Mr. Snuggleface. "Hyper Beam!" he roared, aiming at Dusk Shadow. (despite the fact that an Umbreon could eat up multiple Hyper Beams) Absolutely nothing happened.

"Noooooo!" Jay cried, leaping valiantly _away_ from the 'hyper beam'. "I'll save you… but be greedy at the same time and save myself!" She leapt into a wall, and nearly knocked herself out.

Palkia laughed, still aiming the teddy bear. "Pathetic mortal fools! Mister Snuggleface, GIGA IMPACT!" He threw the one pound bear into the air, where it curved and fell on the dazed Pignite… It landed on her head, and… nothing happened. "CURSES!" their enemy shrieked. "It must be out of batteries! I'll be BACK!" He disappeared in a burst of pink.

"Batteries?" Aegothis said cluelessly.

"FLAG!" Bob the Blaziken yelled at them, waving his arms. "Personal Foul, number forty two, offense! Illegal disabling of batteries!"

Grant, beside himself, shouted back, "It was a _battle!_ And there WERE no batteries!" Flailing his arms for good measure, he continued. "And enough with your paper airplanes-"

" _It is ON!_ " Bob yelled, raising Paper Airplane B high. "TO COURT!"

Eclipse sighed. "Hoo boy."

 **In Court**

"Order in my tennis court!" Bob shouted, despite the fact that there was dead silence. He banged a random mallet on the floor, somehow causing the entire building to fall down around them. They were left with the remains of a tennis court. "Destruction of public property! You really don't have anything going for you!"

"Do we at least get an attorney?" Aegothis grumped. That was when the rubble magically cleared itself, and a very familiar Pikachu walked in.

"You know who it is! The Pikachu with a bunch of hair frizz! And now I'm here in a murder case, preparing to steal home base!"

"Arceus," Dust moaned, burying his face in his clawed paw. "We're all gonna die."

"AHEM." Bob said; duct taping tennis balls to his mallet. Erm.. sorry, _gavel._ "So! Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and everything but the truth?"

"Isn't that contradictory?" Grant asked.

"I hate you." Aegothis stated.

"I want cheeseballs." Jay said deliriously.

"I want to get out of here." Dust said plainly.

"Rapping is the LIFE!" Roman said randomly, opening up a few bags of gold.

Eclipse sighed.

 **OoO**

 **Well, I sort of lost inspiration. I can't make long chapters that are funny like Static and Dranicus or put proper detail in them like Moonless and Raichu. :x**

 **But no fear, I will not give up on this story 'till you guys abandon me for having such crappy jokes. :D**

 **And don't forget to check out my beta, DemigodPrefect!**


	40. The Movies?

**40 CHAPTERS I HAVE NO LIFE**

 **3.14: …what?**

 **Moonlesz Night: It works for you. Very, very well. xD And I'm using your idea about a sudden event. Yay. :I**

 **Raichu of Time: I love it( your detail). Its well thought out. And one day… ONE DAY! Children will write without writer's block…**

 **Static Eevee 198: *sniffle* Really? Oy, 3 chapters at once! I'm currently procrastinating my way through about… five stories. Sheesh. Also, Build-a-Bear is a rip off?! I actually didn't know that! Poor Dialga.**

 **Doctor Brine: (Roman: Why thank you Brine, would you like to dine?) Thanks for the review! :DDDDDD**

 **I don't own anything blah blah blah.**

 **OoO**

"What an amazing movie!" Roman crowed, facing the wall and not looking at the screen. "What was your favorite part, Eclipse?" he asked, now facing Grant. The Grovyle silently seethed, face turning red.

"Um… I'm Eclipse. Over here." the Zorua said, waving while Grant attempted to punch himself in the face with his face. For some reason, it didn't work. I have absolutely no idea why. "Ahem, right. I um, hmm. I like my hands?"

There was an awkward silence, until Aegothis screamed with fury, pulled out a shotgun, and started firing foam bullets at Dialga, despite his lack of hands. "Why. Isn't. This. Workinnnng?" the Serperior threw down the Nerf gun, stomping on it until it broke and started sparking… somehow. Blame Dust, not me.

"Were the batteries fully charged? Maybe there wasn't enough rubber bands holding it together." a random Nerf sales representative remarked stupidly, popping up from behind the snack counter. Dust smacked him, hastily shoving him into a box as another employee passed by.

"Aaanyways," Grant started, attempting to hold a normal conversation with the pokemon next to him. "What was your favorite part?" The Lucario was currently curled up on the movie seat, sobbing ridiculously loudly.

"They portrayed my ginormous muscles sooo well!" our favorite Pikachu shouted randomly, flexing for emphasis. Dusk Shadow Night Slashed him, although he didn't faint because WE ALL KNOW WHY.

"Shut up Roman, no one cares!" a Krookodile wearing shades snapped rudely, ignoring the many shouts of the fans saying 'we do!'

"I hate how this movie portrayed me at the villain!" Flare the Quilava roared, spitting flames everywhere. Everyone hastily ducked. The movie seats caught fire, and soon they were all trapped in a merry blaze.

"Congratulations and a happy New Year!" Eclipse cheered, throwing flaming confetti around. "We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a happy Easter!" The Lucario from before and chapter whats-it smacked him for being so happy when they were about to burn. Somehow, the flames had not crept closer.

"That's not the right song, you dum dum!" Roman scolded. "LET'S GATHER ROUND THE CAMPFIRE AND SING OUR CAMPFIRE SONG!"

"We're all gonna diiie!" Aegothis wailed, collapsing next to Arceus.

"Oh why, why, why, was I born into this cruel world? I hate this world and everything in it! Oh why, WHY does this world have to be so cruel?" the ultimate lord of the universe wailed, sobbing.

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G!" Roman sang horribly, and by now Eclipse and Dust had joined in.

By now, Arceus was drowning everyone with his tears. This caused the flaes to go out because we all know tears can extinguish massive flames.

There was another awkward silence, while the Krookodile lifted up his shades in awe. "You're fired! Out!"

"But we were never hired!" Grant protested.

"Okay, you're all hired! Now you're fired!"

"That doesn't even work like that! Where's our money?" Dust asked. "We were only hired for like, two seconds!"

Grumbling incessantly, the Krookodile handed Grant one Poke. "Okay, now you're all hired for infinity! Now you're fired for infinity!"

"…What?" Aegothis asked, being held back by Dusk Shadow and Jay.

"I'm so confused," Flare the arsonist sighed.

Justified the Lucario patted him on the back.

OoO

"Hahaha!" a fat Mewtwo screeched incredibly annoyingly, pointing at the movie screen. "That was sooo funny!"

The other Legendaries sighed, except for Dialga and Palkia, who were silently fighting over Mr. Snuggleface. Ah, Legends. They're so mature, aren't they? "Remind me why we brought him along this time?" iPhone the Phione asked boredly, texting to Arceus on her phone.

"Because he's actually in this movie." Uxie said, staring intently at the screen with closed eyes. "Hey, why wasn't I in this movie?" She gestured to the screen, where Roman was rapping into a microphone and waving his paw around. "Actually, I really don't want to be associated with these losers."

"Cause I shoot lasers from my eyes, I like to make chocolate pies, under the bright green skies, Grant, why did you just sigh?"

Off to the side, Yveltal giggled girlishly, making Cheeto dust with a gavel. Bob the Blaziken appeared and took it back, handing the dark lord a pacifier. Yveltal happily dipped it into the dust and started sucking on it contentedly.

Manaphy rocked back and forth, whispering to a plant. "They'll be here soon. I'll keep you safe, me darling… why is that banana looking at me funny? Why is that banana looking at me funny?"

Raikou, who had been staring openly at the insane Legendary, quickly looked away.

OoO

 **Seriously guys, thanks for 130 flippin reviews. They're so awesome, just like y'all** **:D Also NEW POLL UP! ('cause I have no life)**

 **Also Dranicus101, I finally saw the Princess Bride. Side note. :p**

 **NEXT CHAPTER: The Gates to Infamy movie's deleted scenes. Probably.**

 **And of course, thanks to my beta, Demigod Prefect!**


	41. Bloopers

**Sigh… I have too much spare time.**

 **Dranicus101: It fits, it sits. Confusing to write? Very much so! Hilarious? Glad to see you think so! As for the Legendaries… they know to stay away.**

 **Static: If you can do 3 seconds in 3D that's better than me! I can animate in Java in 2D but nothing fancy. :p Don't question the Krook's judgement. It's better than Arceus's. No problem, thanks for the review.**

 **Moonless: (or should I call you Azure?) It most certainly will be… hopefully. Bloopers? Do you mean showing what it could have been?**

 **Raichu: YAY! That's probably going to be next chapter. xD I got addicted to the Campfire Song Song. xD Hai Rai!**

 **Doctor Brine: YAY! Thanks for joining the bandwagon. Commas- who needs commas? They're useless when you want run on sentences but am too lazy**

 **OoO**

 **It's Dust's Fault**

 _'Dear Diary,'_ Dust wrote frantically _. 'I don't think I can last much longer. Food rations are running low.'_ Here he paused to take a bite out of one his 1200 potatoes that weren't shot at Roman's Dirty Socks (The Mary Sue) _'I am surviving barely on purified water from the Lake of Rage.'_ Here he took a swig from his near endless supply of water _. 'Please... if you find this, know that I am Dust the Absol and-'_ Here the Absol's pencil broke, and he wandered off, grumbling uncomplimentary things about its ancestors.

Dust went into his 'secret' underground lab, where a bunch of really annoying kids had broken in through the door past his three padlocks, the retinal scanner, two pawprint scanners, and a bucket of water. "I suppose it would have been good to actually close the door," he said thoughtfully, not doing so. He walked through the many aisles of evil looking potions and came to a heavy iron door with a mechanical Steelix, sixteen turrets, a sprinkler system, and a catapult. He casually took the very obvious side door to the right.

OoO

"He's in here, men!" Aegothis the Serperior said fully wrapped in black cloth.

"And women," Jay said tiredly, being dragged along on a bright orange camouflage toboggan.

"That's what I said!" Eclipse hissed, reading off of the wrong cue card and wearing black... for some reason. For emphasis, he kicked the nearest wall.

Sighing, Grant took the lead, walking through the unlatched door that Dust had forgotten to close. He followed the path of white fur, through the aisles of evil potions, and eventually came to the door that was guarded by the mechanical Steelix.

"Stop right there!" came a voice that was very obviously Dust's. "I'm not afraid to use this!" He was holding a black liquid in a beaker.

"I've been waiting for you," Roman said evilly, putting on shades and waving his paws in the air from side to side.

Grant grumbled something and punched the Pikachu. "You idiot, you've been here with us all along!"

"AHEM," Dust snapped. "You're ruining my epic moment! I'm not afraid to use this!" He drank it down. There was an epic suspense moment, before he burped. "Ooops, sorry. That was my Coca-Cola stash." The Absol rummaged through the mess of beakers. "Aha! Take this!"

"But we didn't do anything wrong!" Dusk Shadow protested, suddenly holding a 'Free the Umbreon' sign engraved with a bunch of pictures of tomatoes. The liquid splashed all around them.

"Nooo." Aegothis said boredly, reading off of a cue card. "Not little Timmy."

OoO

 **Roman's Dirty Socks the Mary Sue**

The Mega Shaymin-Ex took a deep breath. "Hi! My name is Mystic Angel Good Ruby Sapphire Emerald Diamond Rainbow Awesome Better-than-You Beautiful Crystal Ebony Twilight Bluetooth Speaker Roman's dirty socks- what was I talking about?" She was met with many blank stares.

"...Is there an abbreviation for that?" Grant asked weakly from the corner.

The impossible pokemon rolled her kaleidoscope eyes. "Duh. You can call me Mary Sue!" She also attempted to do a cute giggle, but was cut off by Dust screaming and waving his paws around.

"For the sake of Arceus, RUN!" The Absol threw a pack of gum on the ground and it instantly expanded into a full size bomb shelter... aboveground. Yeah. It came equipped with high pressure potato guns, which he then began to shoot at Mystic Angel Good Ruby Sapphire Emerald Diamond Rainbow Awesome Better-than-You Beautiful Crystal Ebony Twilight Bluetooth Speaker Roman's dirty socks.

Roman's Dirty Socks the Mary Sue Mega Shaymin-Ex popped up from the pile of spuds, spitting. "Like, ew! Where's my red carpet?"

Aegothis and Dusk Shadow exchanged evil grins.

OoO

"EEEE! I got a package!" Palkia squealed in the Hall of Origin, dancing around like a maniac and waving his scissors around. "What could it be? I hope it's Mister Snuggleface! Oh wait, maybe it's my box of 6 million mechanical pencils that Dialga ordered. He always thinks he's low on lead and tries to commit self-cannibalism. Huh, I had better bring this to him." Despite the obvious fact that there was little to no lead in steel, Palkia continued on his way.

Oblivious to the fact that the delivery was screaming and thrashing, Palkia took his precious scissors (who he named Mister Facesnuggles), opened the box, and dumped it on the sleeping Dialga. He then tossed the box away, whistling 'Yankee Doodle'.

Mystic Angel Good Ruby Sapphire Emerald Diamond Rainbow Awesome Better-than-You Beautiful Crystal Ebony Twilight Bluetooth Speaker Roman's dirty socks woke up, her eyes now a deep, 'serene' pink. Dialga instantly woke up and screamed. Palkia snickered outside, thinking that he had played an excellent prank in throwing the pencils on his companion.

OoO

 **The stuff that you have not seen before, blah blah blah. There would've been more, but… lazy.**

 **QOTD: What's your favorite dual type?**


	42. To the Movies Again

**Yay another chapter woohoo**

 **Azure: *cough cough* Very terribly, probably. I will be sure to blame Thunder. *chases with pointy stick***

 **Nova: Yes, Mr. Facesnuggle. Very sophisticated. Mary Hope Ever Summer Ellie Winter Star Autumn Mya Opal Sue Prefect Song, huh? Very *coughnicecough*… yeah. And no, they wouldn't kill each other. They might** _ **break a nail**_ **, gosh.**

 **Doc (Hero)Brine: You're where I got the idea from. Evil, evil Sues. And there was Coke in the beaker. *chases other Doc Brine with pointy stick***

 **Sheesh, we're already at like, 100 words. Onto the story. I don't own anything.**

 **oOo**

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Roman squealed, hopping in his seat. "I can't wait for the movie to start!"

"We're not even at the theater yet," Aegothis said, annoyed as he plugged in a portable mini-TV into the Pikachu's electric sacs. "We don't even _have_ a theater."

"Well that's stupid!" Eclipse grumbled, pouring hot butter over cold popcorn. "Those lucky kids in the Rugged or Ragged or Full of Rugs Mountain have one!"

Roman excitedly flipped a random light switch and the sun went off. The moon came out. "Ambience," he explained, while Grant tried not to wonder how he knew that word and _why_ he had that power.

"Shh, the movie's starting!" Dust whispered, staring intently at the previews advertising "Gates to Infamy: Unity" and "How to make life miserable for your Dog" and things like that. "I hope they played me well!"

Thirty minutes later, after the previews, the movie finally began.

In bright, bold letters, the words **'Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infamy'** __appeared. The screen went dark. On came a Pikachu, rolling around on the words.

"WHAT?" Dusk Shadow screeched, eye bulging out of their sockets. Roman's actor was apparently an incredibly muscular Pikachu. (scary!)

"I knew all of that working out would pay off!" the Pikachu grinned, flexing still nonexistent muscles. "Wanna hear my schedule? First I get up, do exactly 1.2 pushups, then I run around my house three times and then I eat breakfast and-"

"You don't even have a house! You don't even know what a real workout! If it wasn't for the N.E.L.G.T petition, you'd be on my workout regime EVERY SINGLE MORNING! Shut up!" Grant bellowed, slamming a fist on the ground.

"-and dance with me!" Eclipse finished innocently, scarfing popcorn down.

Aegothis kicked them all (somehow, with his absence of legs) and they shut up and watched the movie. "I bet I get a great actor," he smirked. He didn't.

On screen came a pathetic Snivy, leaning on a cane despite the fact that he had two perfectly fine legs. "When I was back in your day," he said nonsensically, "I used to be a Snivy. But now, I'm a perfectly prime of my youth Sunkern!" There was an awkward cough as a cue card descended from the ceiling. "Eh? Whazzat say?"

Off to the side, Jay snickered. With a murderous glint in his eye, Aegothis flipped and swung his tail hard at the Pignite. Absolutely nothing happened, except for her defense being lowered.

Two Garchomp sedatives later, the Serperior was resigned to watching the movie.

"Boing! Boing! Boing!" a Tepig sang, bouncing onto stage while literally saying 'boing'. "A Tepig is a wonderful thing. A wonderful thing is a Tepig. Their tops are made of rubber; their bottoms are made out of spring!" For emphasis, she bounced on her tail. "They're bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun! The most wonderful thing about Tepigs is that I'm the only one!" Sixteen more random Tepig came out of nowhere and bowled her over. The real Jay bounced along with them.

"This is _not_ how the story starts," Grant grumbled, looking extreeeeemely annoyed.

"Don't worry, amigo! I'll save the day!" a Squirtle yelled, above in an Air Force plane. He began dropping bombs everywhere.

"Zephyr, get out of here! This isn't your story!" Moonless the Umbreon yelled, shaking a paw up at him.

"It's not yours either!" the Squirtle shouted back. "I must get a donut for Meatball!" With a _poof_ , the two disappeared while a third popped in.

"Hiyas, friends!" Rai cheered, grabbing a fistful of popcorn.

Aegothis roared, overpowering the sedative and attempting to strangle the Raichu like a python. He ended up tying himself in a knot.

oOo

Two iron locked cages, sixteen straitjackets, twenty-four padlocks, three retinal scanners, and one hundred diamond coated chains later, the Serperior was hung up onto a random tree while Roman hit it like a piñata. "Back to the movie," Dust grumbled.

On-screen came a Grovyle next, emitting a feral scream and attacking everything in sight. "I'm not sure whether to like this guy or not," the real Grant said, amazed.

"I don't!" Aegothis snapped, somehow having escaped from his imprisonment.

"We know!" everyone grumbled.

"Let's keep going," someone said nervously.

Next came Eclipse. He twirled around onstage, belting out children's songs at the top of his lungs. The real Zorua's jaw dropped. "Wha-what- WHAAAAT?"

"Who made this movie?" Dust demanded. "Oh wait, it was me, heh heh." The next part of the movie came, and this time a beautiful Mega Absol walked onstage and posed heroically.

"Objection!" Bob said, slamming a gavel onto his podium thing. "Claiming that a Mega Absol looks feminine!"

"Who ever said that?" Dust asked, sweatdropping nervously.

Yveltal grabbed a fire poker stick, stuck a marshmallow on the points, and began chasing him.

Moonless appeared with his Gword.

Zephyr appeared with a water gun.

Grant fingered a massive sword.

Aegothis was already chasing him with a chainsaw.

 **oOo**

 **IMPOOOOOORTANT**

 **Okay. Now that I have you attention, there's something happening. It's very, VERY, exciting. Moonlesz Night has made a crossover one shot thingie of his 'The Wizard' (very cool story, check it out) and Gates to Infamy. It's on his page, GO READ IT. :D**

 **And I will be posting my zombie story thing (Misery Loves Company) soon.**

 **QOTD: What has been your… um. Hold on. What's your favorite line break? :p**


	43. The Checklist

**Rai: I love Tigger. And yes, Rai is now immortal. xD**

 **Azure: It's too complicated to explain the morphs and stuff. Accept Infamy logic. :p**

 **Doc Brine: I'm sure Dust thanks you. xD Bad RAYQUAZA! BACK TO BED!**

 **Dranicus101: I need a nickname for you… Thanks Sam! I support N.E.L.G.T as well. Many, many pokemon will thank you. :p**

 **I don't really own much.**

 **OoO**

"Annoy Aegothis for the day… check." Eclipse looked at the steaming mad Serperior who was currently under lock and key with three dozen Arcanine guards. "Put pinecones in Grant's breakfast… check." The Zorua looked at the raging Grovyle. "Attempt to copy and be half as awesome as Roman… nope! Looks like I got something else to do!" Eclipse happily bounced off of the Burned Tower, hopped into the burned down Forest Grotto (blame Jay), boinged off of Dusk Shadow's new trampoline, and ruined Dust's exploding new experiment. "Hiyas, Dusty! Where's Roman?"

'Dusty' glared heatedly at Eclipse. "He's being tarred and feathered now, I imagine. Or maybe my guillotine found him. Or, more likely, he's annoying the living crap out of the Legendaries."

 **With Roman:**

"So what _is_ your phone number?" the Pikachu was asking Arceus for the millionth time that day. The omniscient Legendary resisted the urge to strangle him.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he wailed, sitting on top of Roman and bawling his eyes out. Kyogre grumbled something and punched him in the head. "SHUT UP, KYOGRE! I didn't steal Mr. Facesnuggles! Again." Kyogre punched him in the face again, before performing a 16 hit combo on the nearest vending machine. Legendaries gotta eat, you know!

"That's my property!" Yveltal snapped suddenly, appearing out of the wall. "See, right there! 'Property of Yveltal!'

There was a massive catfight, and Roman got kicked back down to earth.

OoO

"Just kidding!" the Pikachu said cheerfully, waking up from a daydream. "Here's what really happened."

OoO

Roman and his band, the Day Old Growlithe Excrement (Doge), were practicing. Kyurem Black was singing the hard rock version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Kyurem White was playing a twenty minute drum solo on the bongos, and Kyurem was screeching out 'We Are the Champions' at top volume. Roman was attempting to sing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' as a rap.

Dusk Shadow and Grant were throwing colored pencils at the band. "This is so good." The Grovyle said boredly, and stuck a fist in his mouth to stop from laughing.

Dusk Shadow spit the fist out. "Yuck! Tastes like blood and sweat!"

"The blood's because I accidentally blew up someone's house after they called me fat. The sweat's because when I was doing my tri-daily workout this morning, one of my weights accidentally flew off my arms and destroyed a town."

"But that's still technically blood…"

"Shut up, I wasn't talking to you!" Grant stomped off.

"I think he's cracked," 'Dusk Shadow' said, pulling an Umbreon costume off. He marked down another item on his checklist.

OoO

"SHE'S SO CREEPY." Raikou glanced around anxiously. "Like, did you see what she called me?"

"You mean hear?' Eclipse the therapist asked confusedly.

"No you dum dum, see!" Raikou, who apparently had synesthesia, snapped. "She was like, THAT'S A BANANA! Do you see what I mean, Doc?"

"My name's not Doc."

"Shut up, yes it is. Aaaanyways, she was like- I'M A BANANA. No wait, she called me a banana. What were we talking about again?"

Eclipse crossed out another item on his checklist.

OoO

"A one, two, three five! Mary had a little lamb! His fleece was white as snow! Everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go!"

"Weeeeee are the championsss my friendssssss! Even though you're not my friends…"

"Twinkle Twinkle! Little star! How I wonder! What you are!"

"Bam bomp bum bum!"

"Nationwide is on your side…"

"Aww come on Jorge, you're not part of the band!" Roman complained.

"My name's not Jorge." Eclipse muttered, crossing something else out on his checklist.

OoO

"Are you sure this is going to works?" a shadowy ninja asked worriedly.

"Don't back out now, Du- er, Secret Agent 2! I paid you, remember?" another ninja asked.

"You paid me in Lego bricks. Also, why do I have to be number 2? Why am I a secret agent if I'm a ninja? THIS DOESN'T MAKE NO SENSE!"

"Use grammar properly," the other ninja said crossly, thumping the other on the head. "Come on!"

Spotlights shone down on the ground by the building, guarding every inch. Everything was lit up a bright white. Guards patrolled the perimeter. The two black clad ninja crept across the front yard… through the spotlights, through the guard house, using trash can lids as cymbals, and generally not being sneaky.

"Oh look, a guard!" one ninja who was obviously Dust said lamely. "What do we do?"

"Quick Secret Agent 2, use your shurikens!"

"Okay!" The Absol threw a paper plate at the guard.

Eclipse, a.k.a Secret Agent 1, facepalmed and crossed off 'Rob grocery Store' on his list.

OoO

 **Short one. Also lame one. BUT WHATEVER!**


	44. Deportation

**So Static Eevee gave me this idea, thanks Static!**

 **Dranicus101: NO. NEVER! Dust must've just… misplaced his shurikens somewhere. Yeah. *coughs* Dust, why am I covering for you?**

 **Static: Bah, who cares if you missed a few? *shrugs* SECRET AGENTS.**

 **Azure: They could use about thirty… thousand. xD Well it looks kinda lame to me but I'm glad you enjoy it.**

 **Rai: Its insane. Yes. DOGE. Microsoft Word apparently sees it as a word. O.O HAPPY VALENTINES! (early) Thanks! :D**

 **Doc: RAYQUAZA I THOUGHT I STUN GUNNED YOU! Wait. No. Don't torture Rainbow, she's like my favorite of the Mane Six. xD**

 **OoO**

"I HAVE A LETTER!" Roman cheered, waving it around. "I don't think its fan mail… darn, 'cause I missed breakfast. It's addressed to Aegothis." The Serperior was apparently the leader now.

"It's probably my deodorant!" someone shouted.

"No you dum dum, it's my shampoo!" Dust grumbled, pushing through the crowd. "Do you know how hard it is to make my horn like this?" He snatched the letter out of the Pikachu's hand and ripped it open. Unsurprisingly, neither shampoo nor deodorant fell out. "Uh oh." The Absol scanned the letter. "GATES TO INFAMY IS BEING CANCELLED!"

"WHAT?" shouted everyone else.

"Nah just kidding," Dust smirked, re-reading the letter. Everyone shot him murderous looks. "It says: Four score and seven tears ago…"

"Give me that!" Aegothis snarled, punching the Absol and somehow grabbing the letter. " _Ahem: Dear Team Whatever your crappy name is, as punishment for you pretty much destroying every sane thing on this dungeon floor, you are being deported to the Smoking Mountain or whatever it's named. Insincerely, the lipsyncing Arceus.'_

"Wait, so is Arceus sane or not?" Eclipse asked confusedly.

"He's both," Giratina said tirely, descending from the Reverse World (however you descend from it anyways) and handing Roman a second letter. "Here's your stupid fan mail."

"MR. SNUGGLEFACE IS NOT STUPID!" Dialga shouted, as if there had been any other inclination.

"I think you should open your mail now, Roman," Grant said, squished to the ceiling.

"Nah, I'll wait for the plane."

"What makes you think there's going to be a plane?"

"That." Dusk Shadow pointed out of the nonexistent roof of the Forest Grotto. "There's kind of a massive plane there."

"Oh."

 **OoO**

"Rank and file, ladies!" Thunderus shouted, blowing them all into the plane. "Come on!"

"I already don't like this," Grant said as soon as they boarded. He was squished between two Wailord. How they fit on the plane was unclear- you know what, stop asking questions.

Roman opened his fanmail, relaxing by himself in a random hot tub on the plane. "Let's see… three letters from this gal named Lassie, hate mail from Aegothis, more hate mail from Dusk Shadow… some random messages from that one Fletchinder… ah, here we go!" He cleared his throat and began bellowing the words out at the top of his lungs. _"... I want, no, NEED to see the Gates to Infamy movie. That's awesome, Roman singing The Campfire Song Song (C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song!)'_ Ah yes mailer, I think so too!" Roman said, as if responding. "Next! ' _Mystic Angel Good Ruby Sapphire Emerald Diamond Rainbow Awesome Better-than-you Beautiful Crystal Ebony Twilight Bluetooth Speaker Roman's dirty socks should meet Mary Hope Ever Summer Ellie Winter Star Autumn Mya Opal Sue Prefect Song sometime. They'd get along well, I think! Well, if they don't try and kill each other who is more perfect...'_ So THAT'S where my dirty socks went! Hah!"

"Please shut up!" Jay moaned, hands over her ears.

"Hey I got some!" Dust suddenly said, looking quite pleased. _'But now, I couldn't help but laugh at the N.E.L.G.T, you can all thank Sam the oshawott for that.'_ Why yes- wait, why did I get that?" Because, Dust. Deal with it. _'Ha, you made a TERRIBLE movie, Dust! This was crazy! I loved it! I can't stop yelling!'_ Thank you! It took approximately 3.141592 seconds with my awesome skills!" the Absol declared, puffing his chest out and falling into a random black hole.

Two seconds later, he reappeared. "Wow, it's good that Gardevoir can pull things out of their black holes or I would've been a goner! Isn't that convenient!"

Somewhere close by: "What do you _mean_ , there's no food on this plane?" Aegothis shouted into a flight attendant's ear. "FOOD! FOOD! BLOOD! DEATH!"

"Because this plane is a prisoner plane!" a burly Scrafty snapped. Suddenly, it turned into a normal passenger plane. The Serperior smirked.

"Freeeeeedoom!" Eclipse shouted, stealing a food cart and smashing it into the wall. He grabbed another one and charged blindly with it. It crashed into the cockpit, which knocked out the pilot. "Uh oh."

"I'm ditching!" Grant stated, grabbing a convenient parachute and jumping out the two inch window.

"Help, guys!" Eclipse shouted, running back into passenger area. "Who knows how to fly a plane?"

"I DO!" Roman suddenly shouted, leaping out of his seat.

"Everybody grab your barf bags, hug the walls, stop drop and roll and PREPARE FOR DEATH!" Aegothis shrieked fearfully.

"And make it double!" Dusk Shadow said confidently.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" Dust said, jumping ahead.

"To protect the world from devastation!" Eclipse grinned.

Facepalming at their massive failure, Aegothis rolled his eyes and shoved Roman into the cockpit. " Do you actually know how to fly a plane?"

"No, but I'll steal his flight license… so it can't be that hard, right?"

Aegothis facepalmed again.

 **OoO**

 **Dun dun duuuun! Cliffhanger! Ish.I'm on a writing high and I DON'T KNOW WHY  
**

 **QOTD: Do you have a music playlist for when you write?**

 **Also I'm accepting chapter requests now.**


	45. Stranded!

**Dranicus101: I think I've heard of that movie. Sorry, I don't watch movies very much. Arceus being insane? WHO WOULD'VE KNOWN?**

 **Doc Brine: Uh Oh. :p Thanks for the compliment, I'm sure we can get crazier though!**

 **Static: Thanks for the Fanmail! :D You're welcome. It was reeeeeaaaalllly fun to write.**

 **Azure: Nah, not hours… more like a half hour for each of these :p Thanks for the review! :DDDD**

 **YTR: Thank you!**

OoO

"Say your prayers to Arceus!" Eclipse wailed, stuck to the ceiling.

"What are you talking about?" the Wailord asked. "It's Magikarp now."

"Shut up, that's not canon," Aegothis snapped, getting the story back on track.

"Where we we?" Dust asked. "Oh yeah. AHHH! I WANT MY MOMMY!"

 **In the Cockpit**

"Now… where's the throttle lever thingy?" Roman asked, nose buried in a book. "Ohh! Let's see. That word goes with that…" Apparently his 'instruction book' was a crossword puzzle book. "Wait! I have a rap! Oh snap! I need a nap! Care bears! Dutch hairs! Bus fares! PIE!" He sat back, looking pleased. "Wait… why does the ground want to hug us?" He paused, deep in thought. "I _knew_ I was missing something! MAGIC POWERS ACTIVATE!" He crumpled up a nearby sheet of paper and tossed it into his mouth.

At that second the captain, who was Bob, woke up. "What are you doing? WHERE'S MY CO-PILOT?"

"Uh… what does she look like?" Roman asked meekly.

"She's a paper airplane!" Bob snapped, stomping around.

Roman was silent for an awkward amount of time. "Um… I have to pee. Later bye!" He exited.

Bob growled. "Oh well, she was my third paper airplane. I still have Paper Airplane A, at least…"

OoO

So in short they landed semi safely into the middle of nowhere. "Well this sucks," Aegothis grumbled, kicking several pieces of Scotch tape off of his foot. Why was there tape, you ask? Wellllll….

"Flashback time!" Roman crowed.

" _MAN OVERBOARD!" Eclipse screamed as soon as Grant abandoned ship. "RUNN!" The airplane began to spit and creak ominously as the metal cracked._

" _Don't worry, I have a plan!" Dust announced grandly, putting several pieces of Scotch Tape on the massive cracks. "We're safe now!"_

"Flashback end! Your plans are terrible, Dusty!" Roman said cheerfully.

"DID I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION?" the Absol snapped, stabbing the wall with his horn. "Besides, it worked!" Right after he said that, the plane broke in half.

"Oh _come on!_ " Aegothis shrieked nearly falling out of the plane.

"No worries, I can Teleport!" Roman lied, posing and flexing. "Close your eyes, kiddies!"

Everyone did, for some reason.

"Okay… T minus five plus five… whatever that is! T minus five plus four! T minus five plus five again! T minus- oh look, fan mail!"

"Stop using algebra!" Eclipse demanded, trying to solve for T when T – 5 + 5 equals… T or something.

' _*Ahem* Dear Roman, how do you have such nonexistent nonexistent muscles? Do they really exist? Or DO you have muscles but never reveal them? Or have you never discussed your muscles and am I hallucinating again? ANYWAYS!'_ The Pikachu looked offended and flexed his extremely nonexistent muscles again. "They're real, obviously! DO YOU NOT SEE MY BEAUTIFUL MUSCLES?"

"Shut your cakehole and get us out of here!" our favorite Serperior raged.

"Oh, right! T minus four plus negative three…"

Then the plane crashed. Best suspenseful sentence ever.

OoO

"No worries, guys!" Dust said a couple seconds later, relaxing in a hammock with Roman. "With my infinite supply of potatoes and water that I got from the Lake of Rage a couple chapters back, we'll never starve!"

"You brought them along?" Eclipse gasped, poking his head up from the wreckage of the plane.

"Of course I did, using the remains of my funds from the D.T.D.T.A.F.F.N.S.R! Although my account was frozen… darn."

"Should I rap again?" Roman asked, slurping a smoothie. "Oh! Let me get my microphone!" He fumbled around in his nonexistent pockets. "Here we go!" He had a fuzzy sock in his hand that he began rapping into. "So I was out one day, now I'm on an island today, It's a really nice day, it's also Tuesday… badum badum boom boom psssshhhh…" He started making weird noises with his mouth.

"SAVE ME!" The sock he was using as a microphone suddenly grew legs and ran away, screaming.

Roman looked sadly at its retreating figure. "Poor guy. Must've been the rain." There was not a cloud in the sky… which meant… the clouds were on the ground!

"Down on the ground _now!_ " Aegothis roared, aiming a pepper spray gun at the random cloud floating above the ground.

OoO

"Attention weaklings!" Mewtwo appeared with a flash of lightning, falling to the ground in a useless heap of dumb. "I have discovered how to get Dialga to stop bugging me because I'm fat!"

"That's great, but why are you telling us?" Dusk Shadow asked tiredly.

"Because you guys are the protagonists, _duh_. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah! So to get Dialga to stop bugging me, I discovered I needed a mascot, like his Mr. Snuggleface of Palkia's Mr. Facesnuggles or me when Yveltal stole me for that one chapter –" he stopped when Aegothis pepper sprayed him for breaking the fourth wall.

"Aaanyways, I have myself a mascot now!" Mewtwo proudly pulled his hand out of the heap of himself (that sounds wrong) to lift up a volleyball with a three fingered red handprint on it. "See? He will be my squishy and- wait, wrong line. GROUDON!"

The massive Legendary rose out of the sea, for some reason. " _What?_ Can't you see I'm trying to have my naptime? If I don't get my naptime by two pm, I get _reaaaalllly mad_!" Aegothis rolled his eyes.

"What a crime."

"Why you-" Groudon looked at his watch, saw that it was 2:01 pm, and turned redder than thought possible.

What happened next was incredibly destructive. Lets say that approximately thirteen square miles of land was wiped off the maps. What an island. Unfortunately, that 'island' was a Ranger region. Oops.

Our team made it out unsurprisingly unscathed, ready for another adventure.

OoO

 **HAPPY LATE SINGLE AWARENESS DAY! (aka Valentine's Day)**

 **5 more chapters until… yeah, I have no idea what to do for chapter 50. -_-**


	46. Get a Life

**Professor Herobrine suggested this chapter, thanks!**

 **Rai: Be sad and depressed because our lives are boring and lame. :p FUZZY SOCKS! Love 'em. :DDDD**

 **Doc Brine: That is definitely interesting. FOR CHEESE!**

 **Oceanskies13: Nice to see you made an account! Thanks for dropping by! :DD**

 **OoO**

"Can't you go any faster?" Secret Agent 1 hissed, punching Shadowy Ninja 2 in the face.

"Well, it's not easy with sixteen Happy Meals, two hundred cheeseburgers, and sixteen pound weights strapped to my nose!" Shadowy Ninja 2 growled, falling sixty feet down a random flight of steps.

"Stop complaining!" Secret Agent patted his bag of feathers. "See, I am veeeeery stealthy!" He pounded against a brass gong as hard as he could.

A voice came from the top of the stairs. "Will you be quiet up there? I'm trying to record my rap albums!" Despite the fact that they would have been down there to him, Shadowy Ninja and Secret Agent quickly shut up.

Finally, after about sixty three billion mishaps later, they made it to the top floor. "Yeesh, it's been long enough," the King of Burgers grumbled, playing Clue with himself and dancing the disco.

"YOU!" Shadowy Ninja shouted, pointing an accusing finger at a potted plant.

"Sorry, mommy said never to give my name or secret identity to strangers." Roman folded his arms for two seconds before: "HI! I'm Roman!"

"Roman? What are you doing?" Secret Agent 1 asked, watching the Pikachu oddly. The Pikachu was now wearing a bright red robe and had a plastic crown on his head.

"How do you know my secret identity?" Roman shrieked, falling dramatically to the ground. "Oh, it's the crown, isn't it. Or… YOU'RE AN IDENTITY THEIF!"

"How'd you get in here anyways?" asked the King of Burgers, who was secretly the King of Burgers. "Tell me or suffer the terrible consequences!"

"Not on my watch!" Roman said with a weird swagger. "Unfortunately, I don't have a watch. Have fun burning in terrible agony!"

"Weeeellll…. Flashback time!" Secret Agent laughed nervously.

" _Open Sesame!" Shadowy Ninja said, waving a toy wand. "WHY WON'T YOU OPEN?"_

" _Maybe it's because there's a door right there," Secret agent said, waving a paw at the very large door._

" _Pah, that's no fun!" Shadowy Ninja said, throwing a massive exploding pineapple at the wall._

"So that's the big explosion I felt!" Roman said in wonder.

The King of Burgers rolled his eyes. "Actually, that was my head exploding at the terrible-ness of your rapping."

Roman cleared his throat. "Oh yeah! Listen to this, guys!"

"NOOOO!" Shadowy Ninja screamed, throwing several smokebombs on the ground with a few hamsters. "Escape! Dun dun dun dun dunnnn!"

"On what?" the lead hamster grumbled, wiping its eyes. "Mister Kingly Dude is blocking the exit."

"I knew that," Secret Agent said crossly. "But I can't escape out the window unless I'm on fire because that's more dramatic."

The hamster growled and shot a massive laser beam out of its mouth, throwing the Absol out the window. Screams could be heard as he fell down two feet to the ground.

"Wait, how is that possible!" Eclipse threw off his costume as Secret Agent 1. "We were like, two hundred feet up!"

"We're in a play, dummy!" The King of Burgers vanished in a cloud of burgers.

"Soo… now what do we do?" Eclipse asked awkwardly.

"CLAP!" Dialga boomed, waving a big cardboard sign at the crowd that said 'Applesauce'. The crowd stampeded.

"I like this entertainment," Palkia said happily, eating popcorn.

"Of course you do," Aegothis grumbled, wearing a dunce cap. "You're not right in the head."

"Oh, that's a shame. It must've left." Palkia frowned. "No, it must be the wrong head! Ha-HA!"

"…Shut up, you!"

OoO

Meanwhile, Grant was relaxing on a random tropical beach, slurping a smoothie. It would have been a perfect day, if it wasn't for the grey clouds, thunderstorms, absence of light, and the fact that there was a tsunami coming. Well, and the fact that Roman was sitting on the beach chair next to him.

The Grovyle screamed, leaping off the chair and diving into the water to escape the Pikachu. I feel bad for him. …Sarcasm.

OoO

 **Short chapter, sorry. D:**


	47. We're BACK!

**Happy Late Birthday, Pokemon!**

 **Static: I know. I love him too, xD. Long chapters are fine too, ya know! I'm just suuuuper lazy.**

 **Nova: IT'S IMPOTHIBLE. Apparently that's a word. O-o**

 **Azure: Well, um you see… I have no explanation. The sane ones are Aegothis (ish) and Dusk Shadow… yeah this team is going downhill. *winces***

 **Doc: THANKS! POPCORN! NUM NUMS!**

 **I don't own anything except this.**

 **OoO**

"If I had proper arms, I'd kill you right now!" Aegothis roared, chasing Eclipse around the room… wherever they were.

"Why? What did I do?" Eclipse wailed.

"HE ATE MY BANANA!" Roman held up a wilted flower. Of course by now, everyone ignored him. "HE BIT MY PUZZLE!" The Pikachu added a sock to the flower.

"I have more polygons than you!" Dust declared, grinning madly. "Therefore, I am more awesome than all of you!"

"Please shut up," the Serperior groaned, facepalming somehow. "Or die. I like both of those options."

"Rage is good," iPhone the Phione said blandly. "I will now recite all thirteen verses of my dark emo poetry."

"I think I should rap." Roman argued, flexing to show how much more qualified he was. "Here, listen."

"SAVE YOURSELVES!" Dust shrieked, waving a sign in the air that said 'THE END IS LEER' that promptly exploded.

"I am a P-I-K-A-C-H-U! I am like a train that goes CHOO CHOO! I run over innocent people! I like tea on a steeple!"

"Death. Rage. Anger. Pain. Sadness. Blah, I am a master of this."

"Okay, shut up! BOTH OF YOU!" Aegothis smacked them both into the wall, did a backflip in mid-air, and faceplanted into a random abyss.

From inside the wall, there was a muffled: "I told you I was more qualified. You're just jealous."

 **After Ae gave them the beating of their life**

… **er, I mean, in the editing room**

"Wait wait wait! That's not in the script!" the producer complained, hitting the editor upside the head. "How does a Pikachu turn into a _Jolteon?"_

The editor, who was Eclipse in a really bad disguise, twiddled with his mustache. "You're kind of behind on the times, boyo."

"MY EMPLOYEES DO NOT CALL ME 'BOYO'! You're fired!" The producer, who was really the producer, er, the director, pointed at a random potted plant in the corner and laughed like a maniac.

"Let's pretend this didn't really happen!" Eclipse suggested brightly.

 **Back with the crew**

"...so, now what do we do?" Jay asked nervously, edging away from a _very_ angry Aegothis.

Roman threw a football at the Serperior's head. "Let's play a game!"

"NO!"

Roman frowned. "Ohhh say can you seeeeee, by the light of the sea! What so proudly we failed,"

"I really want to kill him right now." Dust grumbled. Ae flipped out.

"You can't kill him, I'M killing him! And if you kill him, I'll bring him back to life with a probably satanic ritual! Then I'll kill you BOTH!"

Dust stepped back a little. "Why haven't you killed him yet?"

The Serperior grumbled a bit. "Too many fans around. But MARK MY WORDS, I WILL STRIKE HIM DOWN!"

"Um yeah, I'll be going now," the Absol said, grinning and falling down an elevator shaft.

 _THUMP!_

"What was that?" Eclipse asked frantically.

Aegothis casually looked down the elevator shaft at Dust crawled up, fur blackened with soot. "How'd that happen?" he asked incredulously.

Dust leapt into a beach chair and pulled a drink out of nowhere. "Well you see, that thing actually led to a secret underground organization's secret headquarters where they have their secret meetings…"

"This'll go on for a while." Eclipse and Jay began playing a game of War with dominoes and various potted plants.

Aegothis began sharpening a knife, eying Roman evilly.

"So they invited me to their ultra secret meetings where they debated about how to best steal Roman's secret muscles and why Dialga is a baby and how politics are-"

"That's quite enough!" Roman did a flip in mid-air and struck about thirty thousand poses with his secret muscles before doing the disco on a mushroom.

"Thank you for that _completely unnecessary_ performance,you dog!" Deoxys appeared out of nowhere and began stroking his invisible beard.

"And who might you be?" Dusk Shadow asked wearily, collapsing on the ground.

"Deoxyribonucleic Acid, but my friends call me Deoxys. You can call me DNA because I don't have any friends."

"That's lovely."

"I thought so too," Deoxys said genuinely. "Anyways, I came to say that Mewtwo is coming and he's really mad because he finally found out that you were the ones that ate his food back in that one chap-" Ae, ticked that everyone was breaking the fourth wall, kicked the Legendary out into space. "Team Rocket is blasting off again!"

"Don't worry, I'll make the sacrifice!" Jay said valiantly, leaping into the nearest wall and knocking herself out cold.

 **R.I.P Jay Jay the Pignite, the first of the original trio to die from her own stupidity- 2015-2016**

 **OoO**

 **Sorry about the long wait! DDDD: Long story, but I'm NOT DEAD YET!**

 **Flare: *coughs* Yet.**


	48. Whodunnit?

**I don't own Pokemon, Dust, or Bane, who belong to Dranicus101.**

 **OoO**

When Mewtwo dragged himself back into the room, he was greeted with a very suspicious looking crime scene. "Who died?" he asked, temporarily de-Mega evolving. "And which one of you ate my food?"

"We don't talk about that here." Dust was wearing a funeral veil that said 'Happy Sixteenth Birthday, Mew!' in very faded letters.

Aegothis finished washing the blood off of some knives (despite the fact that Jay died of her own stupidity, a bloodless death) and innocently turned to the obese Legendary. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Dusk Shadow was just sitting at a table, melting crayon wax with a lighter.

Eclipse was drawing a picture of a house falling down onto Mewtwo. When he saw the psychic looking at it, he pocketed it and grinned. "What? A Zorua can dream!"

"We don't talk about that here!" Dust whispered fiercely, stomping a clawed foot and causing an avalanche in Snowpoint.

"Where _is_ here?" Mewtwo asked, looking around the room that was painted completely black. "And where's your fridge?"

"Have some pie!" Roman said, bursting out of the floor like a jack-in-a-box and handing Mewtwo one of his prized colored pencils. "I know, it's a very sophisticated gift from me to you," he said, nodding and stumbling over the word 'sophisticated'. "Merry Christmas!"

"You idiot, Christmas is over!" Ae furiously launched into the Preamble of the Constitution.

Roman gasped. "Wait, _whaaaaaaat?_ My life is ruined! Next thing you're going to tell me is that Santa Claus doesn't exist!"

Dusk Shadow decided to intervene, seeing that Ae would not hesitate from utterly destroying Roman's childish dreams. "I think you should rap, Roman!" he said nervously.

Ae snarled and frothed at the mouth, scrubbing furiously at the dried bloodstains on his knives. "Try it and I will end your miserable existence upon this cursed earth!"

"Okay! Here we go!" Roman began making obnoxious beatboxing noises with his mouth. "Puzzles are hard, but I like fuzzy cards! I don't have a phone, and my nonexistent bank won't give me a loan!"

"Shutupshutupshutupshutp!" Mewtwo hit him with a mildly soft Psystrike, meaning that it was hard enough to barely put a Steelix in a coma. "WHO DIED? WHERE'S MY AFTERNOON SNACK?"

"Jay died boohoo we don't care I burned the dirt around her body but she didn't burn because she's a Fire type duh haha I'm dumb!" said Deoxys manically.

"Ummm no, that was actually me…" an Infernape, coincidentally the same one that appeared in Chapter 19- uh-oh, Ae's looking pretty murderous right now- more murderous than usual, I mean. "My team kind of rebelled and started a rock band so I'm now teamless… although that may have been because I tried to strangle that Weavile with a piece of paper… I'm still wondering why that didn't work…"

"We're going to get along _famously_!" Ae said with a sharp smile. "Don't worry, we have an arsonist, we're all guilty of assault except for maybe Dusk Shadow, Dust is a crazy inventor that blows things up-"

"My protective bubbles work!" Dust said with an injured look. "And my… well, my D.T.D.T.A.F.F.N.S.R was funding me for a while- but now I'm a LONE WOLF! Or is it Absol? I'm a LONE ABSOL!"

"-and I probably snapped a while back anyways. And don't let me forget Roman, who I cannot describe properly for fear of making your brain cells die."

"He's a rapper. A terrible one."

"He doesn't have muscles."

Roman gasped and flexed. "I DO TOO!"

"He's weird."

"He smells bad."

"I DO NOT! That deodorant said 'for lasting freshness! I only put it on, like, two days ago! IT LIED TO ME!"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that!" the Infernape said with a bright smile. "I'm Entei."

"But you're an Infernape," Eclipse said with a confused tilt of the head.

"My mother had a box full of screws loose when she named me."

"Nice to meet you," Roman said, now sporting a tuxedo and fake sunglasses. "I'm Roman, that's spelled A-R-B-Y-S. Who are you? Oh wait, I know- Batman! No, you're not black and you don't have a cape. Are you Spiderman? No, wait, you're too tall. Ohh, I know! You're Deoxys!"

"I'm right here!" Deoxys snapped.

"Enough talking about silver armor!" Mewtwo growled, stomping his foot. "Who killed the Pignite?"

"Absolutely nobody," Dusk Shadow said. "She killed herself."

"Ah, a suicide!" Mewtwo pulled a notepad and pencil out of his tail and began writing down notes.

"That's not how you spell 'suicide'!" Ae peeked over the psychic cat's shoulder, where he was drawing a picture of a rainbow over a mountain of food. Under it were the words Mewtwo plus Pie equals Alicorn.

Snarling about cars under his breath, Mewtwo Teleported out of the room.

 **OoO**

 **So close to 50! :DDD**


	49. Journal

**Been a while… credit to Static Eevee 198 for the Dream Rapping idea.**

 **Azure: Ae is violence. 'Nuff said. As for the big 5-0, who isn't? :D**

 **Rai: Meh, Jay was always planned to die… yep, cannon fodder. If Paper Airplane A can be missed, so can Jay! Roman plus Pie equals… read on and see.**

 **OoO**

"Good news, folks! If we can't go down anymore, the only way to go is up!" Roman jumped up and crashed into the sky, causing a massive aerial pileup.

Eclipse watched with wide eyes as the bodies of several fainted Archeops fell down.

"Listen to this!" Dusk Shadow hurried in. "Due to extensive property damage, we're being sued and evicted to the Smoking Mountain."

Entei the Infernape pounded his fist against his palm. "UNACCEPTABLE! This means war! To court!"

 **In Court**

"NOW WHAT?" Bob the Blaziken screeched, sucking on his gavel like a pacifier.

"Let's not do this," Ae decided. "I'll take the dungeon."

 **In the Smoking Mountain, Day One**

Eclipse groaned, pulling himself along slowly. "Where'd all our food go? I'm _starving!_ "

"Sorry, bro!" a very fat Mewtwo said, sitting atop a massive dragon hoard of food.

Yveltal appeared, in a nest of vending machines. He waved a bag of chips around and said, "Two quarters…" like a salesperson.

"How about an autograph instead?" Roman asked brightly, flexing.

Yveltal stuck his tongue out. "What am I, a fourteen year old girl? I'll take it!"

 **Day Two**

"I still think we should've gone to court!" Ae growled, dragging everyone to court.

"NOOOO _! Not you again!_ " Bob pounded on the ground with his fists, sobbing loudly. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Well, you have an obsession with inanimate paper airplanes, you have killed said paper airplanes, you think said paper airplanes are your own children-" a random Dustox said, rolling his eyes.

" _Shut up, criminal!"_ Bob slammed the remains of his gavel on the soaked floor, and two Arcanine came in and took the poor Dustox away.

 **Day 3**

"Okay, this is ridiculous!" Entei raised a fist 'dramatically' (i.e. he began picking his nose) and pointed to Mewtwo. "I want to battle! Let the turn based battle begin!"

A turn based battle began!

Entei used Sunny Day, Calm Mind, Taunt, Bulk Up, and Torment all in one turn.

Mewtwo flinched from confusion!

Entei used Blast Burn! It wasn't very effective… for some reason.

Mewtwo Mega evolved into Mega Mewtwo Y! Mega Mewtwo Y used Psystrike! It's super effective! Entei was utterly annihilated!

Ae looked down at Entei's smoking body. "Well, that was short-lived."

Eclipse began chanting random words in Unown. "R.I.P."

 **Day 4**

"Hey guys, I figured out how to rap in my sleep!" Roman announced. "Using a special formula of Pokepuffs and a Munna's Dream Mist (while the others scrounged for a mouthful of food) I figured out how to let all of you enjoy my rapping while asleep!"

Dusk Shadow's eyes bulged. "NOO! Mercy, please!"

Ae grimaced. "Don't worry, troops! As long as he can't touch us, he can't do whatever he does to us!"

"Where did that logic come from?" Roman criticized. "I like to call this… Dream Rapping!

 **Day 7… two sleepless nights later**

Dust scribbled madly on a newfound journal. ' _Day 7: Mewtwo ate most of our food. We're giving our rations to Roman-_

Ae wrenched a Casteliacone out of the Pikachu's grip. "MINE!"

 _-in the hope that he, being the most popular,'_

Roman abandoned the food fight and flexed. "My single sold THREE copies! Clearly, the fans love me!" Unfortunately, Dust was flexed out of the room.

 _-will not be brutally killed by the hostile residents of our former dungeon.'_

Suddenly Eclipse came running up, a small laptop in paw. "Look what I found!

OoO

 **Sorry for the late/short chapter! xD**

 **QOTD/Trivia: Who was the first Legendary on the team?**


	50. Party Like its Chapter 99

**We've come a long ways to chapter 50, but it couldn't've been done without you all.**

 **Dranicus101: Don't give him any ideas now. It was actually Virizion, I believe she was the only one on the team officially.**

 **Static: Correct! Hopefully it comes out as good as you think.**

 **Azure: I call Infamy logic. Note to self, send the team to your place… did I just say that out loud? :D**

 **Nova: It's Virizion. Hai! Hooray for SUCKING AT REVIEWS!**

 **Doc: If it's pie I'll take it. :I YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH**

 **Oceanskies13: Thanks, glad you enjoyed!**

 **UnholyPens: Thanks for the review, it's much appreciated!**

 **Wow, so many responses… thanks for reviewing!**

 **OoO**

To prove his invincibility and celebrate 50 chapters, Roman ran through hot coals (with his fuzzy socks on, cheater), escaped a hail of exploding donuts, avoided a wild Magikarp, and brained Ae with a laptop.

Okay, only the last one took guts.

"Are you stupid, child?" Ae shrieked rhetorically.

"Hey!" the Pikachu said, putting on his 'smart glasses'. "Normally, my I.Q is a perfect test, but with these beauties on, I'd say 10… and a _half!_ "

While the Serperior wallowed in his confusion (Roman's Confusion attacks can be deadly), Eclipse stole and opened the laptop. "Guys," he breathed, "look at this! We're in a story!"

Dust peeked over the Zorua's shoulder. "Hey, remember when you fell into a wall back in Chapter One?" he asked, fully intending to use this 'Gates to Infamy' as blackmail material.

Ae sniffled slightly. "All this time, I've been an anti-fourth wall breakage mon… and then I see that I'm LIVING A LIE!"

Roman, who was reading way too far ahead, began advertising. "Get your Dream Rapping apparel 2 percent off ALL items!" Dusk Shadow stuffed a watermelon in his mouth, which the Pikachu instantly spit out. "It's a whole new way to listen! It's a whole new way to rap! It's a whole new style- with the same old Pikachu; and his ginormous muscles!"

"That was the worst parody of Johto I've ever heard!" Dust said blankly.

"Hey, remember that crazy Squirtle, Zephyr?" Dusk Shadow asked, still reading Orbs of Life. "He has a team now, and they're doing way better adventures than us!"

"That doesn't surprise me one bit," a familiar voice chirped from above. "Hey losers, Arceus sent me- OH PLEASE NO NOT YOU AGAIN HELP-" Descending from the sky was a majestic Talonflame, whose eyes were bulging to comical sizes.

"Nova?" Ae asked.

"NOOOOOO! NEVER AGAIN! SPARE ME ARCEUS!"

Darkrai floated down from the sky. "Sorry, he's busy watching Dora. Try again never."

Team Rising Stars, being used to inane stuff like this daily, went back to the laptop. "You know that Umbreon, Moonless, he blasted me with that weird Dark power? It turns out he's a morphing wizardy guy!"

Roman punched the air. "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!"

"…and that Raichu? Yeah, she has a story too…"

Ae smacked the ground. "I am insulted that I did not get an arsenal of deadly weapons! This means war! TO COURT!"

Darkrai looked at Dusk Shadow. "Does this happen a lot?" The Umbreon nodded sadly.

 **In Court**

"We're CLOSED!" Bob wailed, pointing to a glowing neon sign reading 'Open'.

Nova, apparently having recovered, glared at the Blaziken. "I can tell."

"I hear a citizen in need!" Dialga said grandly, jumping into the racquetball court. "Together Mr. Snuggleface and I will purge the world- oh, it's you guys again." He slumped.

Bob didn't waste a second. "Paper Airplane P, I choose you! Use Hyper Beam!" But nothing happened!

Dialga growled under his breath. "Snugglypoo, use Geomancy!" My. Snuggleface's Power Herb activated! A bunch of his stats rose!

Ae stared. "Uh… Roman, I choose you? Use Flex!" The Pikachu jumped into the middle of the room and began flexing madly. His attack rose sharply!

"Make it stoooop!" Bob wailed again. "Paper Airplane P, use Frenzy Plant on that infernal Dialga!" But nothing happened!

"NOO! Grass is my FATAL WEAKNESS!" Dialga screamed. Enemy Dialga flinched!

"Okay, Roman," Ae started, angry that the Pikachu was slower than a paper airplane and stuffed bear, "Use Pose!" Roman began posing stupidly, accidentally hitting himself in his confusion. But it worked somehow, because enemy Mr. Snuggleface's defense was lowered! Enemy Paper Airplane P's defense was lowered!

"No fair!" Dialga whined, carelessly tossing a barbell onto Bob. Enemy Bob flinched! "Snugglypoo, use Calm Mind, then Tail Glow, then Swords Dance!"

"Quick, before he finishes, use your secret move!" Ae shouted urgently. "Use Bad Rapping!"

Roman's eyes glinted evilly, and everyone smart put on ear protection. "Yo I'm Roman in chapter fifty! I like drinking some yummy green tea! Dialga's blue but he's not from the sea! I can count to 1-2-3!"

"STOPPPP!" Dialga used Roar of Time! Its super effective on enemy Paper Airplane P! It's not very effective on Roman… Paper Airplane P fainted!

"Arceus there is no therapy good enough for this," Nova groaned as the world exploded.

A small Fennekin ran onto the scene. "Don't worry, I can fix this!" he declared, throwing a shiny Zebstrika and a handful of nails at the blown up world (however that works), 'fixing' it. Or maybe Dialga just turned back time, but anyways things were back.

Or not.

"MY BABY!" the Legendary of Time gasped, seeing Mr. Snuggleface stuck with nails everywhere. He whipped around to glare at Boom the Fennekin. "Fix him!"

Boom carefully looked at the bear. "Okay!" He grinned, snapped his paws, and the bear blew up too. Dialga's eyes slowly turned red.

Boom fled!

"Don't worry, I can fix this!" Roman interjected, spreading his arms dramatically. "MAGICAL RAPPING POWERS ACTIVATE!"

Ae, Dust, and Dusk Shadow stared. "If he has magical rapping powers I'm going to kill myself." They said in unison.

"NOOOHOOOOHOOO!" Nova screeched, lowering everyone's defense. "NO MORE!"

"I like to rap, this is my song! Let's get ice cream and an old red gong! O rapping Legends, hear my cry! Bring us a magical Pikachu Pie!"

A low, deep growl sounded from inside the Smoking Mountain. "I sense the Infamy Levels are over nine thousand. DESTROY!"

Roman smirked, posing heroically. "I bet my rapping will destroy you!"

OoO

 **Soo this was supposed to be posted on my birthday but whatever. HAPPY 50!**

 **Review pretty please? We're close to 200!**

 **Dust belongs to Dranicus101**

 **Boom belongs to Professor Herobrine**

 **The Wizard and Moonless the Umbreon belong to Moonlesz Night**

 **Zephyr and the Orbs of Life belong to Static Eevee 198**

 **Rai belongs to x-Lady Nova-x**

 **THANK YOU ALL!**

 **QOTD: What has been your favorite chapter? (AOTD: The Sing Off xD)**


	51. The Sad Chapter

**Yay, 200 reviews! Thank you all!**

 **Static: Calm down, please… don't make me get out my rapping machine. *sniffle* I know, GtI has come so far.**

 **Azure: Well, Dust is constantly exploring new possibilities (at least in this story) so that 'normal' attack is a whole new world for him. Thank you!**

 **Doc: That was SOO fun to write. xD That was just a random thingy I… ummm yeah**

 **Nova: 50 chapters, yay! NOVA WAS NOVA FIRST. *glares* Nah, just kidding. :D Thanks so much! I liked the Movies one too!**

 **D: Thanks! Roman will ASCEND veeery soon! Thank you for the idea.**

 **I do not own Pokemon, Dust (who belongs to Dranicus101), the idea of Roman's godliness, or fan mailz, which belong to YOU!**

 **OoO**

"Shut up, Roman!"

"I didn't do anything!" Roman whined, hanging upside down from a jungle gym. "Yet."

While Ae and Roman engaged in a 'epic' battle, the others sighed and faced down the huge beast before them.

To the background music of Ae pulling Roman's ears, the pokemon emerged to a crappy suspense theme. It was… Hydreigon! "What, you thought I was gone?" he roared (in a normal language), swiping at Eclipse.

Roman pulled Ae's tail, while Nova hurled herself at the dark Dragon. "Well, yes!" Dust growled, preparing a Night Slash. "Normally when pokemon die, they _stay dead!_ "

"Wait, guys!" Roman announced, throwing Ae off with magical power strength or something. "I have an announcement! Quick, commercial break!"

" _WHAT?"_ Hydreigon roared, smashing a crater into the ground the size of a Wailord.

"Dream Rapping apparel 60 percent off!"

Hydreigon stopped his Focus Energy while all three of his heads stared in a mixture of bafflement and constipation. "Huh?"

Ae Leaf Stormed his, doing almost no damage. Nova did an amazing Peck, while Eclipse (who everyone forgot was shiny) created an illusion of a Tyranitar.

"No, stop," Dust said quietly, realizing something. "Something's wrong…" In his paw, a mysterious object appeared…

A low, sinister laugh sounded from behind them. "Yes, of course." it said. "You never suspected… you had a traitor!"

"Okay, stop!" Ae said, annoyed. "All this crappy suspense is giving me a stomachache."

"But of course!" the voice said, red eyes glinting. "You never suspected me, the quiet Umbreon, to be a _traitor,_ did you?"

"NOOOO! MY OWN FATHER!" Roman howled, much to the disgust and annoyance of everyone else.

"…what?" Hydreigon's left head (shall we call him Eins?) asked, confused.

"I knew it!" Dust shouted triumphantly. "All those times when you snuck away… it wasn't to replenish your secret candy stash! It was…" he trailed off for suspense.

"Of course!" Eclipse realized. "It was to deliver information to Mewtwo!" Everyone else facepalmed.

Mewtwo appeared, looking veeery tired. "Yes?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes and pouring several Chesto Besto energy drinks down his throat.

"No, this fight will take much more than this…" Hydreigon's right head whispered (we will call him Zwei), chuckling.

Dusk Shadow smirked, launching himself at Eclipse. The two tussled on the ground, Nova assisting the Zorua.

Roman narrowed his eyes. "As much as it hurts me, my brother-"

"I am not related to you, Pikachu!"

"- I must do this!" Roman Used Bad Rapping!

Perhaps the high lords finally got sick of his rapping, because then something happened. He began glowing fiercely, going through many odd changes. His eyes darkened from acid green to forest green. His rapping grew significantly more powerful (and bad). His nonexistent muscles… stayed nonexistent.

Roman learned a new move! 'Terrible Rapping!'

A small piece of paper drifted down from the sky, reading _'If Roman keeps on getting popular he might end up a god...of terrible rap...fake muscles...yikes.'_

 **In the Hall of Judgement**

" _Arceus, what are you doing?" Darkrai shouted at him, waving her arms around. "Why did you let him ascend to godness? We're doomed!"_

" _Into my bomb shelter that that one Absol made for me!" Palkia shrieked, diving into a hole in the ground._

" _Are you judging me?" Arceus demanded. "That's not nice, Darkrai! I think you hurt my feelings!"_

" _Well, this is the Hall of Judgement…"_

 **Back with the team**

"Noooo!" Dust wailed, like someone was ripping his vital organs out. The object in his paw shattered, and he was enveloped in a multicolored swirl of light.

Dust Mega Evolved into Mega Absol!

"I won't let you do this!" he cried heroically. "Look at them, how they're all fighting for something they believe in!"

Cue camera move to Ae, who was nonchalantly tanning off to the side. "I don't believe in dying to an overgrown blind dinosaur."

"I don't like you either, Ae!"

"Very touching!" Eins said (somehow, he doesn't have a brain), snapping fiercely at the Mega Absol.

"Quick Roman, use Terrible Rapping!" Dust ordered, mentally bracing himself for the waves of bad music.

Roman took a deep breath, closing his eyes and flexing. "I like paws! I don't have claws! Johto is not a state! Ae does not have a mate! I like to ice skate! Grapes are cool! I don't have a pool!"

" _Shut up!"_ Hydreigon roared, lunging for the Pikachu.

"I WON'T LET YOU TAKE THE LAST THING THAT MEANS SOMETHING TO THE REVIEWERS!" Dust leapt for him, intercepting him with razor sharp claws.

"How noble," Hydreigon sneered, bodily slamming him out of the way. "Out of my way, you pathetic Dark type!"

" _No!"_ the Mega Absol roared, taking a deep breath and blasting Hydreigon with an immensely powerful beam. It left him panting, and with a muted snarl, Hydreigon went flying away from the Absol and Pikachu.

Hydreigon got up, slowly, painfully. His eyes blazed with a furious fire as he charged at the Dark type with his body encased in a dark purple aura. Dust closed his eyes and braced for impact as the two went crashing into a random field nearby.

 **In the Hall of Judgement**

" _Whatever!" Darkrai growled, floating over to a big conspicuous console labeled 'Airstrike'. "I'll end this myself!"_

" _End what?" Arceus asked, confused._

 _Darkrai slammed a hand on the big red button, sending a Draco Meteor down on the two fighters._

 **Back again**

"Dust…?" Eclipse gasped, running over to the two prone bodies.

"I didn't know Absol could even learn Draco Meteor!" Ae said insensitively, impressed.

Yes, Dust was gone.

 **R.I.P Dust, 2015-2016**

 **OoO**

 **NOOOOOO DUST! I loved him like my own OCs. *sniffle***

 **Anyways, a big thank you to Dranicus101 for letting me use him the whole time!**

 **But DUST LIVES ON! Go search up 'The Adventures of Dust' in that handy dandy search bar up there. Go on, you'll like it!**


	52. The Pokeball

**D: … Well, I um… may have gone overboard… INTO MY BOMB SHELTER HE MADE FOR ME!**

 **Azure: Heh heh… knew you'd never guess. *fistpumps***

 **Nova: ALL HAIL ROMAN! Ya, Duskie's a traitor.**

 **I don't own anything. xD**

 **OoO**

"Listen up, troops!" Ae ordered, looking at his team (who we will call Team Infamy from here on out) who were picking their noses again, playing ping pong with Roman's rap albums, or playing Battleship with chess pieces. Ae rapped a stick against his chalkboard, where a crude 'Rmoan Wzu Here' was scrawled. "After we suffered the massive indignity of Dusk Shadow deserting… traitoring… whatever…. We must get revenge!"

"Okay," Darkrai, who was actually being normal, said.

 **An hour later**

At the steps of a completely black massive castle with incredibly security (Team Infamy just used Roman's invincibility to disarm them), Team Infamy knocked on the door. Immediately the dragon knocker came alive and tried to eat them alive. Eclipse kicked it into submission while Roman yelled, "Girl Scout cookies!"

Immediately the door opened, with a Duskull glaring at them. "But you're guys."

Nova and Darkrai turned bright red and blew up the Duskull. Two seconds later, an identical Duskull came to the door, picking up the remains of his comrade. "What flavor do you want?" he asked politely.

Eclipse tipped his head. "I thought we were the ones selling cookies."

Ae scowled. "No, we're not selling anything but HARD, COLD, REVENGE! WITH CHICKEN!" and Leaf Stormed the Duskull.

The house collapsed as a Haxorus rampaged. "HEY! Dusk Shadow doesn't live here, I DO! The one that got 16-hit comboed into the ground!" He stomped the ground furiously.

"Sorry, ma'am!" Roman said cheerily, pulling actual cookies out of nowhere. "Would you like one of my EXCLUSIVE, one of a kind rap albums?"

"They're one of a kind because no one else would touch them with a twenty foot long pole," Nova, who caught on quick, informed. Haxorus looked back at his ruined house and growled lowly.

"We should go." Ae said, and they left to the bigger, massive-er house with a bright neon sign saying 'Dusk Shadow Lives Here'. The Serperior looked at it, nodding.

 **Back at Haxorus's**

Twenty rabid fangirl Pikachu hurried up to the Dragon, holding rap albums. "HEY HEY HEY WHERE'S ROMAN? WE NEED HIM TO AUTOGRAPH OUR TAILS AND ALBUMS!" and then launched into one of his terrible raps.

Haxorus Outraged them.

 **At Dusk's**

"Hey look, Roman! Pikachu can fly now!" Eclipse said, astonished, as he saw a bunch of screaming female Pikachu fly over the house.

Roman closed his eyes. "Ah… reminds me of the time when I was at that one legendary party and I got chased by Shocker… ah, the good ole days."

Dusk Shadow opened the door, interrupting their fond reminiscing. "You guys are idiots."

Eclipse frowned, hurt. "I already used my brain today! ALL TWO BRAIN CELLS!" as if this was an achievement.

Haxorus appeared, kicking Roman. "I hate you."

Ae perked up. "Join the club!"

Dusk rolled his eyes and slammed the door.

"Hey bro, help a person out!" Nova whined, unsuccessfully banging her head on the door.

Haxorus whipped out a Magic Eight Ball. "Oh Eight Ball, shall I help them?" He shook it, and it said; _Cannot predict now. Try again later._ Haxorus shook his head. "Sorry, Eight says no."

Ae closed his eyes and counted to two thousand. "Fine, we'll go back to base. BUT WE'LL BE BACK!" he shouted to the house. "Care to come with, Haxorus?"

Haxorus shook his ball again. "It is decidedly so!"

Darkrai groaned and facepalmed. "You don't know what you're getting into…"

OoO

"Don't worry, guys," Rabid Roman Fangirl One growled lowly. "I have a plan…"

"I'm a girl," the rest chorused.

"I DON'T CARE! Anyways…" Rabid Roman Fangirl One revealed a Pokeball with an evil smile.

Rabid Roman Fangirl Sixty frowned. "What is that supposed to do? Pikachu catch rates aren't the highest."

Rabid Roman Fangirl one rolled her eyes. "He's not smart enough to escape, duh. Besides, I hired a secret agent to help us!"

Shadowy Ninja 1/Secret Agent 2/Eclipse bowed. "I'm afraid my partner has been… sacrificed to an evil Legendary… but I will help you catch this Pikachu who you said I didn't know at the COST OF MY OWN LIFE!"

 **OoO**

 **Huge apologies for the short chapter. DX**

 **I am revising the first few chapters, ch 1 is already done! Tell me what you think, please?**

 **Also, SYOC, maybe. Just send in basic info.**


	53. Pika Hype

**HEY GUESS WHAT! GtI is 1 year old as of 6/11! *sniffles* I dub this year the year of accomplishment. First 50 chapters… then 200 reviews, now this!**

 **D: He's achieved godhood/Gary Stu powers by now, so I think he'd be revived… sadly. Maybe we can lock him in a pit with classical music CDs. :D**

 **Nova: AH YEA IT IS! *shrugs* Magical Raichu powers.**

 **Azure: Haha, I could care less about what advertisements I put in your reviews. xD Don't worry OC Moonless, I'll sneak you some Pokepuffs. Probably. Depends on whether Eclipse eats them.**

 **Static: I know. *sniffles***

 **I don't own Pokemon, Shocker, who belongs to Dranicus101 or Rai, who belongs to x-Lady Nova-x**. **Let the Pikachu/Raichu hype begin! xD**

 **OoO**

"Ae, behind you!" Eclipse shouted suddenly. The Seperior jolted and looked behind him.

"There's nothing there."

"Oh right," the Zorua said, stroking an imaginary beard. "I must've had a premonition of the past."

Nova glanced up from 'Infamy for Dummies'. "That doesn't exist."

Eclipse's eyes widened. "Really? BLOG!" and pulled out the laptop from chapter 50, making a bunch of weird noises as he pressed keys.

"When I was young, before electronics, my blog was the most talked about it! My fanbase was huge! Like, 20 people followed me!" Darkrai shouted randomly.

Roman gaped. "Wow, really? I can't even count that high! Let's see… six fingers, two ears, two feet, a tail…" He began spouting off random appendages, like whiskers and feather crests. "That's four right?"

Ae and Nova stared, while Eclipse cheered at his math skills.

"What? I'm famous! I don't get paid to _count_ by myself!" the Pikachu complained. "Random Pikachu servant, come count for me!"

"My Skitty just exploded!" a Raichu said, popping up out of nowhere and spitting sand out of her mouth.

"You're not a Pikachu." Darkrai pointed out.

"Yes I am!" Rai said.

"Yes she isn't!" Roman agreed.

"You're higher on the evolution ladder, and with that power you could build a private army and engage in an epic battle with Roman's army. Then you could take over the world," Eclipse said with a smile.

Roman sparked happily. "I don't know what she said, but she's right!"

"You're an idiot and I hate you."

Rai grinned evilly. "But I already have a private army!" As if on cue, a dozen female Pikachu and one confused looking Prinplup appeared, each holding Ultra Balls and autograph books.

Darkrai frowned. "That's not an army, that's an assassination squad."

Roman puffed out his chest and flexed. "You'll never capture me! My friends won't let you!"

Ae gasped. "You have friends? Who?"

At the same time, Nova said; "I'll pay you!"

"You two are sucky teammates and you should be ashamed!" Eclipse scolded hypocritically as he slunk over to Rai's side.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt!" Rai assured as she flung her Ultra Ball at Roman. The Pikachu flexed and somehow expected that to deflect the pokeball. "Sorry, Gates to Infinity isn't a gen one game, pokeballs can't miss!"

Roman pointed out somewhat smartly, "Pokeballs don't exist in Mystery Dungeon games." And then got captured. Cheering like idiots, Rai and her army/fangirls/assassination squad plus Eclipse disappeared.

Ae yawned. "I don't know about you, but I haven't gotten a nap in fifty days. I plan on enjoying this to the fullest."

"Exactly!" Darkrai said, making a cake out of dark energy that read 'Happy Captureday'.

"Is that a thing?" Nova asked.

"It is now. Now shut up and eat cake."

 **At the fangirl's evil base/Dusk Shadow's house**

"Mail!" Rai called through the door cheerfully, ringing and breaking the doorbell. "Free coffee! Donuts! Dang, what does it take to get these people out?" Grumbling about ceilings, she wandered off.

"Finally!" a female Pikachu snapped, opening the door. Immediately an Ultra Ball and a week's worth of his fanmails tumbled out on her. Snarling incoherently, she incinerated them with the sheer terror her glare induces. "Now, unfortunate Pikachu-" as she opens the Pokeball- "be prepared for your impending DOOM!" She saw who he was. "Oh Arceus."

Haxorus, who is her neighbor, stared from where he was across the street. "You want to close the door there? Less people will think you're crazy if you perform your demonic ritual inside!"

"You're the only one around here for miles, you overgrown green turd!" the Pikachu shouted back, releasing a good number of volts into the nearest object. "Besides, it's not demonic- that's Skipper's excruciatingly aggravating French superiority complex! And accent! And-"

"SHOCKER!" Roman cried, delighted as he just noticed what was happening. "Hey, an old friend of mine captured me, but you saved me, right? And now you're going to ask to be my best friend!"

Shocker stood stock still silently.

Roman wandered into the house. "Hey, where's the kitchen?"

Shocker growled deep in her throat. "Do you want to know what I'm going to do to him?" she roared at poor Haxorus. "I'm going to force him into building a private army for me! And then I'm going to find a way to STAB HIM WITH HIS OWN HEART!"

"Detailed," Haxorus deadpanned. "How are you going to do that?"

Shocker rolled her eyes as if the dragon was an idiot. "With chocolate. Duh. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Pikachu to brainwash!"

 **OoO With Roman**

"Ooh, I bet this is where Shocker stays!" Roman gasped as he entered a virtual greenhouse-bedroom full of flowers.

"No, this is mine and if you don't get out of my room I'm going to turn you into fertilizer," a Roserade snapped, appearing out of a bush. "Her room is the one with all the weapons and military gear."

"Whatever bro," Roman said, plucking a rose from the ground and giving it to him. "Should I rap?"

Sage the Roserade snarled and shot a Poison Sting at him. "Try it and die."

"Wow, thanks!" the legendary Pikachu said happily. "You're so nice. So here goes!" Roman used errible Rapping! "You're a rose! Let's have cake! Poetry isn't a hose! An Arbok is a snake!"

Sage bodily threw him out of the room.

"How unappreciative," Roman said, sticking a random hat into the room for a tip. He got a bomb instead.

"What are you doing?" Dusk Shadow asked, rounding the corner.

Roman shoved the bomb into his mouth. "I gotta run, bye."

 **OoO**

 **Chapter 2 redone. SYOC is still open! Leave a review n stuff!**


	54. This Just Happened

**GtI, GtI, it's never time for sanity… come along, take my hand, let's all go to Romanland! There's Ae he's the biggest, very brave of heart, there's Roman who raps, not very smart! There's Eclipse and Darkrai endless tales of fun, because you know two Darks are better than one!**

 **(Sung to the Dragon Tales theme song- don't ask.)**

 **D: They don't need rest. Shocker and Roman cannot be called a duo. They are a… ummmmm I'll get back to you on that.**

 **Azure: We're all hypocrites sometimes. Roman could rap and get out of the ball. :p**

 **Nova: Bun huns? O.O**

 **OS: Thanks! xD**

 **Disclaimer: You don't own Gates to Infamy.**

 **Rai belongs to x-Lady Nova-x. Shocker belongs to Dranicus101.**

 **OoO**

"Soooo…" Arceus said awkwardly as Team Infamy appeared in the Hall of Judgement. "What's up, pals?"

"You're going to do the old switecheroo." Darkrai could apparently read minds.

"Oh yeah!" Arceus said, plugging his phone into a speaker and blasting some of Roman's rap. Ae silently ground his teeth. "So you Ae, you're going to be a happy go lucky Serperior until whenever. Nova, you'll be a fangirl of everything and also be vain. Roman, you're going to be… nerdy Roman that speaks in rhymes. Eclipse, you can evolve and be super smart. Darkrai, you're going to be whatever they call the person that drags drunken pokemon home. You'll also be insulting. Kay?"

"What are you going to be?" Darkrai asked, just as a bright light engulfed the team.

OoO

"Oh."

Arceus wiggled his nonexistent eyebrows at Darkrai from the other side of the room, where he was sipping soda and watching cheesy movies.

"Oh my Arceus!" Nova screeched suddenly in a high pitched voice, while her face suggested that she would've rather been screaming "Someone kill me now!" at the sky. "Is that Arceus and the Jewel of Life?"

Arceus rolled off his cushy couch. "No, this is some corny horror movie. It's called The Cofagrigus Returns or something."

"That's _so_ cool!" Ae gasped, even as his muscles were twitching with barely concealed restraint.

"Yeah, I have that movie in seven different languages!" Roman cheered, running over to watch. "It's where the Cofagrigus rampages! This is so cool! Let's play some pool!"

Darkrai growled several Sinnohan 'compliments' about Arceus and shoved Team Infamy off the Spear Pillar. This geography is confusing.

"Actually, languages and rampages don't really rhyme," Eclipse the Zoroark said as they were falling. He turned into a Pidgeot and caught everybody before dumping them in the Lake of Rage.

"Thanks soooo much for the ride!" Ae said as he wobbled from side to side.

"My poor feathers!" Nova wailed suddenly, being covered in water. "How will I show up for that photo shoot in _this_ condition?"

"Should I rap?"

"That didn't rhyme."

"Let's have a water fight!"

" _SHUT UP!"_ Darkrai roared, creating a shockwave in the lake that caused a tsunami to splash all over Mahogany Town. "Roman, every time you rap, the IQ of everyone goes down!"

"Thanks, I think I'll run a lap!"

"Eclipse, if you don't plug that yapper of yours, I'll muzzle you!"

"That'll be hard."

"Ae, your infuriating annoyingness is annoying me!"

"Are we there yet?" Roman asked cluelessly.

"I think we're already here," Ae ground out in a fake happy voice.

Darkrai cursed and disappeared.

OoO

"What am I doing here?" a Dedenne asked as she fell onto the ground by the team. Darkrai was nowhere to be seen. "Wow, this reminds me of senior year, when we were blasting Twinkle Twinkle Little Star so loud that Rayquaza decided to Draco Meteor our school! I was the only one that made it out alive!"

Rayquaza appeared, looking disgruntled. "Why am I here? I was taking a shower in a beautiful cumulonimbus."

"Raaaaaay!" Nova gasped, perking up and instantly drying her feathers with a blast of fire. "I'm your number one fan!"

Rayquaza stared. "That kind of stuff should stay in the bathroom."

"I have your trading card coin!" Roman shouted.

"I have the Mega Rayquaza Ex card!"

Roman and Nova glared heatedly at each other before engaging in an epic TCG battle. Explosion sounds ensued.

Dedenne looked at them. "That's a Magikarp versus Seedot battle."

"It's now my fault I don't have my Rayquaza card yet," Nova grumbled as she attatched a Water Energy to her Seedot.

Rayquaza simply stared.

 **With Dusk Shadow**

"Do you have the goods?" a Raichu shaped trench coat asked, holding out her paw.

An Umbreon shaped trench coat nodded and put a Scrabble tile in her paw like it was something important. Beside him, a Pikachu shaped trench coat tripped.

"Stupid coats! I REFUSE TO LOSE TO A COAT!" Shocker ripped the piece of fabric off and burnt it to a crisp using nothing but a Thundershock.

Dusk Shadow and Rai began playing Pokemon Shuffle like nothing was going on. Behind them, the city they were in began to start burning while Shocker rampaged.

"We should do this more often!" Rai said as she caught a Mew and Cresselia.

Dusk Shadow grumbled as he caught a Sunkern.

OoO

 **QOTD: How long should the team stay weird?**


	55. The Forgottens

**I'm BAAAAAnanaCKKK! So I got bored of the weirdo mons already go me. So let's go back to normal infamy. In other news, 5,000 views!**

 **Doc Brine: Why thank you. I sometimes try.**

 **Nova: Or zero. Whoopsies. MUAHAHAHA!**

 **Azure: I gots bored. *speedwalks away, whistling***

 **I do not own anything, including Grant, who belongs to Dranicus101. Boom also belongs to Professor Herobrine.**

 **OoO One: Bob**

Since Bob got his law degree or whatever taken away, he was now going door to door selling refrigerators. He stopped in at a random house, expecting a few Furret or Raticates or something. Instead, he got…

" **WHO DARES TO INTRUDE ON HOLY GROUND?"** Zekrom towered over him, red eyes glowing. " **I thought I was put on the no call list!"**

Reshiram appeared, sighing. "Zekrom, he's not calling you. You don't even have a cell phone." She turned to Bob. "Zek destroyed our last three, so, sure."

Bob was thoroughly experienced with situations like this. "Would you like a black or white one?"

" **BLACK!"**

"White!"

" **BLACK!"**

 **WHITE!"**

"GRAY!" Kyurem roared, appearing from band practice. The other two ignored him.

Zekrom and Reshiram glared at each other. Bob edged away.

"This can only be solved one way!" Reshiram declared, whipping out a pager. "Oh holy Dialga, come and solve our problem!"

"Bad idea," Bob muttered.

In a flash, Dialga appeared, Mr. Snuggleface in tow. "Reshiram, I told you not to page me when I'm having a tea party!" he whined. "And I told you, I don't deal with girly problems like yours!"

" **DECIMATE!"** Zekrom thundered, stomping a foot on the ground. **"REAL MEN DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS!"**

"Objection!" Bob interjected. "He wasn't talking to you."

"I'm female," Reshiram stated blatantly.

Bob decided that he wanted to get out quickly. "I'll just give you one of each color."

Kyurem waved at the wall. "Have a good time. Come back soon! Have some tickets to DOGE."

"I'm good, thanks." Bob high tailed it out of there just as the house (and refrigerators) blew up.

OoO **Two: Grant**

Grant and some random Slowking psychiatrist were sitting two cushy chairs. "So tell me 'bout your feeeeeelings," the psychic slurred.

"I hate that team and the Pikachu and the Pignite- wait, did I even see her die? Anyways, they deserve to be cast in the burning pits of the Reverse World and listen to classical music ALL THE DAYS OF THEIR PITIFUL LIVES!"

"Mental isssuuues," Slowwking noted, writing it down. "Anger management neeeeeded. Also, the Reverse world doesn't have pits of fire. At least that I know offffff."

"You've never been there."

"How do you know? STALKER!" Slowking freaked and threw his notebook at the Grovyle.

"You're not sending me to a mental asylum," Grant said dangerously.

"Think again."

OoO

"In other news, an insane Grovyle has just burst out of our best maximum security mental asylum, screaming about rapping Pikachus. He is dangerous and on the loose. Keep a look out, and if you see him, run away screaming."

"Don't listen to her!" Grant said, kicking the cameraman and handcuffing the reporter to a fire hydrant.

OoO **Three: Boom**

"So… your family disowned you and now you want a job painting."

"Pretty much," the Fennekin said happily.

"Your resume includes filling swimming pools with milk and extinguishing fires with exploding cakes."

"It doesn't include that, it is that." Boom rolled his eyes, as if the interviewer was stupid.

The interviewer sighed. "Why do you think that this is a good job for you?"

"Well, I had a dream last night that told me to buy a sketchpad. I used the money I got back to light a fire and burn down the store, because everybody knows that Fennekin are useless when it comes to lighting fires. Also, grape juice is good for the skin."

"Right." The interviewer looked faintly disturbed, for a reason that Boom couldn't identify. Maybe if he wasn't drawing pictures on the walls in bright green, he could figure it out. "Anything else?"

"I can tell you a story about a Serperior, Pikachu, Absol, Talonflame, and Darkrai that fight an evil Umbreon and Pikachu with rapping. Sit down youngster, this will take a while. "

The much older interviewer sat and listened while Boom told the story backwards.

OoO **Four: Zap**

No one knows about this mysterious Raichu/Pikachu/the author can't remember, so he is mystery figure, wrapped in shadows… and blankets.

"Let me out of here, crazy stalker Pikachu! I'M NOT THE ONE YOU WANT!"

"We know who you are, Roman!" Roman Fan Number One declared at the springrolled Chu. "We won't let you go until you autograph our tails!"

"WE'LL NEVER WASH AGAIN!" Roman Fan Number Three shrieked insanely.

Roman Fan Number Two nodded.

"I'm not Roman."

"Yes you are."

"I'm actually Zubatman."

"No you're not."

"Galvantulaman?"

"Autographs. Now."

OoO

 **Soooo**

 **I'm alive?**

 **QOTD: What do you want in gen7?**

 **Aotd: Johto Megas!**


	56. Interruptions

**Hey look guys, I updated within 3 weeks.**

 **Doc Brine: What would rotten milkshakes taste like… I wonder. *laughs evilly***

 **D: Yeaaa! Sorry, Grant. You were the one that took out your anger on the world.**

 **Nova: I already died and came back to life. HA! Never forger Bob or he will come to your door as an insurance salesmon.**

 **Shocker belongs to Dranicus101, Rai belongs to x-Lady Nova-x, and Gates to Infamy belongs to me.**

 **OoO**

Somewhere inside the Smoking Mountain, a phone rung. Roman rushed in alone, dodging several very deadly pokemon. "Hello? Yes, I'd like a triple cheese pizza, delivered to the Smoking Mountain… no pepperoni, because I'm allergic to vegetables."

The voice on the other side of the phone sighed deeply. "Roman, I enjoy a pizza as much as the average Munchlax…" Mewtwo could be heard facepalming. "…but tell me you're seriously not that stupid."

"Guh," Roman said smartly, hanging up and counting his Poke.

 **With the others**

"BEHOLD MY AMAZING POWER!" Dusk Shadow shouted, blowing several tubas and rising in a unicycle. Team Infamy apparently didn't care. They were currently wearing party hats and eating cake to celebrate Roman being gone. "Ahem… BEHOLD MY AMAZING POWER!" The ahem must have done it, because everyone looked up.

Ae scribbled something in a notebook. "He's snapped too!" He offered the Umbreon some cake.

"Welcome to the 'Under 21 Club!" Eclipse said happily, stealing the cake for himself. What a Tepig.

"We're not a dating club, you idiot!" Nova smacked him in the head and sent the Zoroark away crying for his mommy. "Actually, I don't think this club even exists."

"Yes it does!" Ae said. "I just created it!"

"Count me out!" Nova and Darkrai said at the same time. Eclipse was nowhere to be seen.

Dusk Shadow did not seem to notice all of the useless squabbling. The Umbreon laughed evilly. "PREPARE TO DIE, PUNY MONS!"

"Why do villains need to laugh evilly?" Nova wondered. "Does it make you feel complete? Are you-"

"I AM NOT INSECURE!"

"Yes he is!" Shocker and Rai said at the same time, looking up from a game of 'War'.

"I was going to say mentally disturbed, but that works too."

"Begone, minions!" Dusk Shadow waved a paw and somehow the two Chus disappeared. He coughed into his other paw. "Anyways, as I was saying-"

"Hello family!" Eclipse called as he entered the scene again, swaying and staggering from side to side. "I bought us a dog!"

The Houndoom on his leash did not look happy. "I'm only here because he said there would be cake."

Darkrai clenched her wispy fists. "We are right next to the most dangerous dungeon in Gates to Infinity-"

"Gates to Infamy," Nova corrected.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall," Ae grumbled.

"-and you expect me to believe that there is a store around that sells _fully evolved pokemon?"_ the Legendary demanded, eye twitching.

"Hey, why does everyone keep interrupting everyone?" Dusk Shadow whined.

"Actually, I'm the owner." The Houndoom snapped its leash and went for Eclipse's throat.

"So you sell your own kind into slavery?" Nova asked. "I'd be impressed if I wasn't a Skitty lover."

Dusk Shadow clapped his paws. "Back to the subject at hand!" he shouted as the Houndoom left a battered and bloody Zoroark on the ground.

Ae lowered his phone. "Darn, I was trying to catch it."

Dusk Shadow grit his teeth. "YOU HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF TWO-DAY OLDS!" There was no reaction. The unicycling Umbreon groaned. "I'm not going to be able to pull this off, am I."

OoO **In the Smoking Mountain**

"Nope!" Roman said cheerfully as he skipped past a few hungry-looking Steelix.

"Who are you talking to?" one of them asked, leaning down to sniff him.

"I'm composing a new rap called 'The Rope, Hope, Nope!'"

The Steelix, who were evidently rap fans, looked at each other. "Let's hear it!" one said enthusiastically.

That'll end well.

 **OoO**

 **Sigh…. Short chapter again, sorry. I got meself a tablet though, so writing production will either speed up or slow down drastically (Bad Piggies is surprisingly addicting). Until next time!**


	57. Interlude- A Chat with Cynicism

Greetings, denizens of Fanfiction! I... have nothing witty to say here. So... I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE POKEMON GO

*epic intro fails* NUUUU MY DREAMS ARE CRUSHED

Anyways. *coughs into fist*

D: It's not like nuzlockes exist... right? I mean, surely you've never done one... those Steelixes will get what's coming to them.

Azure: Happens to the best of us. No worries. Lots of Pokemon Go here.

Doc: Rayquaza should play Go. His little arms are perfect. :D

Absol lover: I KNOW! I loved Dust like my own OC... *sniffle* Thanks so much for the reviews!

I don't own any of the many things in here. Do not read this chapter if you don't like self-inserts.

OoO

If Post Town was a normal town, they would've noticed the massive game-show like music blaring from Kecleon's shop. Since they weren't normal, all of them were there, obviously.

"So whatever-your-name-is, what's your favorite part of Gates to Infamy to write?" the host asked.

"Well, Alex," the Quilava sitting on the ashy remains of a plushy chair began.

The host's smile became strained. "My name is-"

"Yes Alex, everybody has a mid-life crisis. I though we were talking about me, not your identity crisis. Your name is Alex." The Quilava paused for dramatic effect. "My favorite part of writing this story has been..."

"Me!" Roman declared, popping up from the pile of ashes.

"I thought you were dead by Steelix!" Ae the cameraman (He was actually playing Pokemon Go, not filming. Cheater) said, looking up from his camera.

'Oh yeah, about that." Roman scratched his head. "Dramatic flashback time!"

"Wait!" Cynicism shouted. "I'm controlling the flow of this chapter! Not some sassy little rapping Pikachu that can't even spell his own name!"

"We'll put it to a vote!" Eclipse shouted, glad to finally play a major part in the story. Er, wait. "Who wants a boring chat with some random Quilava that doesn't have anything to do with this story!?"

Some random old people clapped and cheered.

"Nobody, like I thought!" Eclipse turned his hearing aids back on. "Who wants a dramatic flashback!?"

All the millenials and some grandmas who thought they were cool cheered.

Roman winked and flexed at the crowd. "Yay, dramatic flashbacks!"

"I knew I shouldn't have made him so popular," Cynicism grumbled.

Dramatic flashback!

"You call that a rap?" the lead Steelix snorted, slithering closer to Roman. "How about we show you what a real rap sounds like?"

Roman used Terrible Rapping!

The three Steelix flew backwards, through a few dozen walls. They landed on a poor Klingklang. Using supernatural strength, it threw them off. "Darn exploration teams," it muttered, spitting on the leader.

End

"That wasn't dramatic at all!" Cynicism protested futilely. Most of Roman's fangirls were bowing and throwing rap albums at his paws. The others were photoshopping him into their selfies.

"I've given up trying," Nova said flatly.

"No..." Cynicism's eyes narrowed. If the Quilava had fists, they'd be clenched. "I'll never give up... not even if I have to whip out a Death Note and delete him!"

"Wrong fandom, Cyn," Ae deadpanned, catching a Dragonite and Blastoise.

One of Roman's fangirls jumped on the stage thing, and soon the rest were lifting him up over their heads. They stampeded towards the exit, trampling Ae.

"NOOO AE!" Cynicism shrieked. "Don't die on me... I loved you like my own OC!"

Ae's eyes widened as the fated Ten Minute Long Death cliche began. "You mean... you mean..."

"Yes Ae... you were adopted!" Cynicism's eyes burned with some other cliche'd phrase.

"NOOOOOOO!" the Serperior wailed.

"Dude, I haven't even said it yet," Eclipse pouted. "Ae... I AM YOUR FATHER!"

"NOOOOO! Wait, why am I screaming?" Cynicism wondered. "Ae is older than you, so unless some timelord is on your side or something-"

Nova stood triumphantly over Ae's charred body, flames dripping from her beak. "He had to go," she said demonically.

Eclipse was gasping like a dying Magikarp. "I have been found out by my own writer... how?"

"Huh?"

The Zoroark began changing shape, growing bigger and bigger, then..."

"Dialga!" Cynicism and Nova gasped in unison.

"What?" The not-Dialga looked at himself. "I'm actually Zap. Dialga's over there at the soda bar with Mr. Snugglyface, Mr. Snuggleface's replacement." He cleared his throat, preparing some return speech.

Cynicism's pupils dilated sharply. "Dialga replaced Mr. Snuggleface? This wasn't how this chapter was supposed to go! This was going to be a cozy little chat with Roman, Alex, maybe some hot cocoa- yeah, can't forget that, with marshmallows and some fudge syrup-"

"Let me get this straight." Darkrai raised an eyebrow... thing. "So Ae died because of Roman and his fangirls, but you're more concerned about the hot cocoa."

Cynicism snorted. "Hey, it was his time to go. He lasted longer than Jay, so I guess Roman's next?"

Roman's fangirls began rioting.

Cynicism's head tipped to one side. "Is that my house crashing down?" The Quilava sped off.

OoO

"This is great entertainment!" Entei said happily to an Aegislash next to him. "Want some grass?"

"...Grass?" Excalibur asked in a metallic hum, turning to the Legendary.

"I got plenty!" Entei beamed. "Sweet, spicy, soft, crunchy, dead- I got it all! Can't let this awesome body get fat! I've seen what Mewtwo looks like!"

"If I could eat anything but souls, I'd want popcorn." Excallibur turned away.

"Popcorn? Yeaugh! Popcorn is not vegan at all!" Entei said dumbly. "Who wants that yucky corn? I got my own buisness with grass!"

"Three orders of Sweet and Spicy, please," Dialga said, sliding some Build-a-Bear pieces over to teh Legendary.

Excalibur sighed. "Dude... you can harvest your own, you know."

"Why would I want to do that?" Dialga huffed. "I got a child to take care of!" He and Mr. Snugglyface trotted off.

OoO

Remember to R.O.A.R! Y'all are awesome!


	58. Ae Rants

Well well, guess who's alive! A special thanks to Moonlesz Night and Professor Herobrine for prodding me into doing this one. As always, your reviews are read and loved!

OoO

"It's kind of nice, being all alone on a beautiful sunny day..." Roman lay in the shade of several trees laden with snow. "Nothing to bother me..."

Eclipse unsympathetically dropped several tonnes of snow onto the Pikachu. "Start this day off with slapstick comedy, why don't we?"

That's not comedy. That's dumbedy.

Ahem... I would start this chapter by saying it was peaceful, and since Ae isn't here-

"Yeah! WHO DIED! WHO'S BACK!" The screaming Absol lit several trees on fire for effect and did a bunch of tricks off an ATV. "WHO IS THE GREATEST!?"

"It's only for one chapter," Nova said, and winked at the camera. "I have connections."

Dear Arceus, this is just a bad TV show now.

Excalibur the Aegislash blnked his one large eye. "You died and came back?"

He's slow. Don't judge him.

Dust winked. "You can call me Jack Bauer."

"I DEMAND ORDER!" Bob the now-alive Blaziken shouted at the small group. "Will the jury step forwards for deliberations?"

"That's not how it works." Excalibur is very slow. Don't judge him.

"I will now commence judging this random dumb Aegislash!" Bob slammed his gavel onto Roman's head.

"We're weird," Darkrai told Excalibur. "But you haven't seen nothing yet."

Roman sighed loudly, waking up from his temporary coma. "I told you, it's 'ain't!' Ain't seen nothing yet!"

"Excuse me, do I know you?" 'Cal asked the Pikachu. "You seem familiar..."

"No," Dust said.

"No," Darkrai begged.

"No," Ae said, popping in from death.

"No," Nova pleaded.

"Nom" a random rock said.

"I'M GLAD YOU ASKED!" Roman pulled a microwave from nowhere and began toasting his socks in a microwave. He took a deep breath.

Dust activated his soundproof bubble! But it failed!

"Yo my name is Roman I'm a rapping Pikachu..."

The random rock exploded from the sheer terribleness.

"And with these awesome skills I'mma walk all over you..."

"Do you like golf?" Bob asked Paper Airplane F. "I'm sorry I've been such a neglectful parent."

Dude, he's got problems.

"So tell me if you got any last words to say..."

Darkrai let out a horrible screech and accidentally summoned Giratina Altered Forme.

"'Cause I ain't in the mood to sit around and chat all day!"

Stunned silence. Then Eclipse began clapping, a tear in his eye. Giratina Altered Forme frowned. "What?" she said, then dsiappeared.

"I like sticks," Roman said, ending his epic rap. He pulled his socks out of the microwave and began frying them like eggs. Somehow, they didn't seem to be getting damaged.

"Can we talk about my awesomeness coming back to life now?" Dust whined.

"Sooo... you like beaches?" 'Cal asked Ae awkwardly, not noticing the Serperior's bleeding ears.

Ae slowly tuned his hate-filled gaze to the Aegislash. When he spoke, his voice held the fury of a thousand pencils. "From the beginning, I was surrounded by idiots. I have had no rest since the beginning of time. When I dies, I thought I would have peace, but NO. Cynicism hates me too much!"

I don't hate you.

"I'm going to turn this into a dialogue now," Nova said randomly. "Hey Eclipse, do you like to read?"

"Hmm..." Eclipse tilted his head. "Not really."

"Me neither," the Talonflame agreed. "I tend to get mad at the dumb girl and burn the entire book up."

"I AM TRYING TO TALK HERE!" Ae turned his feral snarl on the ground and instantly melted the snow in a nine foot perimeter. We know now what type Hidden Power is for him now. "Ahem... I was brought back to life to deal with this unrelenting torment! The blood that flows through my body is eternal fury! The-"

"-raps that drop from my mouth are ON FIRE!"

"SHUT UP, ROMAN! Can I not rant in peace? Will the oppresion never end? When will I stop using a bunch of cliche phrases? GAH!"

Ae used Self-Destruct!

"Noo, Ae! We will never forget- oh who's kidding, bring out the celebratory demons!"

Dust blinked. "Wait, what?"

You're dead now because the chapter's ending. See ya Dust.

"Nooo!"

Roman watched this all with a frown on his face. "I'm confused."

"Wait for it," Nova muttered.

"NOOOO AE! I will resurrect you with my awesome rapping!"

"Tell me how that works," Darkrai smirked, popping open a bottle of soda.


	59. Happy Early Thanksgiving

**Heh heh…. Dev is crap at updating on time. Have some turkey.**

 **D: Sorry mister Absol dude. Everyone actually is as sane as ever because no one was really sane in the first time. Except for Darkrai.**

 **Azure: "All ready for action" Ha. Ha. Ha… *facepalms***

 **Nova: Resurrection is being abused, in the words of Moonlesz. I like it.**

 **Brine: Heck yeah. Celebratory demons. The perfect party material. To Rayquaza the long dragon thing: thank you for being so awesome sir**

 **UnholyPens: You did, but thanks for the review anyways :D**

 **Zion: I did the chappy then redid the chappy so formatting is crap but oh well. Thanks for the review. I've never seen Deadpool anyways but this is PG and yeah.**

 **Also halloween is over but x-files music is so addictive**

 **And goblins from mars**

 **I don't own anything, especially not the reference to Arceus Gave Me His Phone Number.**

 **150 words in already, let's do this thing.**

 **OoO**

The scene is the group (a bunch of random peeps who I think are still alive) sitting around a very cramped table meant for about two people and eating a 'nice' Thanksgiving dinner. The lights from the Pikachu shaped chandelier are particularly bright. The bulbs must be 500 watt or something.

Wait, those aren't bulbs. Those are real Pikachu and one sad lonely Magikarp who is probably dying.

Whatever.

Eclipse, sitting between Darkrai and a random sweaty Machamp, spoke up. "Hey Palkia, can you pass the stuffing?"

"Sure." The Spatial Dragon, who took up about two-thirds of the table, reached over to Dialga, who took up the other two-thirds of the table. Whipping out his pair of safety scissors, he brutally ripped open Mr. Snuggleface, pulled out most of his insides, and handed them to Eclipse. Dialga began to cry and throw a temper tantrum.

"Hey man, you don't have to smell this Machamp's _four_ sweaty armpits…" Eclipse muttered, taking the bear stuffing and pretending to eat it, which pleased Palkia greatly.

"Here," Nova said, taking Mr. Snuggleface and putting some real food stuffing into the bear. "Today is a time to be thankful, not…. Whatever you are."

Roman pulled out an Unown calendar. "There's still F more days until Thanksgiving. You're early."

Nova fluffed up. "Alright then, what're _you_ thankful for?"

Dialga looked up. "I'm thankful for my house and family and friends and food and Christmas."

"You're homeless, you don't have any family or friends, and you don't eat because you don't require food," Palkia snorted.

"Right. Thanks for reminding me." Dialga began to cry again.

"I am here," Excalibur said, who I had forgotten until now.

The fourth wall of the cozy little house trembled ominously and threatened to collapse.

Darkrai, sensing the need for a change in conversation before the other Legendaries burned down the house, asked quickly, "Roman, what are you thankful for?"

"Only one thing," Nova interjected. "Please."

Roman put on some glasses and tilted his head so that his green eyes were magnified in them. "I'm thankful that people think I'm so awesome that they buy plushies of me. And-"

"What did I just say?" Nova raged.

"-and for Daylight Savings Time because I got an extra hour to compose my raps that night."

"Roman…." If 'Cal had arms, he would've put his head in them.

"People don't buy plushies of you, Roman," Darkrai said bluntly. "If they were, they'd have green eyes, right?"

Roman thought for a second. "So their printer ran out of colored ink. That's easy to fix. Just find a shiny Octillery."

Dialga was still crying, but Palkia gave the Pikachu an incredulous glare while sneaking the rest of the turkey off the tiny table. He would've said something, but someone knocked at the door.

Not literally. "Knock knock!"

Darkrai flew to the door, opened it, and shouted, "WHAT!"

The female Absol at the door cocked her head. "That's not what you say. You say 'Who's there?'"

"Would you like a cookie?" Nova asked more politely, shoving the snickerdoodle down the Absol's throat.

Darkrai ignored the gagging and choking sounds and grumbled, "I know who you are. I'm looking right at you."

The Absol sneered, threw a pile of fanmail on the Unwelcome Mat, choked out "Merry Christmas" and ran off.

Darkrai picked up the pile and muttered "Dumb stupid telemarketers" under her breath.

"Be glad they she didn't start singing carols," Palkia observed dryly.

"Can we have dessert now?" Roman called, then saw the mail and leapt for the stack. Clearing his throat, he read,

 _Dear Roman,_

 _If you're reading this, I hope you die soon. Hopefully my secret biochemical worked and you are now passed out on the floor. If not, then forget that sentence. Happy Thanksgiving! Considering that there isn't a turkey pokemon yet to the best of my knowledge, I don't really know if you can enjoy it. If you're not reading this, then um… insert filler words here so this looks like a real letter and not an assassination letter._

 _Yours untruly,_

 _The Pokemon Who Wants You-_

"What a nice person," Roman said sincerely. "Clearly they had a change of heart while writing this and chose not to try and kill this awesome 'Chu."

"I wonder if that Absol wrote that or something," Darkrai suggested. "Maybe she had to run off to puke."

"Minor edits only," the Absol said, appearing in the window. "As in, it took less than twenty-one years to do."

"Don't eat it, though," Cal warned.

"Hecks naw," Roman snorted, eating the paper and falling to floor instantly while convulsing violently.

"Should we help him?" Eclipse whispered furtively.

Darkrai imitated Roman's voice. "Hecks naw, he'll be fine. Let's break out the non-kiddy drinks while he's passed out. "

OoO

 **Chapter suggestions please? Y'all are awesome.**


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